Anxiety and Stress in Younger Generations

Last week I shared about how I’m having to learn a balance of helping but not coddling my kids in order to help them build necessary life skills. Fortunately I’ve had some good teaching in this area from my pastors in addition to other helpful resources that I have either sought out or “stumbled upon” (i.e. led by the Holy Spirit). I often actively seek out resources in guiding and leading younger generations due to being a parent, educator, and church youth leader. I recognize my own limitations. Subsequently, I realize that my own perspective is definitely not unbiased and not shared by today’s younger generations and culture.

Some of the issues I have dealt with as an educator over the past 10+ years have also prompted me to seek out further counsel and guidance. One issue in particular is the rise of anxiety and stress levels in younger generations. Today, I’ll share some examples with you from what I’ve seen in my own classroom. Additionally, I’ll give you some resources to help in this area, along with other resources that I find extremely helpful when dealing with younger generations.

The rise of anxiety and stress

I’ve been pretty disheartened with the state of many of my college students lately. Although there are some AMAZING and desirable qualities in these younger generations, so many of them are so inadequately prepared for college and for life. I could get on a colossal soapbox about the sense of entitlement, apathy, poor work ethic, and lack of respect for authority that is so rampant among younger generations, but I’ll spare you that rant. My discouragement today centers around the rise of anxiety and stress (and really even poor mental health) among today’s youth and young adults.

Unfortunately, many parents, educators, and/or other influencers of youth and young adults have been a large part of the problem. I will include myself because I have personally been convicted about some of my previous parenting and teaching strategies that have enabled and even exacerbated this problem.

Recent examples of students crippled by anxiety

I teach an introductory class that covers academic success and life skills at a local community college. Over the past several years, I’ve had an ever increasing amount of students who openly admit struggles with anxiety and stress, many to the point of having to take medication. Several of my students attempt to get out of their assignments attributing anxiety and stress for the reason why they can’t complete their work.

A frequent request of many of my students is to ask for an alternative assignment to an individual presentation that is required in class. Now, I get it that the fear of public speaking is a very common phobia, but I’m not kidding when I say that these students are CRIPPLED by it. Many even prefer to fail the class or take a significantly reduced grade than to have to present.

Here are a few of the requests that I get in every class, every semester, multiple times:

• Can I just write a paper instead of presenting?
• Could I just present to you after class instead of getting up in front of the whole class?
• My friend and I would like to present together—it’s over the same topic anyway. Would that be okay?
• I struggle with anxiety. I’ll have a panic attack or throw up if I get up in front of people. Can you just give me a different assignment?
• I’m not lazy. I just don’t want to do the presentation.
• Can I just do all of the work and give you my PowerPoint but not have to actually get up and talk?
• I have struggled with major anxiety for many years, and I have always just asked my teachers for any other assignment to make up for the points I would lose from not presenting.
• I’ve already been having panic attacks just thinking about doing a presentation. Please don’t make me do it.

Giving in makes it worse

While I can empathize with their fear and anxiety, I also know that to give in to their requests to avoid the assignment would make their anxiety even worse long-term. In fact, I personally believe that’s what got them to this point in the first place. If they are asking at the college level to get out of an assignment, that tells me that they’ve been allowed to do this before.

I have a feeling many of our high schools are not adequately preparing them and are even enabling and exacerbating their anxieties, thus doing these students a great disservice. In fact, I believe that by allowing students to avoid their fears, instead of facing them, we are actually reinforcing their anxiety. By saying, “Sure, you don’t have to do this assignment”, we are sending an unspoken message of our own uncertainty of their performance and a lack of confidence in them. In their mind they say, “See I was right. They don’t think I can do it either. I was right to be afraid.”

We are coddling and overprotecting these younger generations and not equipping them to be resilient. Some might say they lack “grit”. 

My response to a recent request

Here is a response that I sent out to a student recently when they asked to get out of presentations:

I completely sympathize with your anxiety, fears, and presentation struggles. Believe me, this is a MUCH more common problem than you probably even know. There are a significant number of students who struggle with anxiety, even to the point of medication. As a matter of fact, you’re not the first student to ask me about not presenting. I get asked this same question every semester. So, you are not alone.

Unfortunately, Individual Presentations are a required component of this class in order to prepare you for your other classes in college. Assignment substitutions are not allowed, and failure to present will result in zeros for the assignments. However, I still have complete and total faith in you that you CAN do it!  I also think it would be good and very important for you to do it, even if you do it poorly.  Have you heard the quote, “The only real failure is the failure to try”?

Your teachers who have allowed you to avoid presentations in the past have not done you any favors. Continuously trying and pushing past your fears is the only way you’re going to overcome them.  Sometimes you just have to do it afraid. Avoidance will not solve the problem. It will only prolong your ability to overcome it.  And I GUARANTEE you that you will not be able to make it through college without doing at least one (if not multiple) presentations.  In college, I had at least one presentation in almost every class.  You will also be required to take a public speaking class at this college if you plan on getting an Associate’s degree (most 4 year universities require a speech class as well).

All that being said, I did check your grade, and it would be possible for you to still pass the class with a significantly reduced grade if you opted not to present. I would be very disappointed though if you opted to take a zero without even trying.  

You can do this! I’d be happy to help you practice it too if that would help and make you feel better.

Unfortunately this particular student opted not to present even after a few more face-to-face conversations about it. It broke my heart (and honestly, kind of made me a little mad too). In fact, it’s part of what prompted me to write this post. This student was an amazing student that could have done a great job if they had just tried. Sadly, previous adults in this student’s life played a role in this student’s anxiety. By allowing this student to avoid struggles, they inadvertently sent this student a message that “not even the adults think you can handle it.”

