Category Archives: Conflict Resolution

Why Christians Get Offended When Jesus Gets Attacked

This past week, I tried to convey to one of my classes why Christians get offended sometimes, at least from my perspective. I wanted to share a little insight about why this might get so heated from a Christian perspective...

Why Christians Get Offended When Jesus Gets Attacked

Recently in my college classes we discussed diversity issues and how they can affect us in college and in life. One of the exercises we do in class is called “Examining Your Own Prejudices”. It involves each student taking an index card and anonymously writing a couple of sentences about a group of people that they have the most difficulty with. I then read each of the cards aloud, and we have a class discussion about them. We talk about where these prejudices come from, how to prevent stereotyping an entire group based on them, how to work with groups with which we have difficulties, and so on.

It’s usually a pretty controversial, yet enlightening exercise. It never fails…in each class I’ve taught there is usually a card mentioning a problem that someone has with Atheists (or non-Christians). There’s also a card or two listing Christians as the problem group. These two types of cards have a tendency to bring on the most discussion, sometimes heated. It’s often because Christians get offended and hurt by some of what’s said.

This past week, I tried to convey to one of my classes why Christians get offended sometimes, at least from my perspective. I wanted to share a little insight about why this might get so heated from a Christian perspective, and why we get so hurt when people speak badly of Jesus. I shared with them a note I had typed into my phone a while back.

Imagine a friend showing up at the worst time of your life

Imagine that you go through the hardest time of your life. You end up meeting this friend, Continue reading

When You Are Wronged, Stay On God’s Side

When You Are Wronged, Stay On God’s Side. Here are a few steps to do so...

When You Are Wronged, Stay On God’s Side

With the recent events (fatal police shootings, protests and riots) going on in our nation, and even in my hometown of Tulsa, I’ve been pretty disheartened lately. I hurt for the mistreatment of human beings. It’s upsetting to see the blatant disrespect for authority. My heart breaks for those who have lost loved ones. I hurt for those who are making poor choices that will forever change their lives and the lives of their families. It’s discouraging to see those who are blinded by the devil’s lies.

I have felt my heart breaking for all sides. My spirit is heavy that there are even “sides” to begin with. Then, which “side” is right? Maybe both? Maybe neither? I’ve come to the conclusion that there is only ONE right side: God’s side. If we side with God, we will never go wrong.

I was very torn about whether or not I should even write about these current events for fear someone would believe that I’m taking sides. Quite frankly I don’t want to even begin to speculate who was right or who was wrong. From where I stand, I can probably find rights and wrongs on both sides. Nevertheless, I wasn’t there. I wasn’t personally involved. I don’t have all the facts. However, God WAS there. God DOES have all of the facts. We will never go wrong when we look to and lean on Him for guidance and answers. I know it sounds all flowery and pretty and is much easier said than done. Regardless of how difficult though, it’s the right thing to do. So I guess I AM taking a side. I’m taking God’s side.

Personal reflection

As I spent time reading my bible and listening to podcasts over the past week, parts of the story of David kept coming up here and there. I know enough by now to pay attention to repeated themes because more often than not, it’s God speaking to me or trying to get a message across to me. I prayed and asked God if He was trying to tell me something. Nothing came to mind at that moment. So I wrote a note in my journal: “David—repeated theme”.

I continued to spend a lot of time in prayer for and about the recent shootings, protests and riots. I’ve prayed for our leaders, for godly justice to be done, for the families, for wrong mindsets, and for the overall situation in general. Additionally, I even asked God, “How do we fix this? Where do we even start?” Then, I heard in my heart, “Look at David.” My next thought was “Ooooh…THAT’S why David keeps coming up!” After that I thought, “Wait a minute. David? What does David have to do with anything that’s going on in our country right now?”  The answer… Continue reading

Scriptures About Speaking To Others And Knowing What To Say

Here are some scriptures about speaking that will help you with what to say to others.  Use these scriptures as a prayer for help on figuring out the right thing to say or as a positive affirmation that you will say the right things at the right time.

