Category Archives: Communication

How to Pray: Speaking From the Heart

How to Pray: Speaking From the Heart

How to Pray: Speaking From the Heart

I think so many times people shy away from praying or hesitate to pray because they simply don’t know how to pray.  Previously we discussed the whys and whens and wheres of praying.  I’d like to spend a little time now on the hows.  We’ll look at some of the best ways to speak to and approach God.  Discussing in a few different posts, I’ll share some ways of “how to pray”.  In this post, I’ll focus on how to pray by speaking from the heart.

Afraid of not doing it “right”

I know from personal experience that praying can seem intimidating (especially if you have to pray out loud).  I’ve always been a rule-follower, and sometimes I’ve been reluctant to pray for fear of not doing it right.  I was afraid that God wouldn’t hear me or answer me if I didn’t know how to pray correctly or follow the right pattern or recipe for prayer.  I’ve heard so MANY formulas over the years!  Which one is the right one?  Which one do I use for which occasion?  What if I get it wrong?  What if I leave a step out?

Well, I’ve learned that there are really many effective ways you can pray.  However, all in all, the most important thing I’ve learned is that God is understanding and meets you where you are.  Contrary to popular thinking, He’s NOT a legalistic God who says, “Oh…you didn’t give praise and thanks first before making a request of me. Too bad, so sad.  Guess you’re not going to get your prayer answered this time.”  God cares more about speaking from the heart than He cares about the specific words or the way that we pray. He wants us to pour our hearts out to Him and be just honest.  He wants us to just be ourselves with Him. God already knows what we think and feel anyway.

“The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].” James 5:16 (AMP)  

Want powerful and effective prayers? Don’t be fake.

It’s the earnest and heartfelt prayers that are the powerful and effective ones.  For me, it’s such a turn-off when I hear prayers that sound so fake and ingenuine.  Prayers like…

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When and Where to Pray

Get tips here to know when and where to pray...

When and Where to Pray

In a previous post, we talked about the why’s of praying and the many reasons for the importance of prayer.  This week I’d like to share some about when and where to pray.  This by no means is a legalistic list of do’s and don’ts, but rather some food for thought or general guidelines to think about as you establish your own prayer routines.

Pray without ceasing…an ongoing conversation

As far as WHEN to pray, there really are so many options!  You can pray when you wake up, when you go to sleep, before meals, during quiet times, in the shower, in the car, anytime, or all the time.  The important thing is to find time.

I remember having an epiphany or an “aha” moment in college.  I read the scripture 1 Thessalonians 5:17 which states to “pray without ceasing” (some versions say pray continually, pray constantly or never stop praying).  Growing up, my regular (and really only) prayer times were before meals and at bedtime.  This new insight allowed me to realize that there is really no certain or right time to pray.  God wants to talk to me all day!  I just need to pray all the time.

That’s when I started having a daily, ongoing conversation with God.  I still had regular and more formal times to pray, but more often than not I would just talk to God throughout the day.  This idea of an ongoing conversation (kind of like an invisible friend walking beside me all day long) gave me the freedom to have a friendship and real relationship with God.  I didn’t even say “amen”—it was literally an unending conversation all day long (sometimes out loud and sometimes silently in my head).

I often tell people, “if people could see me when I’m alone they’d think I was crazy—talking ‘to myself’ all the time.”  At least nowadays there’s Bluetooth and earbuds, so as far as they know I might just be on the phone! The point is, you don’t always have to be formal in prayer.  Just have an ongoing conversation with God.  You don’t even have to say “Dear God” and “Amen”. 🙂

Have a regular prayer time

Aside from ongoing prayer, I think it’s also important to have a regular time to pray.  Having a routine can be helpful.  I heard Beth Jones say once, “You can pray anytime, but HAVE a time.”  A regular, routine time to pray will strengthen your relationship with God.  Morning, noon, or night, God wants to hear from you and connect with you.

