5 Steps to Fight Fear

We just celebrated Mother’s Day here in the U.S. this past weekend. As I’m sure any mother could attest, there are a lot of joys to motherhood, but unfortunately there are some downsides too. As a mother, one of the things I’ve had to learn is how to fight fear. It’s almost laughable the things that could go through a mom’s head and the “what if” scenarios that frequently play out in our imaginations!

Learning to fight fear is not only something that comes in handy as a mother but it is also a skill that proves beneficial in all aspects of life regardless of your role. We all need to learn to fight fear. Today I thought I’d share some of my previous crazy mom fears with you in addition to giving you a few steps and strategies that have helped me to fight fear in hopes of helping you overcome your own fears.

Some of my crazy pre-mom fears

In a previous post, I mentioned that before even having kids I had fears about becoming a mom, to the point I used to swear off ever having kids. I feared that I didn’t have what it took to be a good mom. My nature is not typically very maternal, nurturing, nor very “lovey-dovey”. In my mind I didn’t fit the “good mom mold”. I just knew I would mess the kids up.

I feared what having kids would do to my body. Really, I mean stretch marks, droopy boobs, and the potential of never achieving that pre-baby body again means the end of the world, right?  Then of course the potential pain of childbirth was extremely unnerving and fear-inducing.

Now, after having 2 kiddos I know that those fears were unfounded. Although somewhat true, they were nothing to truly fear.  I was able to fight through and overcome each of them.

Crazy new mom fears I had

Then after having kids you wouldn’t believe the crazy scenarios that would play through my head. For example, I explicitly remember that every time I would go into my mom’s bedroom in her house to nurse, I would sit on her bed and immediately start having these fears of lifting the baby up with both arms only to whack their little, soft baby head on the shelves that are over my mom’s bed. In my imagination, this would of course result in severe head and brain injury…blood…death…all from a bookshelf and nursing. Yep. Told you I was crazy!

Or…In my split level home I have a set of brick stairs that go down into the living room. Walking with the baby, I would imagine myself tripping down the stairs and launching the baby into the air across the room where he/she would of course, you know…die.

Then nearly EVERY SINGLE TIME after I would drop the kids off with my mom or whoever else might be watching them, when I would exit my vehicle to go into a gas station, grocery store, or work I would have a minor panic attack…”Did I leave the kids in the car? Did I FOR SURE drop them off already?”

I had frequent crazy fears that I was somehow going to inadvertently kill my kids…forget them…lose them…or just permanently mess them up in some way, shape, or form.

Crazy current mom fears

As the kids have gotten older my fears have progressed. For example, this last weekend they went on an out-of-state band trip. The fears ranged from a bus accident, to child abduction, to what if they don’t have fun, what if they get a little too “friendly” with another boy/girl, or what if they miss the bus home and I have to drive 4 hours to retrieve them late at night.

Most of my fears can be described as random, and thankfully they are often fleeting (or at least I know how to handle them properly so they leave pretty quickly). I have other random fears too that are not mom-related. Regardless of the type of fear though, the method to fight fear often remains the same.

Silly fears aside, there really are some scary and legitimate dangers out there whether they are situations and circumstances, people, or even attacks from the enemy. However, we cannot live our lives with crippling and debilitating fear. We have to learn how to walk in wisdom and still fight fear in order to prevent it from paralyzing us.

Take Some Practical Steps to Fight Fear:

• First, know that fear is NOT from God.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

There’s been some debate about how many times the Bible says or infers the phrase “fear not”. I’ve heard that the Bible says “fear not” 365 times, one for each day of the year. While this sounds pretty cool and makes a nice meme, others say this is an inaccurate statement and that the actual number of verses in the Bible encouraging us not to be afraid comes closer to around 100-150 mentions in scripture.

The point is that it’s not nearly as important how many times God said as it is that he said it. If God says anything multiple times, I’d say that’s pretty emphatic and therefore pretty important. If I have to repeat myself to my kids multiple times, I mean business. God apparently really wants to get this message across to us…STOP BEING AFRAID!!

“Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.” Isaiah 41:10 (AMPC)

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)

• Secondly, assess and take control of your thought life.

Most fear takes place and the damage is done in the mind of wandering imaginations. Like my many random fears, or even those seemingly legitimate ones, they all start in the mind either of my own doing or by Satan planting them there. Like the Bible instructs you, you need to cast down imaginations and take every thought captive. Sometimes just a little bit of logical thinking is all that is required, but other times a little more purposed positive thinking is necessary.

Think about what you’re thinking about. Don’t let your mind go wherever it wants. Your mind is not the boss. You don’t have to let it run wild. Take control. Don’t stew or dwell on your fear or on those crazy stories or imaginations. Stop those thoughts and shift them to something positive, to things that are true and good and excellent. Shift them to God, your protector, and to one or more of his promises from scripture that provide relief from those thoughts.

“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:5 (AKJV)

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

• Next, fight fear with faith–Trust in God.

Billy Graham once said, “Historians will probably call our era “the age of anxiety.” Anxiety is the natural result when our hopes are centered in anything short of God and His will for us.” Apart from God fear is inevitable. With God, however, you have hope to overcome and walk through fear. You can trust God because he has a good plan for you, has your best interest at heart, and loves you.   The Bible says perfect love (God’s love) casts out fear.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18 (NKJV)

Trust that God has your back. Trust that God is who he says he is and that he will do what he says he will do. This is faith. Fight fear with faith in God’s promises for you. Find a promise to stand on—find a Bible verse that fits your situation.  Write the verse down, and say it out loud.  By doing this, you will build your faith, build your confidence, and alleviate your fear.

You need to get to a place where, no matter the fear, you can say, “No matter what happens, I know I’m going to be okay. I trust God more than I trust this _____ that I’m facing.” If you can’t say this yet, you need to build your faith through consistent Bible reading (especially pertaining to your situation and/or to fear), through faith-building messages (sermons, podcasts, books, audiobooks, blogs, etc.), and through praise and worship.

“But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3 (NLT)

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31 (NIV)

“The LORD is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” Psalm 118:6 (NLT)

“Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.” Romans 10:17 (NIV)

• Then, you can also pray about your fear. 

Be honest with God about your fears and ask him for help. Hand your fears over to God. He WILL help you and deliver you from them.

“I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4 (KJV)

“The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles.” Psalm 34:17 (NLT)

“Those who know you, LORD, will trust you; you do not abandon anyone who comes to you.” Psalm 9:10 (GNT)

“And when I was burdened with worries, you comforted me and made me feel secure.” Psalm 94:19 (CEV)

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV) 

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 (NIV)

“The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all” Psalm 34:19 (NIV)

• Finally, fight fear by walking into it not away from it–Fight fear by doing “it” afraid. 

Quit letting fear rule you and drive you. Quit running away. Face your fear. Joyce Meyer is known for and has coined the phrase “Do It Afraid!”.  Courage is not the lack of fear but of fearing something and moving ahead anyway and pushing into and past the fear.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” –Nelson Mandela

The more experience you get, the more times you do things afraid, the easier it will get and the braver you will begin to feel.  Your fears will be conquered, and you will develop confidence and self-esteem.  You will start to identify yourself as “brave” and as an “overcomer” because you have experienced that.  You will also grow in faith as you see God come through for you. Your fears will slowly be alleviated.

“For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” Isaiah 43:13 (NIV)

How do you fight fear? Share your tips with us by leaving a comment below. You never know who you could help!

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If you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward!  Share this post via the sharing links below.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)