Category Archives: Communication

Pray Without Ceasing

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Pray Without Ceasing: What does that even mean?

“Pray without ceasing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (KJV)

1 Thessalonians 5:17 tells us to pray without ceasing. Some translations of this verse say pray continually or pray without stopping. So what does this even mean? Does mean that I need to sit around for hours at a time praying? I don’t think so. I think this is more about turning our thoughts to God on a regular basis and just talking to him as we do this. To me what it all boils down to is this, to pray without ceasing just means to pray and talk to God throughout your day as an ongoing conversation. Prayer is not a religious ritual. Prayer is a conversation with our father and our friend, and it comes from a place of relationship not rigid or rote protocol.

Prayer is not a religious ritual.

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An “Aha” moment

In my previous blog post about When and Where to Pray, I wrote about how when I was in college I had a sudden realization after reading this verse that there is really no “certain” or “right” time to pray. Growing up, typically prayer times were before meals and at bedtime. I remember reading “Pray without ceasing” and having the thought that God wants to talk to me all day. I just need to pray all the time and not just before meals or bed.

From that point on, I started having a daily, ongoing conversation with God.  I still had regular and more formal times to pray, but more often than not I would just talk to God throughout the day.  This idea of an ongoing conversation gave me the freedom to have a friendship and real relationship with God.  I didn’t even say “amen”. It was just an unending conversation all day long.

Sometimes I imagine this like talking to an invisible friend walking beside me (because he kind of is!). It doesn’t even have to be out loud, but it can be. Sometimes I find myself praying out loud without realizing it. You can imagine some of the strange looks I might get. I remember one time I was walking in the kitchen feeling really frustrated, drained, and overwhelmed. Slightly under my breath (or so I thought), and in a bit of a growl, I pleaded to God saying, “Sustain me”. My husband, Eric apparently overhead. He laughed as he jokingly asked me if I was demon-possessed because all he heard was a growling sound and what he thought was a “SAVE ME”. We got a good laugh about that!

To pray without ceasing just means to ongoing conversation with God.

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Some examples of what “pray without ceasing” might look like on an average day for me

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Promote Unity

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Promote unity

In last week’s post we talked about God’s desire for unity among his people and his intentions and will for us to be peacemakers. We discussed how that if God desires unity, then we can expect opposition from Satan striving to instigate division and strife. The devil will set up some very tempting traps that can easily and sometimes unknowingly lure us right into division. We previously discussed some ways to evaluate ourselves and our intentions in order to avoid Satan’s traps of engaging in divisive behavior. In this post we’ll address some practical ways to create and promote unity and how to avoid activities or communication that would produce strife or division.

This is by no means an exhaustive or comprehensive list of all of the possible and effective strategies for promoting unity. However, these are a few practical things that we can each start putting into practice right now in our everyday lives as we engage with others. We can all do better to engage in and promote unity with the people we encounter both in person and online.

Unity IS possible…because of Jesus

First we need to realize that the ability to have and promote unity is possible. There can be unity in and because of Jesus Christ. He took two very opposing groups of people and created unity. With Jesus it is possible to remove hostility and bring peace.

“But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ. For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us. He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations. He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups. Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death.” Ephesians 2:13-16 (NLT)

I loved this quote that I read in one of my Bible reading plans:

“Unity is a keystone element of Jesus’ work on the cross. You have likely experienced the devastatingly divisive power of sin. Sin separates us from God and from each other. But at the cross, Jesus demolished the divisive power of sin. That is why the whole point of Christ’s work was to reconcile that which was pulled apart.

Stories from the book of Acts also show us that God’s work multiplies unity. In so many places throughout Acts, powerful moves of God are associated with believers being of one heart and mind. This unity was not only of a spiritual nature, but also a tangible and visible unity with solutions to real-world problems.

…God is looking for opportunities to multiply unity, because work done in unity among the people of God releases the power of God.”[1]

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A keystone, like unity, holds things together

It mentions that “unity is a keystone element”. A keystone is the central stone at the top of an arch that holds and locks it all together. Keystones reconcile or bring two sides together holding them in a stable position. God did this kind of reconciling on earth through his son, Jesus. Because of what Jesus did we were united back to God and can be united back with people. Operating in unity and peace instead of division, strife, and hostility IS possible!

Love can create and promote unity

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Are You Creating Unity or Division?

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Are You Creating Unity or Division?

The theme of “unity” has come up quite a few times over the past year or more in my readings, journaling, and prayer time. It’s not surprising due to the fact that there has been so much division in the world these days. So many things keep us divided…politics, racial issues, public health issues, gender and sexual identity/orientation issues, theology issues, etc. We truly are a broken world, and only God can mend and unite. He is the source of all unity, and he truly desires unity, not divisiveness.

Unfortunately some of the nastiest and most divisive people are Christians, which I believe saddens God. He wants us to be known by our demonstration of love.

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35 (NIV)

I decided to compile my journal notes and scriptures on the matter to write about after experiencing and seeing some divisive interactions myself this past week. This week we’ll look at what God’s heart is on the matter of unity and some ways to measure our hearts and motives against scripture. In the next post, we’ll look at some practical ways to promote unity.

