Are You Flexible When Things Don’t Go As Planned?
I haven’t always been the most flexible person when things haven’t gone as planned. I used to get pretty bent out of shape usually displaying a bit of self-pity, irritation and thus irritability, and even a bit of a negative attitude that often lingers long after the incident has passed. Previously, I would just blame it on my personality. “That’s just how I am,” or “I’m just a very organized, structured person,” or “That’s just my OCD personality” (even though I’m not OCD nor should I be confessing/claiming that over myself).
However, I was pretty convicted after reading something that Joyce Meyer wrote in her book “Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind”. In the chapter on being positive Joyce said, “In Romans 12:16 the Apostle Paul tells us to readily adjust ourselves to people and things. The idea is that we must learn to become the kind of person who plans things but who doesn’t fall apart if that plan doesn’t work out.”[1]
“…readily adjust yourself to people and things…” Romans 12:16 (AMP)
For me, when things didn’t go how I saw them going in my mind, I would typically fall apart. I was not flexible nor did I “readily adjust” myself to my unexpected situations.
After reading what Joyce Meyer said and reading Romans 12:16 in the Amplified translation, I decided that it was time that I start making some changes. Becoming more flexible has been a very hard, but rewarding, lesson that I’ve had to learn over the past several years. I can’t say that I’ve quite mastered it yet, but I’ve definitely made some great strides in this area.
Practice being flexible this week during my first day of summer class
This week was my first week of a summer college class that I’m teaching. The first day of class was riddled with a fair share of unexpected mishaps. However, can I just tell you how proud I was of myself in hindsight!
I was able to see a significant amount of progress in myself in how I handled the situation today versus how I would have responded 5-10 years ago. I remained surprisingly calm, was quick on my feet when responding to problems that arose, and kept a good attitude the entire time! Well, actually one thing did irritate me a little more than it should have, but I recognized it quickly.
Here are a few of the unexpected things I encountered on my first day of class:
- My classroom location had changed without any notification and without any signage on any of the rooms.
- My class was over capacity (i.e. more were allowed to enroll than the maximum cap put on the class). Professor consent is usually required. However, no one sought my permission nor was I notified in advance of the override. Therefore, (in addition to an unpaid increase in workload) I didn’t have enough copies of my syllabus or other handouts. Prior to this, I had waited until the enrollment deadline to make my copies. The night before class when I printed my roster, two additional students had been added thus requiring me to make additional copies on my home printer. When I arrived at class, even more students had been added (insert face slap—this is the thing that irritated me more than it should have).
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Distorted screen view
The screen projector in the class was extremely distorted when viewing items on the screen display almost to the point of being illegible.
- Someone was contacting the IT Department for me to send someone in to fix it so that I could continue with class. Nobody ever showed up.
- The screen display on my desktop computer (and the screen projection) would only show our course site in “mobile” view instead of desktop. This was still workable but highly inconvenient because it either collapsed or hid my menu items and necessary access links.
- Finally, the sound on my computer stopped working halfway through class. The latter half of class was supposed to consist of tutorial videos.
My response
On the classroom location change, thankfully another one of my colleagues was there to direct me because she had found out about the change somehow. She noticed that the students were frazzled because these were concurrent high school students on their first day of a college class. I was able to turn the change into a lesson for them on being flexible also and about what to do if this should happen in subsequent college classes.
About the student overload, I told myself, “It’s okay. It’s not going to be that much more work. Some students usually end of dropping the class anyway. I’ll just make extra copies later or email the extra students the forms and make do with what I have for now.” Thankfully, I ended up having enough copies anyway due to some absences, and I gave my own instructor copies out, just sharing with a student when I need to refer to them.
I made do with the distorted screen display as best I could and verbally explained things that weren’t legible. When the sound stopped working, I verbally covered some of the video tutorials that we would have watched. Then I ended up just dismissing class a few minutes early and assigning the videos as homework on lieu of watching them in class. Again, I was able to turn the problems into a lesson on being flexible and rolling with the flow using critical thinking skills by coming up with alternative solutions instead of getting flustered and just giving up.
Later after class I just went in person to report my technological problems and was able to show pictures that I took of what the screen distortion looked like since they weren’t able to view them in class while it was happening.
Previous lessons on being flexible
Previously I wrote about how we should be like a palm tree during life’s “storms”. That post mentioned that we need to be flexible like a palm tree with its sturdy yet flexible trunk and unique leaf design.