Scriptures About Speaking To Others And Knowing What To Say

Sometimes not knowing what to say to others can be very intimidating. Often we find ourselves in situations where we might have to have a difficult conversation or confrontation. Occasionally, we might even have to defend ourselves from time to time. Some situations are less serious, and we just need some wisdom or guidance on saying the right thing or clearly communicating a message. Fortunately, I have found some scriptures about speaking that I like to turn into a prayer request depending on my need at the time.

Personally, I’ve spent a significant amount of time in prayer using these scriptures about speaking to ask for God’s help to say the right thing at the right time. They also help me to ask for help to clearly explain something. Actually, I pray many of these verses before I write a blog post as well because I truly want my posts to be God-led, clearly explained and contain information that will help anyone who reads them. I also use these scriptures before a difficult conversation or confrontation when I know I’ll need to tread lightly and when the right words are so important. I even use them to help me discern when to keep my mouth shut! Lastly, I always want the words that come out of my mouth to only mirror what God would say.

I’d like to share some of my go-to scriptures for speaking that I use when I’m in these types of situations. Some I have found on my own with research on the topic. Others have been shared with me by close friends when I’ve reached out for prayer. My hope and prayer is that you might find a few go-to verses for yourself that help you know what to say when you are at a loss for words or need a little help. 

Scriptures about speaking the right words and having the right timing: Continue reading

Adults Can Be Bullies Too

Adults Can Be Bullies Too

Adults Can Be Bullies Too

I’m going to tell on myself this week. 🙂 I had a lesson in dealing with adult bullies and therefore had the opportunity to show my kids a real-life example of how to deal with bullies.  We’ve talked recently about responding to people who offend you and scriptures to help when you feel attacked or persecuted.  Sometimes the best way to respond is not to respond.  However, there are times when a response is helpful and/or necessary.  I felt like I encountered one of those times this past week.

I had an altercation in the parking lot at my son’s school this past week, but it didn’t start there.  To give you some background, there has been a lady that has caused a variety of problems all school year.  In my opinion, she is an adult bully.  I had never talked to her (and honestly didn’t even know her) up until this point.  We see her almost every morning at school drop-off, and we always notice her.

There are a few reasons she stands out.  One reason is that every morning she has a dog that sits in the front seat of the car and barks incessantly with an ear-piercing sound with its head sticking out of the open window.  We can actually hear it while we are driving down the road, even though our windows are up!  She’s also very noticeable because she has driven pretty erratically on occasion—or as my kids would say, “She’s a crazy driver!”  Frequently, she does not follow the school’s drop-off procedure to only drop your kids off at a certain, designated location (so as not to block traffic).  Each morning she instead ignores this sometimes inconvenient procedure, and she drops her kids off at the front door which holds up and blocks traffic behind her prohibiting anyone else from being able to pull in to drop their kids off until she moves out of the way.

Last, but not least, she stands out because she has been known on SEVERAL occasions to honk at drivers in front of her, myself included.  There is a particular route to school that has an intersection where it is extremely difficult to make a left-hand turn during the busy morning traffic.  If she has to wait too long at that intersection she starts honking.  Last week was no different.  I was at the intersection attempting to turn left.  She was in the car directly behind me (I knew because I heard the barking dog!).  Due to the high volume of traffic, I was having a difficult time turning left.

One thing you should also know about me is that I’m a “better safe than sorry” kind of person when driving, especially if I have my kids in the car.  I know this probably irritates some people because I don’t get in a hurry—to me it’s not worth the risk.  I guess to this lady it is worth the risk, because she started honking in a series of small honks at first.  She also kept moving forward acting as if she would hit me with her car if I didn’t hurry up and go.  Then, she proceeded to lay on the horn with a nonstop blast when I refused to rush in front of an oncoming school bus that had briefly stopped at a railroad crossing.  I was getting a bit flustered at this point.  I rolled my window down and waived my hand backward as if to say “stop it!”, and I pulled out after the school bus had passed.  I shook my index finger out the window as I drove on.  You know…kind of a “shame on you” type of move.

I decided right then that I was not going to put up with her bullying any more.  Continue reading

Funny Friday: No Offense

No offense...

Funny Friday: No Offense

I thought this was humorous and fitting since we talked about people offending you earlier this week!  So true…Why do people say “No offense” just before they’re about to offend you?

