Don’t Be Surprised When People Hate You image

Don’t Be Surprised When People Hate You

Lately, I’ve come across some opposition in a variety of areas. Unfortunately in some of those instances I’ve had to deal with a fair amount of disrespect. It’s been so frustrating because I feel like I’ve handled everything right by correcting in love, affirming and pointing out the good, yet firmly setting boundaries. Even in the midst of showing love, help, and support, I received disdain in return. “Hate” is the word reverberating to me, and that hurts because I’ve done NOTHING to deserve hate. I am legitimately surprised when people hate me. After all, I’m a pretty likable person!

Then one day, after some prayer (and a good amount of tears) I remembered that Jesus experienced undeserved hate. He told us we should expect it too. We shouldn’t be surprised when people hate us.

“And everyone will hate you because you are my followers.” Luke 21:17 (NLT)

“And all nations will hate you because you are my followers. But everyone who endures to the end will be saved.” Matthew 10:22 (NLT)

“And everyone will hate you because you are my followers. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.” Mark 13:13 (NLT)

“Hear this message from the LORD, all you who tremble at his words: “Your own people hate you and throw you out for being loyal to my name. ‘Let the LORD be honored!’ they scoff. ‘Be joyful in him!’ But they will be put to shame.” Isaiah 66:5 (NLT)

“Yes, and everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.” 2 Timothy 3:12 (NLT)

“They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good.” 2 Timothy 3:3 (NLT)

When people hate you…Welcome to my world

During that time of prayer one morning, it was almost like Jesus said, “Welcome to my world. Don’t be surprised when people hate you. If you want to be my follower and have an impact and be an influence for me, you’re going to have to get used to it.”

I started to get a sense that if I wanted to grow in my influence, I needed to be prepared to grow in my opposition. As I dug into scripture, I also got a sense that it wasn’t going to get any better with the direction the world is heading.

2 Timothy 3 addresses how people will act in the last days. Looking over these verses in a few different translations (see below), I saw behavior familiar to what I have been dealing with, specifically some of the combative, malicious, slanderous, and disrespectful to authority behavior (even in people claiming to be Christians).

If you want to grow in your influence, be prepared to grow in your opposition.

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When people hate you, you might be seeing some of the effects of the last days

“You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!” 2 Timothy 3:1-5 (NLT)

“They will become addicted to hateful and malicious slander. Slaves to their desires, they will be ferocious, belligerent haters of what is good and right. With brutal treachery, they will act without restraint, bigoted and wrapped in clouds of their conceit.” 2 Timothy 3:3-4 (TPT)

“For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents [authority], ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness [claim to be a Christian], but denying its power. Avoid such people.” 2 Timothy 3:2-5 (ESV) [supplements mine]

“holding to a form of [outward] godliness (religion), although they have denied its power [for their conduct nullifies their claim of faith]. Avoid such people and keep far away from them.” 2 Timothy 3:5 (AMP)

Be faithful–endure anyway

After explaining some of the behavior people will have in the last days, Paul goes on to tell Timothy that persecution and mistreatment are inevitable but to endure anyway. Therefore, we, too, must remain faithful to the things we have been taught.

“Yes, and everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. But evil people and impostors will flourish. They will deceive others and will themselves be deceived. But you must remain faithful to the things you have been taught. You know they are true, for you know you can trust those who taught you. You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:12-17 (NLT)

Correcting people makes them hate you (especially the foolish ones)

Throughout scripture we see evidence that people DO NOT like to be corrected. Standing for the truth and correction will cause some people to hate you.

“Mockers hate to be corrected, so they stay away from the wise.” Proverbs 15:12 (NLT)

“So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise, and they will love you.” Proverbs 9:8 (NLT)

“A wise child accepts a parent’s discipline; a mocker refuses to listen to correction.” Proverbs 13:1 (NLT)

“Do not speak to a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words.” Proverbs 23:9 (BSB)

“For you refuse my discipline and treat my words like trash.” Psalm 50:17 (NLT)

“They hate the one who reprimands [the unrighteous] in the [court held at the city] gate [regarding him as unreasonable and rejecting his reprimand], and they detest him who speaks [the truth] with integrity and honesty.” Amos 5:10 (AMP)

“Have I now become your enemy because I am telling you the truth?” Galatians 4:16 (NLT)

Those who hate correction will have consequences

We shouldn’t lose heart though. The bible shows us that people who reject correction will have consequences. We are to endure, keep standing for truth, and keep correcting within our realm of authority.