Divisive interactions

I’ve written before that I unfortunately get a lot of hateful emails and comments on my blog, many of them from Christians. I received yet another divisive comment last week (which was not approved/posted since it didn’t adhere to my comment policy). The comment seemed to serve no other purpose than to attempt to cause strife, division, and condemnation. It was definitely not helpful, encouraging, or promoting peace or love in any way to myself or my readers.

Additionally, I saw some other passive-aggressive comments responding to a photo that Beth Moore had posted on Instagram. It was a cute photo that her daughter had taken of her dog crammed in a chair behind Beth while she was trying to read her Bible. Someone had replied with a couple of comments about posting pictures of yourself reading your Bible, indirectly insinuating that maybe these are not genuine and that it puts focus on yourself instead of on God. These comments stirred up quite a storm of conflict, especially amongst Beth Moore’s fans against this commenter. Bam! Division! Strife created; unity gone.

I found myself asking, “Why do people do this? Why do they feel the need to say something…to correct or condemn others…to give their two cents? Do they genuinely think that their comments and interactions are helpful? Do they not see how this fuels a fire of conflict and division? Why do people get sucked in?”

It’s a trap of the devil that so many of us can easily get lured into.

Divisiveness and disunity are a trap of the devil that so many of us can easily get lured into.

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Avoid the trap

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Gratitude Prompts

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Gratitude Prompts

Everyone is into challenges these days. We see things going viral on social media because people are challenging others to do something. I recently saw something that said “gratitude challenge” where the person was challenging others to write down 3-5 things a day that they are thankful for and to do this for 30 days. She discussed some of the benefits she had personally received from this in her own life and wanted to encourage others to experience some of these same benefits. I’ve written previously about some of the benefits and ways of showing gratitude (previous posts here and here).

Gratitude has the ability to change our hearts and our outlook. Something happens when we can shift our mind off the negative things around us and intentionally focus on what we have to be thankful for. I’ve discovered that when I’m thankful, things around me seem brighter, and I focus less on what’s wrong and more on what’s good and right. Additionally, when we choose to see God’s provision, it makes it hard to be frustrated by all the ways we feel like we’re lacking something in the moment.

Thankful people tend to be happier people. Several years ago I read a good article about the benefits of gratitude. It stated that studies show that gratitude has the ability to make us healthier both physically and mentally, to enhance resiliency to stress, to increase levels of joy, pleasure and happiness, and to reap social benefits.[1]  In essence, people who can stay thankful year round are happy, healthy and prosperous people!

It is also God’s will for us to be thankful and have gratitude.

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NLT)

So maybe a gratitude challenge isn’t such a bad idea after all! We have to be intentional and CHOOSE to be grateful. It will take some purposeful and deliberate energy on our part. Sometimes it can be difficult, especially in the midst of hardship, to think of things to be thankful for. Therefore, here are some gratitude prompts to get you thinking about things you can be thankful for.

Thankful people tend to be happier people. Gratitude has the ability to change our hearts and our outlook.

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Take Some Practical Steps to be Thankful by Using These Gratitude Prompts:

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Don’t Be a Know-It-All—Humble Yourself

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Don’t Be a Know-It-All—Humble Yourself

As a teacher, I’ve had my fill of know-it-alls in my classes. So many people give the impression that they have nothing new to learn or have no room for improvement. Many often want to share what they know and tell their personal stories, as if graciously imparting their own wisdom onto the teacher and listeners. They are the expert in their eyes. There’s a lack of humility, and most of the time they don’t even know it.

I was praying for a difficult student one time. She was a bit of a know-it-all, frequently interrupting me and others to share her own insight and stories. It often seemed like it didn’t even occur to her that she might need to learn what was being taught. I realized that some of the things she was doing were things of which I have also been guilty. Isn’t interesting how we can see some of our own flaws pointed out in others? (See Practical Step #2 in this post) As I was praying for God to humble her I realized that I too need to be humbled. Boy was that humbling! 😉

However, praying “Humble me” can be a dangerous prayer! It can potentially invite in embarrassment, looking bad in front of others, having our wrongs being made evident, or being put in our place. This can be especially hard if you’re a people pleaser or care to much about what people think about you. We might know that we need to be humbled but might not be quite ready to go through the humbling process just yet!

Don’t avoid the need to be humbled in order to be a people-pleaser

Even though the humbling process might be difficult or even embarrassing at times, we shouldn’t avoid asking God to humble us (or humbling ourselves) because of how it might make us look. Self-image should not be a determining factor nor should attempts to please others. Our aim should always be to please God, even if there’s a cost.

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 (ESV)

“It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the LORD, you are safe.” Proverbs 29:25 (GNT)

“For they loved human praise more than the praise of God.” John 12:43 (NLT)

“You like to receive praise from one another, but you do not try to win praise from the one who alone is God; how, then, can you believe me?” John 5:44 (CEV)

“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” Colossians 3:23 (NLT)

Don’t be a know-it-all!

