“Test Me”…Caution: Invites Harsh Conditions

Test Me-Caution Invites Harsh Conditions title image

“Test Me”…Caution: Invites Harsh Conditions

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” Psalm 139:23-24

I’ve mentioned before that it’s a good practice to start your quiet times or Bible reading times with these verses in Psalms as a prayer:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” Psalm 139:23-24

It’s a great way to do a regular heart check and listen for God to reveal anything to us that we might need to work on. I actually have these verses written inside the cover of my journals as a daily opening prayer. First, I’ll pray these verses. Then, I’ll try to sit quietly and just listen and pay attention to anything that comes to mind. If something does, I’ll confess it right then and repent, asking God to basically clean me up!

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10 (ESV)

Recently I saw Psalm 139:23-24 from a different perspective and realized that there might be a little more to this request than just sitting and listening for God to show me areas that need some work or improvement.

“Test”: Hebrew (H974) בָּחַן bâchan

A couple of weeks ago as I was going through this process of saying the verses, the words “test me” stood out to me. That’s usually a prompt for me to dig in a little deeper. So I did! I looked up the Hebrew word for “test” used here in this verse.

“test”: Hebrew (H974) בָּחַן bâchan

The Hebrew definition stated that it means to try, improve, examine, scrutinize, tempt, try/trial, to investigate, or to test (especially metals). Then the part about testing metals stood out to me. Immediately an analogy came to mind.

We like to watch the show “Forged in Fire” on the History Channel where they make weapons, typically knives and swords, out of metal. Throughout the show, which is a competition, they test the weapons (and therefore the metal). This testing phase is to see how the weapons hold up, to see where weaknesses or imperfections are, and to make sure the weapons can withstand use in battle.

Therefore, when I am praying Psalm 139:23-24 not only am I asking got to point out things in me that He doesn’t like, I’m also asking Him to test me like the metal of those weapons on “Forged in Fire” to find any flaws, weaknesses, and imperfections. These are things that may hinder me later which can cause me not to be able to fight any physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual battles properly. Additionally, weaknesses or flaws could potentially cause me to “break” if not identified and dealt with.

The “test me” phase

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Funny Friday: Our wireless doorbells

Our wireless doorbells meme

Funny Friday: Our wireless doorbells

My mom sent this meme to me recently. I wonder if the chime of these three wireless doorbells resemble the sound of the two of mine. I have a feeling they might not be quite as charming (**note the sarcasm**) as the bay of my beagle chime (which actually sounds more like a barking seal). The Amazon delivery person probably thinks we are running an indoor aquatic facility by the sound of our “doorbell”. 🙂

“Blow the trumpet in Zion; sound the alarm on my holy hill…” Joel 2:1a (NIV)

Do Not Resent the Good Fortune of Others

Do not resent the good fortune of others title photo

Do Not Resent the Good Fortune of Others

During the Christmas season I sent out an email to my subscribers informing them of a holiday hiatus. I unfortunately received a very hurtful and critical reply. After the holidays and vacation time, I prayed and thought about this exchange and felt like this would be a good, teachable moment for my readers. The lesson is on learning how to rejoice with those who rejoice and learning not to begrudge or resent the good fortune of others.

I’ll first share my initial email to my subscribers and the response I received. Then, I’ll share a reply to that response. After that, I’ll communicate what God put on my heart about the importance of celebrating the good fortune of others instead of being offended by it and what the posture of our heart should be.

My initial email sent out to notify I wouldn’t be posting for a while:

“Hello Happy, Healthy & Prosperous Subscribers! 

There will be no new teaching posts for the next few weeks. I’ll be taking a holiday hiatus! I’ll be in Europe for a bit to celebrate my 20 year wedding anniversary (so excited!!). It’s also my goal to make the most of the time with my kids and family to celebrate Christmas.  I encourage you to do the same!  Please don’t let the busyness of the season get in the way of your most important relationships.  Make the most of the opportunities you have while you still have them!

“How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil.  Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.” James 4:14-17 (NLT)

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:15-16 (NIV)

May you and your families have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

“The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26 (ESV)

I’ll see you again in 2020!

Tracy 🙂 “

A reader’s email response:

“Seriously have to flaunt your personal life? It’s such a snub to people who are single. Whatever.”

My reaction or reply to this reader’s response…

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Burn the Ships

Burn the Ships title image

Burn the Ships

A couple months ago I heard a song for the first time called “Burn the Ships”, by for KING & COUNTRY (video below). I got really excited to show my son the song because he had just told me the story about the Spanish explorer and conquistador, Hernán Cortés, who burned his ships to give his men motivation to fight. I never remembered learning about this story before.