“I called you so often, but you wouldn’t come. I reached out to you, but you paid no attention.

You ignored my advice and rejected the correction I offered. So I will laugh when you are in trouble! I will mock you when disaster overtakes you—when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster engulfs you like a cyclone, and anguish and distress overwhelm you.” Proverbs 1:24-27 (NLT)

“They rejected my advice and paid no attention when I corrected them. Therefore, they must eat the bitter fruit of living their own way, choking on their own schemes.” Proverbs 1:30-31 (NLT)

“You will say, “How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings! Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers? Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors? I have come to the brink of utter ruin, and now I must face public disgrace.” Proverbs 5:12-14 (NLT)

“To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction.” Proverbs 12:1 (NLT)

“Whoever abandons the right path will be severely disciplined; whoever hates correction will die.” Proverbs 15:10 (NLT)

“If you get more stubborn every time you are corrected, one day you will be crushed and never recover.” Proverbs 29:1 (GNT)

So what are we to do?

We can find some biblical wisdom and instruction on how to respond in the following verses.

“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you.

“If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return.

“Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.” Luke 6:27-36 (NLT)

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.” Matthew 5:43-48 (NLT)

Take Some Practical Steps When People Hate You:

First, when people hate you, pray for them.

Prayer is a powerful weapon and can make a difference in the lives of those who hate you or mistreat you. Here’s a post you might find helpful on praying for your enemies.

“Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:28 (NIV)

“But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” Matthew 5:44 (NLT)

“Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Matthew 18:18 (NIV)

Secondly, when people hate you, bless them and love them.

The Greek word used in scripture for “bless” is ”eulogeo” which means to praise or celebrate, to ask God’s blessing on a thing or to consecrate with prayers, or to speak well of. Doing any or all of these things is blessing them.

“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” Luke 6:27-28 (NLT)

“But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” Matthew 5:44 (NLT)

“If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them water to drink. You will heap burning coals of shame on their heads, and the LORD will reward you.” Proverbs 25:21-22 (NLT)

“Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them.” Romans 12:14 (NLT)

“Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.” 1 Peter 3:9 (NLT)

Then, when people hate you, forgive them.

This one might be a little more difficult, and honestly is more for YOUR benefit than theirs. However, by the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit living inside of you, forgiveness is possible. It’s not excusing their offense or behavior but merely releasing them to God’s hands (for HIM to administer appropriate consequences) and letting go of any ill-will or malice that you might be harboring.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:13-14 (NLT)

“Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” And the soldiers gambled for his clothes by throwing dice.” Luke 23:34 (NLT)

“Good sense and discretion make a man slow to anger, and it is his honor and glory to overlook a transgression or an offense [without seeking revenge and harboring resentment].” Proverbs 19:11 (AMP)

Next, when people hate you, let God avenge you.

This goes along with the previous step of forgiveness. In forgiving, you are trusting God to avenge you instead of trying to do the job of “punishing” on your own. (He’ll do a better job anyway!) Just know that God is a god of justice, and He WILL avenge you. Trust Him.

“It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.” Deuteronomy 32:35 (NIV)

“Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you.” Proverbs 20:22 (NIV)

“Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the LORD.” Romans 12:17-19 (NLT)

“For we know him who said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” and again, “The Lord will judge his people.”” Hebrews 10:30 (NIV)

“The Lord is a jealous and avenging God; the Lord takes vengeance and is filled with wrath. The Lord takes vengeance on his foes and vents his wrath against his enemies. The Lord is slow to anger but great in power; the Lord will not leave the guilty unpunished. His way is in the whirlwind and the storm, and clouds are the dust of his feet.” Nahum 1:2-3 (NIV)

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31 (NIV)

Finally, when people hate you, after you have done the above steps (pray, bless, love, forgive) don’t expect anything in return.

Pray, bless, love, and forgive unconditionally. Be careful of your expectations. You may not always get to see the fruit of the seed you sow. The LORD will reward, not necessarily them. So even if they don’t respond well, keep praying, blessing, loving, and forgiving.

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” Luke 6:32-35 (NIV)

“If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.” Matthew 5:46-47 (NLT)

You may not always get to see the fruit of the seed you sow.

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Don’t Be Surprised When People Hate You