Dealing With Those Who Have Been Deceived
Last week we discussed that as we near the coming of Christ and the end times, we are going to see an increase in people who are being deceived or are believing lies…either from other people, from Satan, or from their own personal desires. Deception is becoming more and more prevalent these days and will continue to do so according to scripture.
“Now the Holy Spirit tells us clearly that in the last times some will turn away from the true faith; they will follow deceptive spirits and teachings that come from demons.” 1 Timothy 4:1 (NLT)
“For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths.” 2 Timothy 4:3-4 (NLT)
Unfortunately, we even see deception taking hold of our family members, friends, or other people in our sphere of influence. It’s very hard to see someone we love or care about being deceived and believing lies. It’s especially difficult when they seem so far gone and are not receptive to hearing or discussing the truth.
There is a proper way to engage with or deal with people in the midst of deception. Unfortunately, our initial reaction or human nature is not typically the best way. It will take some intentionality and purpose to interact in a God-honoring, productive, and helpful way. Regrettably, I have not done this very well lately, hence my purpose in writing this post…to resolve to do better and help others do the same.
Take Some Practical Steps When Dealing With Those Who Have Been Deceived:
First, pray for God to help you when engaging or interacting with those being deceived.
It’s tempting to get irritated or angry and sometimes even feel shocked, surprised, and dumbfounded. You may need God’s help to get out of your own emotions before you can deal appropriately with someone being deceived. You might need to ask God to soften your heart first. Then, ask God to help you have his perspective and to see them and the situation as he does. Pray that God would give you the right words to speak only when necessary and to help you stay quiet when necessary. (Refer to this link for other helpful scriptures on knowing what to say.)
“Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3 (NIV)
For I will give you the right words and such wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to reply or refute you!” Luke 21:15 (NLT)
“…don’t worry about how to respond or what to say. God will give you the right words at the right time.” Matthew 10:19b (NLT)
“Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” Colossians 4:6 (NLT)
“Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.” Proverbs 13:3 (NLT)
Next, listen before responding.
You can’t expect them to listen to you if you don’t listen to them. Listening to them does not mean that you have to agree with them. Listen with the intent to understand. Attempt to understand their heart and where they are coming from before making judgments. Avoid “listening with your answer running” (i.e. thinking about what you’ll say next while they are still talking).
“The one who gives an answer before he listens– this is foolishness and disgrace for him.” Proverbs 18:13 (HCSB)
**“Answering before listening is both stupid and rude.” Proverbs 18:13 (MSG)
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19 (NLT)
“When words are many, sin is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” Proverbs 10:19 (BSB)
“A man of knowledge restrains his words, and a man of understanding maintains a calm spirit.” Proverbs 17:27 (BSB)
“Does our law condemn a man without first hearing him to find out what he has been doing?” John 7:51 (NIV)
Then, have empathy, and validate and affirm the good in those that are being deceived.
When we’ve listened first to understand their heart, we often see that intentions are good. Affirm, applaud, and celebrate their desire for good (i.e. whatever led them into the deception in the first place…whether it be for justice, for freedom, for rights, etc.). These are good things to fight for, although maybe misdirected. Their true desire may very well be to do the right thing, and they very well may believe they are doing that. That part should be affirmed and acknowledged. You can recognize and point out that we are all on the same side of truth and justice. We all want to do the right thing.
Affirming the good is a much better start than being dismissive, minimizing, shaming, or ridiculing. If you ridicule them or attempt to make them feel stupid, either intentionally or unintentionally, you may very well disqualify yourself from them being able to receive any wisdom from you, even when you are revealing the truth.
Avoid comments like…
“That’s crazy.”
“I can’t believe you would believe such a thing.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Are you insane?”
“Are you serious?”
“Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up.” Romans 15:2 (NIV)
“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
“Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on his opinions.” Romans 14:1 (BSB)
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)
Be loving, kind, and show respect. Find a peaceful common ground instead of focusing on the area of disagreement or deception.
It’s imperative as Christians that we always engage with love, kindness, respect, and with a heart of peace. We should not be nasty nor react and communicate in anger, and we should make every effort to live in peace.
These are all basic scriptural principles for ANY kind of communication and ways that we, as Christians, are called to act anyway, at all times and in all situations. It may just be helpful, however, to have this reminder as we confront deception and deal with people who are being deceived or fully believing lies.
“Love one another warmly as Christians, and be eager to show respect for one another.” Romans 12:10 (GNT)
“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” John 13:34 (NLT)
“Respect everyone, and love the family of believers. Fear God, and respect the king.” 1 Peter 2:17 (NLT)
“When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you…Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ.” Ephesians 4:29, 31-32 (NCV)
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)
“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” Colossians 3:12-15 (NLT)
“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 (NKJV)
“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NIV)
“People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.” Proverbs 14:29 (NLT)
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14 (NIV)
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18 (NIV)
“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” Romans 14:19 (NIV)
“Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? You must have the qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other.” Mark 9:50 (NLT)
“When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some.” 1 Corinthians 9:22 (NLT)
Do not be argumentative.