He had actually learned it from his baseball coach this year. In fact, it’s one of the team’s mantras this year. You see, last year the team made the state playoffs but just missed making it to the championship game. This year their coach didn’t want that to hold them back. He said they need motivation just like Cortés’ men did in order to conquer the new land. They have to fight in order to survive.

For the baseball team, the metaphorical ships are their past (the past losses, being an ordinary team, almost winning, etc.). They needed to burn them down, get out of their shell, and fight as a team this year. To symbolize this, the team huddles up and shouts “1-2-3-BTS!” (BTS=Burn the ships) The back of their hoodies this year also say “Burn the Ships”.

Hernán Cortés-Burn the Ships

Cortés was said to have burned his own ships upon arrival in Veracruz, Mexico in 1519 to prevent the retreat of his men. This would send a clear message—that there was no turning back! After doing a little bit of research I discovered that Cortés, in fact, may not have actually burned the ships. There is some dispute about whether or not he burned the ships or instead sank, scuttled, or ran them aground. Additionally it is debated whether or not he actually spared one ship to send to King Charles V in Spain with a portion of the treasure from his conquest.

Regardless of the “how”, it is evident from history that the ships were indeed destroyed. Thus, the result and reasoning remain the same…to prevent retreat and ensure his men were committed to their mission. Cortés knew one thing: retreat is easy when you have the option. Therefore, to burn the ships is to cut all sources of retreat. Consequently he removed any obstacles that could potentially hold his men back from giving their full effort. The message? “Succeed or die. We are not leaving this place alive unless we win.”

A reminder to me

This reminded me of a particular time that I too had to burn the ships at one time. 10 years ago our marriage was in a deep and dark place, to the point of separation and divorce papers. It was very broken—beyond any repair that we could humanly do. Only by God’s grace, forgiveness, and power was our marriage restored.

Tattoo rings...symbols of what God has done

My tattoo ring is a reminder to me of what God has done in my marriage

We symbolically burned the ships when we literally burned our divorce papers. (I had a picture I was going to post of us burning them with fireworks on the 4th of July, but I can’t seem to find it.) My “ship” was divorce, and by burning that it took that option off of the table forever. Then on our 15 year anniversary, five years later, we re-committed with another symbolic (yet quite permanent!) declaration by getting tattoos on our wedding ring fingers as a reaffirmation of our vows.

Last month (December 2019) we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. The traditional “gift” for 20 years is china, so I made Eric a mosaic out of a broken piece of china of my grandmother’s. This mosaic represented how God made something new and beautiful out of something very broken. This was only possible because we committed to burn the ships and decided to look ahead to the possibility and promise of something new.

Mosaic china heart

Mosaic china label

Still need reminders on occasion

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Funny Friday: How a normal person tells a story

How a normal person tells a story meme

Funny Friday: How a normal person tells a story

Those who know me can attest to this all-too-relatable meme. When I tell a story, it’s never quick and you can definitely expect lots of context and detail!

“Jesus always used stories and illustrations like these when speaking to the crowds. In fact, he never spoke to them without using such parables.” Matthew 13:34 (NLT)

One Word for the Year

One Word for the Year

One Word for the Year

We’re currently mid-January of 2020. Statistically, within the next couple of weeks nearly half of people who made New Year’s Resolutions will have already broken them. Honestly, I haven’t done “official” resolutions for quite some time now, much for that reason. Instead for the past several years, I’ve approached the New Year in a different way. I come up with one word, kind of a theme word, to focus on for the year.

The idea is to come up with a one word vision to focus on for the entire year. I got the idea from a bible devotional that I read on my YouVersion Bible app, called “One Word That Will Change Your Life”. It was a quick, simple 4-day reading plan. “Change your life” was a bit of a dramatic claim. I can’t say I experienced any life-altering evolutions, but subtle changes, yes. I’m a firm believer that lasting change happens little by little anyway. However, it truly did change how I approached the New Year, and my focus truly did last all year as opposed to a fleeting and failing resolution.

How does a person pick their word for the year? Ideally, God will reveal your word to you as opposed to you just randomly picking one. However, I think that even if you struggle with determining if your “one word” is truly divinely inspired (as I did one year) or even if you just pick a word that seems good, I believe that God will work with that to teach, grow, mold, and change you over the year. Try to listen for God to speak to you about your word.

How I came up with my one word each year

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