Morning, noon, and night I cry out in my distress, and the LORD hears my voice.” Psalm 55:17 (NLT) 

Pray when situations call for it

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15 Reasons Why We Pray

15 Reason Why We Pray...Learn the importance and reasons for prayer

15 Reasons Why We Pray

I’ve been on the receiving end of so many answered prayers.  I cannot even begin to count the prayers that God has answered, both big and small.  From… Eric getting out of a military assignment that would have taken him away for over 12 months soon after we were married, to having a happy, healthy baby after a miscarriage, to financial provision right when we needed it, to something as simple as finding lost car keys… God has proven faithful time and time again.  My only complaints would be that God’s answers to my prayers didn’t always come in MY timing 🙂, and sometimes His answer was not the answer I wanted or expected (at the time).  Over the years and after a lot of practice praying, I’ve discovered the importance of prayer and the many reasons why we pray.

I am a firm believer in the power of prayer.  So, I thought I’d share some of the reasons why we pray and the importance of prayer.  Then, in other posts we’ll discuss some of the logistics of prayer…when to pray, where to pray, what and how to pray, and even some of the hindrances to prayer.

We need to make prayer a regular part of our daily lives.  There are many reasons why we pray and why we should speak to God.  In order for any relationship to thrive, there MUST be communication.  Our relationship with God is no different.  It is imperative that we communicate with God on a daily basis.  I’ve come up with 15 reasons why we pray. Obviously, I’m sure there are so many more, but here are some excellent reasons to get us started 😉 …

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Are You Salty? Do You Have the Qualities of Salt? Part 2

Are you being salt and light? Do you possess these qualities of salt?

Are You Salty? Do You Have the Qualities of Salt? Part 2 of 2

Be Salt and Light

“You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” Matthew 5:13-16 (NLT)

“Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? You must have the qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other.” Mark 9:50 (NLT)

In Part 1 of this post, we talked about being salt and light in our everyday surroundings.  We discussed a few of the qualities of salt and how we could display some of those same qualities in our lives.  I’d like to pick back up this week with some more qualities of salt that we should model.

In the previous post we discussed the first five qualities, this week we’ll discuss the last five and how they serve as an analogy for how we should act:

Salt…

      1. Makes you thirsty.
      2. Adds seasoning, gives things flavor, and makes things taste good.
      3. Preserves.
      4. Has the power to change the environment around it.
      5. Serves as an electrolyte in our bodies.
      6. Mixes in and interacts with its environment.
      7. Promotes healing.
      8. Is sloughing or exfoliating.
      9. Stings but also soothes.
      10. Acts as a fertilizer to make things grow.

Value of salt

I actually learned something new when studying salt.  I knew salt was an extremely valuable commodity in ancient times, but I guess I just didn’t realize how much.  In fact, I learned that Roman soldiers even used to be paid in salt at times.  Apparently, that’s where the term “worth his salt” came from.  The word “salary” is even rooted from salt.  In the Old Testament, the Mosaic Law required that all offerings presented by the Israelites should contain salt (Lev. 2:13).  Many theologians say this was to symbolize purification and an enduring covenant (salt purifies and makes things last).

Since salt holds such value in history, that same value should still hold true today—especially in relation to how we should be like salt.  Let’s take a look at some more qualities of salt…

Some More Qualities of Salt:

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Are You Salty? Do You Have the Qualities of Salt? Part 1

Are You Salty? Do You Have the Qualities of Salt? Part 1: Learn some of the qualities of salt and how you can use these qualities to make a difference in the world around you & in your spheres of influence.

Are You Salty? Do You Have the Qualities of Salt? Part 1 of 2

Be Salt and Light 

“You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” Matthew 5:13-16 (NLT)

“Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? You must have the qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other.” Mark 9:50 (NLT)

Each college term I pray to be the kind of person that my students will look at and see as something different, somebody that stands out from their normal college professors.  I want them to see Jesus in me, without even knowing that I am a Christian.  I want to be what the Bible calls “salt”.

When I originally wrote this post a few years ago, I was so excited because I had such a great group of young women and men in my college classes.  It was really an answered prayer of sorts.  I spent a lot of time in prayer that previous summer for the students that I would be teaching that upcoming fall semester.  As is my habit, I prayed for God to place the right students into my classes, the students that I could really help and with whom I could make a difference.  Sometimes as a teacher it’s hard to tell if I’m making a difference or getting through.  From the bottom of my heart, I want to speak into their lives and make a lasting impact.  I want to be that “salt” in their lives.