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7 Ways to Cope With an Annoying Friend

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Learn 7 ways to cope with an annoying friend...

7 Ways to Cope With an Annoying Friend

**Updated: Originally posted 5/5/2015

I’ve discovered with age that people tend to get on my nerves a lot more.  I don’t like people as easily as I used to.  Quite frankly, I have less patience to put up with people’s crap.  This has sometimes made it difficult for me to create relationships with people that annoy me.  I went through a period several years ago where I was having to relearn how to be a friend.

It was actually kind of weird and awkward.  I always considered myself a person who makes friends easily.  I had a lot of friends in high school, in college, and at work.  Unfortunately though, due to seasons in life, transitions, and seasons of friendships, there was a period where I found myself with fewer close friends than I used to have.  I just assumed making close friends would be easy, a piece of cake.  I had a wake-up call–it wasn’t!  It takes work.  I had to be a lot more intentional and purposeful about it.

Something I learned was that I had to put myself out there and step outside of my comfort zone a lot.  I had to place myself in settings where making and cultivating friendships was possible.  Through that process there were a lot of people that I just flat-out didn’t like.  They were annoying!  Who wants an annoying friend?  Therefore, I would immediately write a lot of people off…

Annoying friend alert!!  She’s a know-it-all (imagine a loud buzzer sound here)

Annoying friend alert!!  She talks too much (buzzer sound again)

Annoying friend alert!!  She talks like an immature teenager (another buzzer sound)

Annoying friend alert!!  She’s selfish, always wants to do things her way, interrupts me all the time, brags too much… (buzzer, buzzer, buzzer)

Common denominator

I’m sure you get the picture.  I could go on and on about why I decided someone would be an annoying friend.  The thing is, it seemed like anyone I met somehow got on my nerves.  Then I realized… Continue reading →

Apologizing Doesn’t Remove All Consequences

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Apologizing Doesn’t Remove All Consequences

Apologizing Doesn’t Remove All Consequences

**Updated: Originally posted 11/22/2016

A few years ago my son and daughter were arguing after church. Surprise. Surprise. Why do kids argue over the stupidest things? My daughter had actually won a prize at church, a giant Pixy Stix. They started arguing over if she would share or not. When she went to put her coat on before we walked out to the car she needed someone to hold her Pixy Stix. She wouldn’t hand it to her brother but to me instead. Apparently he got mad because he was “trying to help her”. I’m sure he had other ulterior motives too. So he spouted off in a hateful tone, “I was just trying to help you! You’re a piece of crap!”

After I picked my jaw up off the floor at the nastiness that just spewed out of his mouth, I quickly informed him that we DO NOT talk like that to people. I also advised him that he would definitely not be getting any of that Pixy Stix now.

When we got to the car I made him do the 4-step apology (or as we call it now, “apologize the right way”). We had some further, lengthy “discussion” about his attitude and the ease with which he flung his verbal assault. After some conversation, the tension ceased. Something else lighthearted created peace between the two siblings again; for the life of me I can’t remember what it was now.

Then, I had that motherly 6th sense as I was driving. My daughter, the forgiving soul that she is, gave her brother some of her Pixy Stix candy.

So hollering behind me…

Me: “Are you eating some of that Pixy Stix?!”

My son: “Yes, she gave me some.”

Me: “I told you NO Pixy Stix.”

My son: “But I apologized and she forgave me.”

Me: “Apologies don’t delete consequences. Just because you said you were sorry doesn’t mean that your punishment disappears. Just because she forgave you doesn’t make the hurt you caused her disappear.”

Then I remembered an exercise that I sometimes do with my classes to demonstrate a point. Continue reading →

What Does the Bible Say About Apologizing?

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What Does the Bible Say About Apologizing?

Someone recently said to me that you can’t find someone saying “I’m sorry” anywhere in the Bible. In all honesty, it’s an accurate statement…to an extent. Those exact words may not have been used (depending on the translation you use). Even so, I had never heard the word “yeet” until my teenagers started using it this past year (insert rolling eyes and face slap). Although the exact words “I’m sorry” might not be mentioned in scripture, there most certainly is much discussion about confession (to God and others), repentance, seeking forgiveness, and making peace. The terminology and exact wording may just look a little different.

So what DOES the Bible say about apologizing?

Apologizing requires humility

Apologizing takes humility, and humility is a character that God greatly values! When we humble ourselves and apologize to others (which can almost always be extremely difficult to do), we are showing honor and respect to those we have wronged. Apologizing comes from a humbled heart, and God honors and favors this trait.

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”” James 4:6 (NIV)

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.” James 4:10 (NLT)

“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”” 1 Peter 5:5 (NIV)

“Though the LORD is great, he cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud.” Psalm 138:6 (NLT)

“The LORD mocks the mockers but is gracious to the humble.” Proverbs 3:34 (NLT)

“Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor.” Proverbs 29:23 (NLT)

“But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Matthew 23:12 (NLT)

Apologizing consists of confess your sins and making reconciliation

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