Ask for Help. Accept Help.

I was just thinking the other day about how so many of us are hesitant to ask for help. Sometimes, we are also reluctant to accept help when offered. I got to thinking…I don’t think God wants us to be this way. Really, this is just being prideful, especially if it’s a pattern or natural tendency.

The man at Lowe’s said “no”

Earlier this summer, Eric and I had gone to Lowes to look at some plants. As we were walking through the parking lot, we noticed an elderly gentleman that was loading a huge stack of concrete paving stones into the back of a van. He looked like he was struggling a bit.

This was right around the time of when God was really impressing on me to “love your neighbor”. So, I was getting ready to tell Eric that he should offer to help the guy, but he beat me to it. [insert proud wife smiley face 🙂] However, the man refused Eric’s help. Twice. Eric offered a second time saying, “Are you sure?” Nope. “I’ve got it,” was his response. It was evident he was not going to ask for help nor accept help.

It made me kind of sad too, because I thought to myself, “We are just trying to obey God and love our neighbor. Why won’t he let us?” I told Eric, “Well, maybe he knows he’ll have to unload it at home by himself anyway. So he’s thinking he might as well do it now too.” Eric said, “Even more reason to accept help now.” I praised Eric for offering to help anyway.

Refusal to ask for help or accept help reveals pride

Later, I realized that to ask for help or to accept help can be a hit on our pride. It’s like we think we’re not enough somehow if we have to rely on others. What a lie. But we believe it. That’s why we so often say “No. I’ve got this.” However, asking for help and accepting help is not a sign of weakness or incompetence. 

Truthfully, refusing to ask for help or to accept help when offered is evidence of pride. Thinking we can do everything on or own is thinking more highly of ourselves than we should.

“In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.” Psalm 10:4 (NIV)

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” Romans 12:3 (NIV)

God wants us to ask for help, from Him and from others.

“O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. He will be gracious if you ask for help. He will surely respond to the sound of your cries.” Isaiah 30:19 (NLT)

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 (NIV)
“Pray that God’s people in Jerusalem will accept the help I bring.” Romans 15:31b (GW) 

No man is an island

God never intended for us to do life alone. Sometimes we all need a helping hand. “No man is an island” as the poetic quote by John Donne goes. We are a body, and in a body all of the parts work together.

“When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he asked, “What are you really accomplishing here? Why are you trying to do all this alone while everyone stands around you from morning till evening?”” Exodus 18:14 (NLT)

“In the same way, even though we are many individuals, Christ makes us one body and individuals who are connected to each other.” Romans 12:5 (GW)

Tenth Avenue North has a great song by the same title, No Man is an Island. I think it’s suiting for our topic today. The chorus goes…

No man is an island, we can be found
No man is an island, let your guard down
You don’t have to fight me, I am for you
We’re not meant to live this life alone

When we refuse to ask for help or accept help, we are fighting those who are for us. We need to do as they lyrics say and let our guard down because we are not meant to live this life alone. We don’t have to do it alone.

To watch directly on YouTube click here

Take Some Practical Steps To Ask For Help And Accept Help When Offered:

• Don’t be too proud to ask for help when you need it and accept help when offered. Humble yourself. Stop refusing. Start asking.
• Quit saying “No, I’ve got this.” Consider that you might benefit from a little help from time to time, even when you think you have it all under control. What’s it going to hurt?
• Realize that you are NOT a burden. If you were offered help, they wouldn’t have offered in the first place if it was burdensome. If you ask for help, they will just say no if they’re not able. They won’t accept if it’s a burden. (And if they do, then they have problems with setting their own boundaries, and that’s not your problem to solve.)
• Realize that you are not weak, incompetent, nor a failure if you ask for help. Remember that we are relational creatures in need of one another. God made us that way. EVERYONE needs help from time to time. Everyone.
• Stay on the road. There is always a ditch. One ditch is to never ask for help or accept help. One ditch is to become completely dependent on others, never willing to stand on your own two feet. Find a happy medium.

Later, I’ll share what I’ve discovered about some of the other disadvantages that come with refusing to ask for help or accept help. Stay tuned!

Do you sometimes have a problem asking or help or accepting help? Tell us about it by leaving a comment below.

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If you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward!  Share this post via the sharing links below.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)