Bad with names?  Here are 7 Tips for Remembering Names…

Do you know that feeling of panic when you see someone you know, but for the life of you, you can’t remember their name?  I’ve been there a few times.  I’ve typically done one of two things in this case.  I either try to carry on a conversation without even having to say their name and without admitting I forgot, or I go ahead and admit that I have completely forgotten their name, beg forgiveness and ask them to remind me.

Oh…there is a third thing that I hate to admit that I’ve done…just flat out hide and/or act like I don’t see them.  I know!  I know!  That’s terrible!  Don’t act like you haven’t done it though! 🙂  On the receiving end of this situation though, I think I’d really prefer the other person to just admit that they don’t remember my name.  I actually respect people more for this.  Remembering names can be tough!

It feels good to be remembered

It does feel really great though when someone remembers your name, especially if you don’t expect them to.  I had this happen recently.  I was volunteering at church and had to check in at the front desk.  The girl working there said “Tracy, right?”  That made my day!  I have probably only seen her a handful of times, and I don’t think we’ve actually ever had a conversation.  You also have to understand, we have thousands of people that attend our church and hundreds of volunteers, therefore making it extremely difficult for remembering names!  To me, it was highly impressive that she could remember my name.  It made me feel really good.

I’ve also been on the flip-side where I run into a person that has met me several times yet still doesn’t remember my name.  This makes me feel unimportant and unworthy.  Those feelings are exponentially increased when they don’t even recall meeting me.  This actually happened to me with a former boss.  Part of me wanted to scream out “REALLY?!  You honestly don’t remember me?”  I happen to believe that I’m worth remembering.  So situations like this unfortunately tend to lower my opinion of the offender.  I often can’t help but to think a little less of them, lose a bit of respect for them and question their integrity.  To overcome these feelings I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but often those feelings are still underlying.

Names are important to God too

I definitely don’t want people to have these feelings about or because of me.  I want people to feel taller not smaller when I leave them. 

Also, I believe that remembering names is important to God too.  Names are very important.  Names have meaning.  God calls us by name:

“But now, O Jacob, listen to the lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1 (NLT) 

“And why have I called you for this work? Why did I call you by name when you did not know me? It is for the sake of Jacob my servant, Israel my chosen one.” Isaiah 45:4 (NLT) 

“The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.” John 10:3 (NLT)

There was also instruction in the bible to greet others by name:

“But I trust I shall shortly see thee, and we shall speak face to face. Peace be to thee. Our friends salute thee. Greet the friends by name.” 3 John 1:14 (KJV)

How then can we accomplish this and get better at remembering names?  Well, there are a few tips and tricks that I’ve picked up along the way that have helped me with this.  I’m still not a pro, but I’m light years ahead of where I used to be.  Several of these tips have come in really handy especially during a semester when I’m teaching 80+ students.

Take Some Practical Steps:  7 Tips for Remembering Names:

• When you meet someone new, repeat their name back to them a few times after you’ve met them.

Saying the name aloud repetitively will help you remember.   Just don’t be weird about it!  For example…

Them: Hi!  I’m Carolyn.

Me: Carolyn?

Them: Yes, that’s right.

Me: Hi Carolyn.  It’s nice to meet you.  (followed by a short conversation—NOTE:  I learn about THEM, and I don’t just talk about myself.  I purpose to remember.  Then, I try to focus on them and not thinking of what I’ll say next because if not, I won’t hear or remember what they say.)

Me: Well, it was nice to meet you Carolyn!  (Then to myself, or under my breath as I walk away, I repeat the name a couple times while picturing their face in my mind.)

• If you need to, come up with a type of association or way of remembering.

For example… Fancy Nancy, Tall Ted, Musical Mike, etc.  We always play a name game like this the first day of my college classes that acts as both an icebreaker and helps me to remember their names.

• Write the name(s) down (in phone, on paper, etc.).

It might also help to write a brief description.  For example… Carolyn with short, curly red hair–has 2 sons, ages 9 and 14. I’ve done this at church before when I meet new people in the section where I sit.  I try to have at least one meaningful conversation with a different person or couple each week (as opposed to talking to several people in one day).  After meeting them I type their names and a brief description into my “Notes” on my phone.

I also add notes to my contacts. Recently, I did this when I kept forgetting my friend’s mother’s name. I finally just wrote her name in the “notes” of my friend’s contact file in my phone. Adding notes in my phone has been tremendously helpful to me in remembering names!

• Look at the name you’ve written within 24 hours of writing it down.

This will actually help it transfer from your short-term memory to your long-term memory.  This is a really great study strategy too.

• Look at the name you’ve written again if you know you will see them soon.  

For example… If I met someone new at church, I look at those names again in my phone before walking into service on Sunday.  I also try and picture their faces again.

• STOP saying “I’m bad with names” or any form of this (i.e. “I’m good with faces but not with names”).

It’s a negative confession.  Either don’t say anything or start confessing the positive.  For example… “I’m good with names.  I remember names.  I have a good memory because I have the mind of Christ.”

• Lastly, admit when you’ve forgotten.

It’s better to just admit it and maintain integrity than to act like you remember (when your body language will clearly show that you don’t!).  For example… “I know I’ve met you.  Please forgive me because I’ve forgotten your name.  Would you mind reminding me again?”

What tips do you have for remembering names?  Which of these tips here do you think might be the most helpful?  Leave a comment below (or click on the post link to join the conversation if you’re viewing through e-mail). 

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If you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward!  Share this post via the sharing links below.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV) 

Updated Post (*originally published 9/23/14)