Take Some Practical Steps to Help Younger Generations Prevent and Deal With Anxiety and Stress:

• First, help them THROUGH difficulties instead of removing them.

Don’t attempt to remove all discomfort. Challenging situations will help them to grow stronger and mature and develop endurance, character, and hope. Safely allowing and guiding them through discomfort now will enable them to endure hardships later in life. Help them to see that a temporary difficulty can pay off as a long-term benefit.

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.” James 1:2-4 (MSG)

“These little troubles are getting us ready for an eternal glory that will make all our troubles seem like nothing.” 2 Corinthians 4:17 (CEV)

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” Galatians 6:9 (NLT) 

Safely allowing and guiding them through discomfort now will enable them to endure hardships later in life.

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• Secondly, teach them to rely on God in times of weakness and trouble. This is an important life skill they will need for the rest of their lives.

Training these younger generations to persevere, even in perceived weaknesses, will encourage and empower them to rely on God’s strengths in the midst of their weakness. Give God a chance to show off on their behalf. Let Him show them that HE will come through for them and help in times of trouble. Quit trying to play God—let God be God. You don’t always have to come to the rescue.

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)

“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)

“…The real power comes from God and not from us. We often suffer, but we are never crushed. Even when we don’t know what to do, we never give up. In times of trouble, God is with us, and when we are knocked down, we get up again.” 2 Corinthians 4:7-9 (CEV)

“In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.” 2 Corinthians 1:9 (NLT)

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1 (NIV)

“Guard me and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.” Psalm 25:20 (CSB)

“I’ve commanded you to be strong and brave. Don’t ever be afraid or discouraged! I am the LORD your God, and I will be there to help you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (CEV)

“Then I said, “Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.” But the LORD said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the LORD.” Jeremiah 1:6-8 (ESV)

• Then, don’t give them what they should earn.

Show the importance of earning something, even when it’s hard or pushes them outside of their comfort zone. Persevering through something challenging is very rewarding and will make them even stronger and more resilient. Encourage them to press on and push past the discomfort. Don’t let them take the easy way out or be lazy.

“My dear friends, in the name of the Lord Jesus, I beg you not to have anything to do with any of your people who loaf around and refuse to obey the instructions we gave you. You surely know that you should follow our example. We didn’t waste our time loafing, and we didn’t accept food from anyone without paying for it. We didn’t want to be a burden to any of you, so night and day we worked as hard as we could. We had the right not to work, but we wanted to set an example for you. We also gave you this rule: If you don’t work, you don’t eat.” 1 Thessalonians 3:6-10 (CEV)

“I press on toward the goal to win the prize of God’s heavenly calling in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14 (BSB)

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters” Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

“No matter how much you want, laziness won’t help a bit, but hard work will reward you with more than enough.” Proverbs 13:4 (CEV)

• Finally, check out the resources below…

Helpful Resources:

• Dr. Tim Elmore with Growing Leaders has a complimentary eBook– Stressed Out: Five Research-Based Methods to Help Teens Beat Stress and Anxiety.

“According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researcher Dr. Michael Leahy found “that anxiety has increased so much that typical schoolchildren during the 1980’s reported more anxiety than child psychiatric patients did during the 1950’s.” Research from Dr. Jean Twenge released in 2017 found that there has been a sharp rise in anxiety over the last five years. Today, the Center for Disease Control tells us that about one in five teens will experience an anxiety attack or some other mental health disorder.

To help address this issue, we’ve curated months of research to create this eBook entitled Stressed Out. In essence, we want to give adults practical ways to help teens overcome stress and anxiety.”^[1]

• Growing Leaders.com is global non-profit founded by Dr. Tim Elmore and partners with parents, educators, coaches, employers, and organizations working with younger generations in order to teach students and young adults practical life skills and leadership.

I subscribe to the blog and have read some of Dr. Elmore’s books and bible devotions. Dr. Elmore and his team have some of the best information, research, and tools available to help those working with younger generations. He’s a favorite of mine on this subject matter.

• Axis.org is a website to which I frequently refer to get guidance, resources, and help for dealing with younger generations.

They provide resources to parents, educators, leaders, employers, and influencers of younger generations. Read about  what they do here. Many of their resources are free, including the weekly Culture Translator email and their biannual online summits.

In fact, there is an upcoming FREE Parenting Relationships Summit on February 14th-27th, 2019. The summit will have video interviews with 50 Christian experts and is designed for parents, grandparents, educators, pastors, counselors, and/or anyone working with youth/young adults. It covers topics such as leadership in parenting, singleness, sexuality, biblical manhood, grace-based discipline, step parenting, the pro-life movement, the cultural climate, digital citizenship and so much more. Click here for a complete list of speakers and topics. These summits have been an invaluable resource in my parenting, teaching, and youth leadership. I HIGHLY recommend them.

• Summit.org is another organization that provides a variety of resources (many of which are free…can you tell I like free resources?!)

Summit’s mission is to cultivate rising generations to resolutely champion a biblical worldview. I love many of their articles, videos, and information on current worldview issues.

• Gen Z Lab is a guide to leading the next generation in a post-Christian culture.

This is a new free resource that I’m using. It equips us to help today’s teenagers navigate questions of truth, God, identity, social media, technology, gender, sexuality, the Bible, ethics, and theology in an always connected world.

Do you have any resources you’d recommend for students dealing with anxiety and stress? Share them with us by leaving a comment below.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are rude, disrespectful, sarcastic, offensive, or off-topic.  By posting on this site you agree to my Comment Policy.

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If you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward!  Share this post via the sharing links below.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

1. Elmore, Dr. Tim. “Stressed Out Ebook.” Growing Leaders, 2018, growingleaders.com/free-resources/stressed-out-ebook/. ↑