How to Overcome Insecurity Caused by Fear-Part 1
Many of our self-esteem issues are rooted in fear—fear is a very common cause of insecurity. We often shy away from things that cause us fear. We are hesitant to put ourselves out there because we fear what will happen. These insecurities hold us back from accomplishing great things. In the bible, ten of the twelve Israelite spies were afraid to enter the land that God had promised them, and because of their fear they remained in the desert for another 40 years. They didn’t see themselves as God saw them—as formidable conquerors who had God on their side. Fear kept them from continuing on toward what God had already promised them.
“But the other men who had explored the land with him disagreed. “We can’t go up against them! They are stronger than we are!”” Numbers 13:31 (NLT)
Any fear that we allow to take hold of us can actually alter our identity and prevent us from seeing ourselves the way God sees us. Fear will cause us to see ourselves as flawed and imperfect—which we are, BUT fear allows that image of ourselves to limit what God wants to do through us. God wants to use us in spite of our flaws, imperfections and mistakes (see this post here for more). If we will allow Him, God can push us through circumstances that seem impossible, and He can even do it in a way to where those things that cause us fear can actually work to our advantage!
God can overcome any fear—Here are a few examples (click reference to read a related verse):
- Fear of not being enough–2 Corinthians 3:5, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
- Fear of the unknown–Isaiah 46:9-10
- Fear of other’s opinions–Galatians 1:10, Romans 8:31
- Fear of harm–Psalm 91, Psalm 121:7, Luke 10:19
- Fear of failure–Philippians 4:13, Romans 8:28, Joshua 1:8
- Fear of rejection–Matthew 10:14, Ephesians 1:11
- Fear of not being loved/wanted–Ephesians 3:16-21, John 3:16
- Fear of losing something–2 Thessalonians 3:3, Joel 2:25
- Fear of being alone–Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5
- Fear of bad things happening–Psalm 23:4, Psalm 91
Take Some Practical Steps to Overcome Insecurity Caused by Fear:
- Walk right into your fears not away from them–Fight fear by doing “it” afraid. Joyce Meyer is known for and has coined the phrase “Do It Afraid!”. Courage is not the lack of fear but of fearing something and moving ahead anyway and pushing into and past the fear.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela
The more experience you get, the more times you do things afraid, the easier it will get and the braver you will begin to feel. Your fears will be conquered, and you will develop confidence and self-esteem. You will start to identify yourself as “brave” and as an “overcomer” because you have experienced that. Your insecurities will slowly be alleviated.
- Believe and trust in God and HIS abilities instead of in your own efforts. Fear comes from not trusting. To get rid of fear, you have to trust. Learn to trust in what will never fail you—God. We can trust God because He has a good plan for us, He has our very best interest at heart, and He loves us. The bible says perfect love (God’s love) casts out fear.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18 (NKJV)
Adopt the attitude or mantra of “Maybe I can’t but God CAN. If God is with me, then I can too. I can because God will help me.” You will build confidence by putting confidence in God and HIS abilities and resources not your own. Stop making excuses for what you can’t do and put your hope and confidence in God and what He can do.
But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NLT)
“Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10 (NIV)
Fully trust in God to alleviate fear and the insecurities that come with it. Just let go. You have to learn to lean onto God, like a trust fall. You can’t fully trust if you’re still holding on. You have to let go of control. The more you lean back and get off of your own feet, the more you have to trust the person holding you. On your own feet you still have control, but the further you lean back the less control you have. You relinquish control to the person holding you up. God will hold you up.
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (NLT)
Be sure to read the next post for some more practical steps to fight fear in How to Overcome Insecurity Caused by Fear-Part 2.
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Tracy, maybe this is a little out of topic. But how can we understand about God’s will for us? i’ve been strugling /w the feeling that i may have done somehing out of his plan and it sadden me so much
Hi Michelle,
First let me say, don’t beat yourself up too much if you feel like you’ve done something out of God’s will or plan. We ALL have “shoulda, coulda, woulda’s”. I screw up all the time! 🙂 The cool thing I’ve learned is that I can never mess up so much that God can’t fix it or even use it. God can turn anything around. (I wrote about that in “Mistakes Can Turn Into Success” if you want to see an example in the bible.) Romans 8:28 says “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” So if you know you’ve messed up, repent (admit it, apologize and don’t do it again), and then ask God to fix it or work it out to be something good.
As for understanding God’s will, I’ve learned that the best way to learn and understand God’s will is by reading the bible. Romans 12:2 says “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Other versions say “renewing your mind…to discern what God’s will is”. We renew our mind by reading the bible. God’s will or plan will NEVER contradict what the bible says (for example, God’s will is never for someone to have an affair because the bible clearly calls that adultery, which is a sin). I’ve also learned that I can ask God to show me what His will or His plan is. So first I pray (i.e. God, please help me to understand your will and plan in this area…). Then secondly, I just spend some time reading the bible (usually just in my regular daily quiet times), and I try to pay attention to anything that stands out. A lot of times God will answer my question (usually not right away though) in some of the verses I read. A recent example was about a person that I was trying to help. I felt that as a Christian God wanted me to show love and help them, but they just kept coming back being extremely hateful, rude, argumentative, and even mocking God. I still felt really bad for the person though because I felt like they just needed somebody to show them love and help them to understand how God works. I wasn’t sure how to continue with this person, so I prayed about it. I then kept coming across verses in my reading time that said things about scorners or scoffers, and this person kept coming to mind every time I read those words. I believe that was God trying to show me that this person was being a scorner/scoffer. Then I kept coming across verses about how to deal with a scorner/scoffer–which was basically to ignore them or cut them off. So that’s what I did. I still pray for this person, but I believe that God showed me that His will was for me to let this person go (so I would stop getting hurt) to allow them to be reached in a different way. I had already played my part, and God had different plans from that point on. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that God showed me what to do and how to handle the situation when I was reading scripture (and getting ideas or thoughts as I was reading). I personally think and find that is the best way to understand what God’s will or plan is. Finally, as a last tip or piece of advice, I’ve also learned that when you don’t know what to do, it’s best to just wait and don’t do anything at all (at least not yet…not until you have a better idea or a peace about the matter). I hope that helps!