Opportunities to be salt

That following fall I had some pretty amazing, strong Christians, many of them already possessing some of the qualities of salt.  This is sometimes rare on a public college campus—to have strong Christian students that speak outright about their faith.  I could already tell that they are going to do something big someday!  They are going to be powerhouses for the kingdom of God and I feel so honored to play a small role in their lives.

My friend and fellow praying mom, Gwen, pointed out that it’s pretty cool that I would get an opportunity to speak into the lives of these students in a different way.  I got a chance to impact their walk with God and their influence on others.  I got to have conversations with them on a different level.  There were opportunities to teach them and show them how to be salt in action.  It was like on-the-job training!

Explaining how NOT to be salt

That semester I had a conversation after class with a few of my students. A couple of them mentioned that I was the only Christian professor that they had (which is not unusual for a public college).  We had some discussions about classmates, friends, and professors who are not Christians, and we spoke about opportunities to walk out our Christian faith in a potentially adversarial environment.

Some of them were struggling with people who disagreed with their beliefs and lifestyle. We talked about it being pointless and even counter-productive to argue with people who don’t have the same beliefs we do.  I told them we can sometimes do more harm than good if we try to coerce, force, or convince people of our beliefs (more about that here).  Actually, I encouraged them NOT to do this for that very reason, even though it’s in our nature to do so.  I told them that it was a hard lesson I had to learn, myself, as a student because I tend to be pretty vocal.  Those of you who know me well are probably snickering right now thinking that I just made a massive understatement. 🙂

I explained the importance of letting their life (what they do and how they act) speak louder than their words.

*Click here to read more about letting your life and actions speak louder than your words here.

“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:1-4 (NIV)

or said another way…

“…Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words…” 1 Peter 3:1 (NLT)

But first…relationship

I’ve learned from experience that it’s actually more effective to live a life of example, be a role model, and show love.  Pastor Whitney George said something once at church that has always stuck with me.  He said, “You have to win people to yourself before you can ever win them to the Lord.”  In essence, before you can truly speak into the life of another person you have to have some sort of relationship or rapport there.

So then our first goal must be to win people to us….we must love them first.  Serving and loving on people is the best thing that we can ever do for the kingdom of God.

“Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37-39 (NLT)

Walk the walk, not just talk the talk

We discussed that it’s actually more effective to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.  We need to teach others about Jesus by our actions.  Let our lifestyle and deeds speak for us.  People should be able to tell we are Christians without us even saying a word.  There should be something different about us.  We should have Jesus’ face shining in ours.  People should see light in our faces.  People should like us and not even know why.  We need to follow the instructions of Jesus and be salt and light to the people we come across in our lives.

“You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” Matthew 5:13-16 (NLT) 

“Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? You must have the qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other.” Mark 9:50 (NLT)

In order to be like salt, we need to learn some of the qualities of salt, how we can be like them, and start putting them to work.

Some Qualities of Salt:

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Everyone Needs a Warm Fuzzies Folder…

Everyone Needs a Warm Fuzzies Folder...

Everyone Needs a Warm Fuzzies Folder…

A few years ago, I was talking with a friend and fellow blogger/speaker, and she was telling me about a note that her son wrote and stuck in her lunch bag (a bit of role reversal!).  She was telling me it was one she would keep.  I shared with her how I have a “Warm Fuzzies Folder” that I keep for just such items.  She informed me that I MUST blog about this folder and the need for everyone to have one. 🙂

An idea from a former boss

I can’t take credit for the idea of the Warm Fuzzies Folder.  When I was a college advisor, a former boss of mine actually encouraged me to make one.  A student that I had advised gave me a nice note.  Their note stated how much they had appreciated me and how much I had encouraged and helped them in their college career.  I shared the note with my boss because that token of gratitude had really made my day and meant a lot to me.

When I showed it to her she said, “You need to put that in a Warm Fuzzies Folder.”  I replied with, “A Warm Fuzzies Folder?  What’s that?”  She then asked me to follow her to her office where she pulled open a desk filing drawer and pulled out a folder labeled “Warm Fuzzies”.  Then she told me that the Warm Fuzzies Folder was a place where she kept items that people had given her that had made her have a warm and fuzzy feeling inside—things that made her happy and smile.  She told me that it was important to keep those items so that I can go back to that folder on hard days for some encouragement. 

