How to Feel More Secure About Your Appearance

One of the 9 common causes of insecurity that we previously discussed was feeling insecure due to appearances.  This is an issue for BOTH men and women alike.  It only takes a few commercials or print advertisements to figure this one out.  A majority of them are marketing our appearance—clothing, hair, accessories, makeup, fitness/body image.  I shared how this one was a major issue for me too after my Miss Oklahoma pageant experiences and dealing with some infidelity in many of my relationships growing up.  I always felt like I could never measure up to those “other girls” or to the “ideal body image”—like I would never be as pretty or as fit.

Most of us already know that our appearance is not something that should make us feel insecure, but the reality is that it does.  So how do we overcome this?  Below are some mentalities that will help…

Ways to feel more secure about your appearance:

Know that you’re not alone (the majority of people are conscious about their appearance—dating back thousands of years).  Apparently this is also an issue that crosses the ages.  Image and appearance were important to the “women of old” too.

“Bezalel made the bronze washbasin and its bronze stand from bronze mirrors donated by the women who served at the entrance of the Tabernacle.”  Exodus 38:8 (NLT)

I found this verse interesting because if there were mirrors, then obviously people cared about what they looked like.

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT)

If they had to be told NOT to be concerned about outward appearance, then evidently it was an issue.  In a weird way, this was somewhat comforting to me to know that it’s not just a modern problem.  It would seem the devil struck people of all times with issues of insecurity—especially in appearance.

Recognize that the root of feeling insecure about appearance is pride.

“Your heart was filled with pride because of all your beauty. Your wisdom was corrupted by your love of splendor. So I threw you to the ground and exposed you to the curious gaze of kings.” Ezekiel 28:17 (NLT)

Satan was one of the most beautiful creatures, but it filled him with pride.  Too much focus on outward appearance and beauty will make us prideful.  

On the flipside, it is also a form of pride to insult our appearance. We are in essence, saying that we don’t like the job that God did and that we could have done a better job.  In a weird way, we are putting ourselves in the place of God.  I shared more about this in a previous post, You Are a Masterpiece.

“No, don’t say that. Who are you, a mere human being, to argue with God? Should the thing that was created say to the one who created it, “Why have you made me like this?” Romans 9:20 (NLT)

Know that no matter what you do, beauty fades.  Don’t let it define you.  There are more important things than your appearance, things that don’t fade.

“Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but a woman who honors the Lord should be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 (GNT)

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT)

Eventually, every one of our bodies will wear out.  Even the appearance of the most beautiful humans on this planet will eventually fade.  Then what is left?  What if the supermodel or hot actor had a horrendous car accident and went face first through the windshield leaving a map of scars across his/her face?  Would they then no longer be beautiful?  Does their appearance define them?

Know that God doesn’t judge by appearance.

“But the lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the lord looks at the heart.”” 1 Samuel 16:7 (NLT)

“He will delight in obeying the lord. He will not judge by appearance nor make a decision based on hearsay.” Isaiah 11:3 (NLT)

The old cliché is true—it’s what’s on the inside that matters.  What’s in our heart determines our beauty.

  Did you know that the bible even said that Jesus was just average looking?!  That blew my mind!

“My servant grew up in the lord’s presence like a tender green shoot, like a root in dry ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him.” Isaiah 53:2 (NLT)

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I think it’s important to note that while we shouldn’t base our worth and security on appearance, it’s still important to have a healthy balance.  It’s also not good to go to the other extreme and not care at all what we look like.  Remember…we are supposed to be the face of God to others around us.  Sometimes we are the only “Jesus” that people see.  

Would Jesus be proud of how we are representing him?  Our bodies are the house of God.  We need to take care of them.  How do we prepare our own home for an important visitor?  We clean it up and make sure it looks nice, right?  We pull out the best.  We would never entertain company in a messy, uncared for home.  Likewise, we should take care of ourselves.  It’s okay to try to look our best!  We just have to be cautious of not going in the other ditch by putting too much emphasis on our appearance.

Take some practical steps:

• See if any of the mentalities that we mentioned above resonate with you, and think about that the next time you get in a funk about how you look.

• Use some of the positive self-talk that we previously discussed.  A good friend of mine once told me to wake up every morning and look in the mirror at myself and say, “Wow! You’re good looking!” Give it a try! 🙂

• Do what IS within your power to look good and feel better about yourself (within reason—REMEMBER: BALANCE!!).

• True beauty lies within–Do a heart checkup.  What would God say about your heart condition?

• Finally, remember that God uses the unlikely.  He can even use our flaws (more on that later)!

What are some things that have helped you to overcome insecurities due to appearance?  What tips/advice do you have?  Leave a comment below (or click on the post link to join the conversation if you’re viewing through e-mail). 

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