“For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.” James 3:2 (KJV)

Top 10 Posts of 2015

Happy, Healthy & Prosperous Top 10 Posts of 2015

Top 10 Posts of 2015

“Remember the wondrous works that he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he uttered” Psalms 105:5 (ESV)

This week I’m sharing the Top 10 Posts of 2015I like to take the first of the year to recount some of the top or most popular posts of the previous year.  I like to share them for a couple of reasons…

First, there are several new subscribers/followers who may not have seen or read these posts and might find some of them to be helpful.

Secondly, looking back also helps me to remember what God has done and is still doing through this website (that I oh-so-reluctantly started…and sometimes still reluctantly continue!).

Lastly, it helps me (and hopefully you too) know how to pray based on what the current need or demand is, and when I know that I know how to continue to pray for others.  For example, 3 of the most popular posts have to do with leading someone to Christ or praying for someone to come to Christ.  For starters this makes me SUPER excited to know that people are actively seeking these types of websites out.  To me this means that the body of Christ is continuing to grow, and I know to continue to pray for the people who have come across these posts to have boldness to lead someone to the Lord and to agree in prayer with them that their unsaved loved ones will be saved and grow in their relationship with God.  Another example, is that the posts about being unloved and unwanted are overwhelmingly popular…which makes me so sad to know that there are so many people feeling unloved and unwanted.  I continue to pray that they will know and fully experience the love of God and of others.

Take Some Practical Steps:

  • As you look through this list of most popular posts, please take a minute to pray for one or more of the topics that stand out to you (like my examples above).
  • Please click on and read or re-read one or more of the posts from which you feel you may be able to receive some benefit or of which you might need some reminding.
  • Pay it forward…if one or more of the following posts has benefited you, please forward it/them to others you feel they may benefit (you might prayerfully consider who to share them with), or consider sharing them on your social media channels (sharing links are available at the end of each post).
  • Lastly, please pray for me this year to #1-continue to help others, #2-for me to have to right words at the right time, and #3-for the right people to be directed to my site for God to help them.

Top 10 Posts of 2015

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Unmet Needs and Expectations in Relationships

Learn more about Unmet Needs and Expectations in Relationships...and how to evaluate them

Unmet Needs and Expectations in Relationships

My sister just shared a story with me that she saw on Facebook, and I’d like to share it with you here too.  I didn’t write this story, and unfortunately I do not know the author in order to give due credit.  You may have already heard or read this story because it has been reposted on the internet a number of times over the past few years.  It’s a story of unmet needs and expectations in marriage.  I loved it so much because I think so many people can relate.

A Story of Unmet Needs and Expectations…

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite. His lack of sensitivity and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who can’t even express his predicament. What else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me, “What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right–it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered, “Here is the question. If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind. Let’s say I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?” He said, “I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass on the dining table near the front door, that goes… “My dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further…” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. Continue reading

Top 10 Posts of 2014

Happy, Healthy & Prosperous: Top 10 Posts of 2014

The New Year is here!  We had a stellar year in 2014 (of course with ups and downs).  This time last year this blog was just a passing thought in my head.  OK…it was actually a suggestion command from God that I reluctantly accepted over several months (didn’t get my site up and running until July!).  Overall, though I’m so glad I obeyed God.  I feel honored to be used to speak into the lives of people and hopefully share a little bit of insight of practical ways to achieve Godly success in a variety of areas.  This past week I did a year-in-review and checked on my site’s progress.  This week, I thought I’d share the Top 10 Posts of 2014 with you in case you missed any or would like to revisit them.

TOP 10 POSTS OF 2014:

  1. What Does Your Price Tag Say? A Message on Self-Worth…

    What Does Your Price Tag Say? A Message on Self Worth...

    Top 10 Posts of 2014 #1

Our value is not determined by labels that others put on us or by even by labels we put on ourselves.  This post gives some resources and tips on overcoming the negative labels we wear and some tips for creating new ones.

  1. 9 Common Causes of Insecurity

    9 Common Causes of Insecurity

    Top 10 Posts of 2014 #2

Most people deal with insecurity in one form or another.  This post addresses 9 common causes of insecurity with examples of each in scripture.  I share some of my personal struggles with insecurity.

  1. How to Apologize Effectively

    How to Apologize Effectively

    Top 10 Posts of 2014 #3

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