Palm trees’ trunks have a cylindrical structure with a fibrous core that enables them to be flexible and have elasticity thus enabling them to be extremely resilient during storms. They can bend, sometimes significantly, without breaking. Similarly, through our troubles we can have amazing flexibility and resilience with the power we have through Jesus.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37 (NIV)
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NIV)
“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:10 (NIV)
Palm trees also have a unique leaf design that allows them to resist strong winds, to shed water easily and minimize extra weight, and are very pliable in order to prevent breakage. Likewise, we can learn to be flexible and adjust to unexpected situations and circumstances in life. Rigidity can cause us to snap when things don’t go as planned. When we “go with the flow” (without going against God), this flexibility will keep the storms from breaking us.
“…I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13 (NIV)
“…let us strip off every weight that slows us down…” Hebrews 12:1 (NLT)
You are either led by your circumstances, or led by God
I recently read an Instagram post by Dave Adamson that had a similar message about learning to be flexible by adjusting instead of controlling. Dave gave an example of a sailboat being led by the wind instead of controlled by an engine. A sailor has to learn how to adjust to the wind, not try to control it. In the same way, we need to make adjustments instead of always trying to control everything and then falling apart when we can’t. Again, we need to “readily adjust” ourselves.
Here’s what Dave had to say in his post:
“You are either led by your circumstances, or led by God.⠀
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Being on a sailboat on the Nile River in Egypt is extraordinary. The history that has occurred in around this river is incredible … but being on a boat that is driven by the wind makes it extra special. You see, I think a sailboat is the perfect image of a person who is interacting with God.⠀
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Let me explain.⠀
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A sailboat captain can’t control the wind—they can only respond to it. They can only adjust the sails to make the most of what they are given. The same is true for us when we’re following God’s Spirit. Now you may remember that the Hebrew word for God’s Spirit is “ruach”, which means “wind”. So, a person who has learned to follow the direction God’s Spirit is leading, and can adjust their lives to make the most of every situation He leads them into, is like a sailboat. Make sense?⠀
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When I was on the Nile, several motor boats steered past our sailboat. These boats did not need the wind because they had their own internal power, and could set their own course no matter which way the wind was blowing. The motor boat was not dependent on the wind, and the captain could determine their own course and direction based on need or circumstance. This sort of control seems good on paper—but the motor boats needs gas to run, and are more likely to suffer breakdowns than a sailboat.⠀
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In the same way, you have a choice today—to be led God’s will or your own.⠀
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Now let’s be honest, there is usually less certainty when you’re being led by God’s Spirit. But as Pastor Rich Wilkerson Jr. says, “When we step into the unknown, that is when God is made known.” That’s certainly been true in my life.⠀
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So … what will you do today?⠀
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Will you navigate your circumstances through your own internal skills and abilities, or be led by God.⠀
“The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.” — John 3:8”[2]
Take Some Practical Steps to be Flexible When Things Don’t Go as Planned:
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First, recognize when you are not being flexible. Do a little self-assessment.
This can be just paying attention to your emotions, response, and/or reactions when things don’t go as planned. Do you get emotional? Do you start to self-pity? How is your attitude? How would others describe how you handle unexpected situations or problems that arise? Would other people describe you has flexible?
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Secondly, when things don’t go as planned stop, take a deep breath, then remind yourself that you are going to be flexible and readily adjust yourself to the situation.
Use some positive self-talk and positive affirmations if you need to (I do!), by saying something like, “It’s going to be okay. I’m flexible. I readily adjust myself to people and things.”
“…readily adjust yourself to people and things…” Romans 12:16 (AMP)
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Next, remember that you don’t have to do it alone. You have help and power through Jesus and the Holy Spirit living inside of you.
If it’s not in your nature to be easily flexible, just remember that you have the Holy Spirit inside of you making up the difference for areas where you might be lacking. When you are weak, he is strong and you have resilience with the power you have through Jesus. Remember the palm tree!
“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37 (NIV)
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NIV)
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Finally, stop trying to control the situations around you, and continue to readily adjust yourself to people and things. Be led by God, not your circumstances.
Remember to be like the sailboat making adjustments to the wind.
How do you remain flexible when things don’t go as planned? Tell us about it by leaving a comment below.
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- “Chapter 5: Be Positive.” Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind, by Joyce Meyer, Faith Words, 2011, pp. 39. ↑
- Adamson, Dave. Instagram, 1 June 2019, https://www.instagram.com/p/ByKd8ldAMNE/. ↑