There are times when no amount of truth, logic, or reason will make a difference. Those who are being deceived are truly blinded and will often not listen to or accept reason, even if and when their own reasoning seems foolish to us. There will be no convincing them (at least on your own). It may take some divine intervention. Fight the urge to fight back. Care more about the person than about winning an argument or about convincing them that they are wrong or deceived.
“Do everything without complaining and arguing” Philippians 2:14 (NLT)
“…and not say cruel things or argue. They should be gentle and kind to everyone.” Titus 3:2 (CEV)
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” Matthew 7:6 (NIV)
“Don’t waste your breath on fools, for they will despise the wisest advice.” Proverbs 23:9 (NIV)
“Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are.” Proverbs 26:4 (NLT)
Gently redirect to the truth when possible (again, without arguing).
Encourage critical, rational, and logical thinking. Point to the truth and encourage fact-checking amongst reliable and credible sources. Additionally, the scripture, God’s word, is truth and should also be used as a measuring stick. If anything opposes or contradicts scripture, it is NOT the truth.
“Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.” John 17:17 (NIV)
“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”” John 8:31-32 (ESV)
“Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth.” 2 Timothy 2:25 (NLT)
“My friends, if someone is caught in any kind of wrongdoing, those of you who are spiritual should set him right; but you must do it in a gentle way. And keep an eye on yourselves, so that you will not be tempted, too.” Galatians 6:1 (GNT)
“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect” 1 Peter 3:15 (NIV)
“…and not say cruel things or argue. They should be gentle and kind to everyone.” Titus 3:2 (CEV)
Then, pray for them.
At some point, you may have to let them go and hand them to God. It’s not all on you. It is not your job to fix them or convince them of the truth. You are not their Holy Spirit. Hand the control back over to God. Pray for them.
When we deal with people who are deceived or believing lies, we should recognize (like in Ephesians 6:12) that there is sometimes more going on behind the scenes than we might realize. It’s not always the individual. Sometimes there are spiritual forces behind the deception. It’s spiritual warfare. That’s how we should fight back too…in the spiritual realm. We need to go straight to the source. We can do this with prayer and by using our God-given authority.
Last week I shared a Prayer for Those Who Are Being Deceived with scriptures upon which the prayer statements are based. Prayers, and specifically praying scripture, are extremely powerful and produce results (see James 5:16)! Visit the link above to see the individual statement prayers along with the scripture references that you can pray, or see the collective prayer below.
Prayer for Those Who Are Being Deceived
Lord, I believe _____ is being deceived. Protect _____’s mind, and help him/her to take every deceptive thought captive make it obedient to Christ. Transform him/her by changing the way he/she thinks in order to know and do your will. Keep Satan from outsmarting him/her, and help him/her to recognize his evil schemes. Help _____ to submit his/herself to God and resist the devil and his schemes so that he will flee. I pray that you will open _____’s eyes and turn him/her from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God. Stop Satan from blinding his/her mind. Remove any scales and blinders from his/her eyes because I know you have the power to open the eyes of the blind. Guide _____, and open his/her eyes to know and see the truth, and let the truth set him/her free. I pray that he/she stops believing a lie(s). I pray that the eyes of his/her understanding would be enlightened. Reveal the lies, deception, and those things that are hidden or concealed. Keep _____ from being deceived, from others or even his/her own thinking. Help him/her not to believe everyone who claims to be a Christian or speak on behalf of God. Give him/her wisdom to discern what and who he/she should listen to. Keep _____ from following deceptive spirits and teachings, and help him/her to only listen to sound, wholesome teachings and to listen to and recognize your voice and no other. Protect him/her from people masquerading as teachers who are confusing him/her with a misleading, counterfeit teaching. Let no one deceive _____ in any way with any kind of empty words or philosophies or well-crafted arguments. Keep him/her from being influenced by tricks and lies that are so clever they sound like the truth. Don’t let him/her be carried away by strange or divisive teachings. Right now, I rebuke false prophets, teachers, or spirits that would secretly bring in destructive lies. Keep _____ from being fooled. Protect him/her from wolves that come in sheep’s clothing. Keep him/her from believing and wasting time on conspiracy theories, myths, and meaningless speculations. Let him/her have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies that breed quarrels. Help him/her to test what he/she is hearing, reading, thinking, or believing to see if it’s actually from you. Your word says that a tree is known by its fruit. Help _____ to look for the fruit and evidence instead of believing a lie. Keep _____ from being the fool who thinks his/her own way is right, and show him/her to be wise by listening to the advice and counsel of others. I ask these things in Jesus’ name, and I thank you that _____ will no longer be deceived.
Finally, don’t lose hope.
Truth can prevail, deception can be thrown off and put away, and the Holy Spirit and renew thoughts and attitudes. Be patient. It may take a little time for their eyes to be opened and for them to clearly see and believe the truth.
“Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.” Ephesians 4:21-23 (NLT)
“So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.” 1 Peter 2:1 (ESV)
“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9 (ESV)
“I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:1-4 (NIV)
What has helped you successfully deal with someone who has been deceived? Share it with us by leaving a comment below!
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