I’ve kept a Warm Fuzzies Folder ever since!

I took her advice and have kept a Warm Fuzzies Folder ever since!  Actually, I have a couple now.  I have one for tangible items like cards, notes, and even some old homework assignments from some of my students.  Now, I also have a digital Warm Fuzzies Folder on my computer to save e-mails, digital photos, or even nice comments that people have put on my blog.  I can’t tell you how much it helps to refer back to those on days when I question why I do what I do…teach, blog, etc.  On those days when I get hateful reviews, comments, or complaints, I can go back to those warm fuzzies, get encouraged and remember that I really do make a difference for some people.

Some examples

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How to Make Positive Affirmations Out of Scripture

Learn How to Make Positive Affirmations Out of Scripture...

How to Make Positive Affirmations Out of Scripture

We do positive affirmations at our house on a regular basis.  I’ve shared before (here and here) how they have helped me overcome insecurity.  They help me to sleep better at night.  Daily positive affirmations have also been a part of the morning drive routine for my kids as we headed to school to help them face the day ahead and to build their faith.  The way we make our positive affirmations is by saying what God says about us.  We do this by taking specific scriptures and then just turning them into a statement using words that describe us… “I am…I have…I will…etc.”  Scriptural positive affirmations said aloud are very powerful.  This week I’d like to share with you how to make positive affirmations out of scripture.

WHY we use positive affirmations…

We use and say positive affirmations because they make a difference.  I’ve always been a huge believer in the power of words.  The Bible says that “death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit” in Proverbs 18:21.  I believe there is significant truth in speaking things into existence.  In Romans, the apostle Paul calls it “calling into being what does not yet exist” (Romans 4:17 Berean Study Bible).  Modern science or psychology might consider positive affirmations coming into existence as a self-fulfilling prophecy.  The theory is that a positive (or negative) prophecy or statement, when declared as truth even though it may presently be false, can adequately influence people in order that their responses will eventually fulfill the original statement, prophecy, or positive affirmation.  In other words, our words affect and influence our actions.

Scripturally speaking, I believe this is true because our words also affect our beliefs.  The Bible says that faith comes by hearing (Romans 10:17), particularly when we hear the Word of God.  The more we hear something the more we believe it and the more it sinks down into our hearts, especially when it’s coming from our own mouths.  According to James 3:2-5, our mouths/tongues (and the words that come from them) are to us like the bit is to a horse’s mouth or like the rudder is to a ship.  Even though they are small parts (just like our tongue is a small part), they control, guide, and steer the whole body.  So then can our tongue (our words) guide our body and our lives and change the outcomes thereof.  Therefore, the ability to effectively control our words is a vital life skill. 

Why we use SCRIPTURE in positive affirmations… Continue reading

Praise is a Weapon

Praise is a Weapon... This is how I fight my battles!

Praise is a Weapon

I heard somebody say once that praise is a weapon. After some study and ongoing confirmation and conviction, I truly believe that now even though I never would have thought of it that way before. To me, it’s always felt very counterintuitive and contradictory to offer up praise if I’m in the middle of a fight or battle.

However, I’ve learned that praise will silence the enemy, give us strength and lighten our load, and save us from our enemies. Therefore it’s an effective weapon. We can fight the enemy and even our own negative feelings with praise. Praise creates an atmosphere for the Holy Spirit to work and move and for God to answer prayers.

“Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.” Psalm 8:2 (NIV)

“To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” Isaiah 61:3 (NKJV)

“I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” Psalm 18:3 (ESV)

Praise is a weapon that is different from other kinds of weapons

It’s both a spiritual offensive and a defensive weapon. God has given us different kinds of spiritual weapons to use. They are stronger and more powerful than any weapon of this world with which we might do battle. Praise as a weapon might seem unnatural but it IS supernatural.

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” 2 Corinthians 10:4 (NIV)

We praise in and by faith

Praising in the middle of a battle DOES seem counterintuitive and contradictory. We praise when it doesn’t make sense to do so because we have faith in the power of God. Praise is a weapon of faith—it’s a fight of faith. We praise in spite of the circumstances surrounding us.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

“Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” 1 Timothy 6:12 (NIV)

“Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!” Habakkuk 3:17-18 (NLT)

Praise is often a sacrifice and act of surrender

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