7 Tips for Remembering Names

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Bad with names? Here are 7 Tips for Remembering Names...

Bad with names?  Here are 7 Tips for Remembering Names…

Do you know that feeling of panic when you see someone you know, but for the life of you, you can’t remember their name?  I’ve been there a few times.  I’ve typically done one of two things in this case.  I either try to carry on a conversation without even having to say their name and without admitting I forgot, or I go ahead and admit that I have completely forgotten their name, beg forgiveness and ask them to remind me.

Oh…there is a third thing that I hate to admit that I’ve done…just flat out hide and/or act like I don’t see them.  I know!  I know!  That’s terrible!  Don’t act like you haven’t done it though! 🙂  On the receiving end of this situation though, I think I’d really prefer the other person to just admit that they don’t remember my name.  I actually respect people more for this.  Remembering names can be tough!

It feels good to be remembered

It does feel really great though when someone remembers your name, especially if you don’t expect them to.  I had this happen recently.  I was volunteering at church and had to check in at the front desk.  The girl working there said “Tracy, right?”  That made my day!  I have probably only seen her a handful of times, and I don’t think we’ve actually ever had a conversation.  You also have to understand, we have thousands of people that attend our church and hundreds of volunteers, therefore making it extremely difficult for remembering names!  To me, it was highly impressive that she could remember my name.  It made me feel really good.

I’ve also been on the flip-side where I run into a person that has met me several times yet still doesn’t remember my name.  This makes me feel Continue reading →

Funny Friday: Whoever prayed for rain

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Whoever prayed for rain

Funny Friday: Whoever prayed for rain

My sister sent some “Oklahoma funny” to me the other day. For those unaware, we’ve had some incessant rains and some severe flooding recently. Some local comedian decided to post this funny sign, “Whoever prayed for rain please pray for my bank account”. 🙂

“Then, when he prayed again, the sky sent down rain and the earth began to yield its crops.” James 5:18 (NLT)

Are All Sins Equal?

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Are All Sins Equal?

Are All Sins Equal?

A couple of years ago at a church youth service we tackled the question, “Are all sins equal?” This brought up some interesting discussion, and honestly the answers were all across the board. Somehow all of us innately know that there are some grievances that are worse than others. We would be hard-pressed to try to convince someone else that a “little white lie” is just as bad as sexual abuse or murder. Even in the justice system there are levels and degrees of offenses…misdemeanors, felonies, first-degree murder, second-degree murder, etc. Some sins are just more severe, right?

However, is that how God sees it? Does God put more weight on one sin than another? Are all sins equal in God’s eyes? Answering and debating this question can put a lot of Christians at odds with one another, not to mention the conflict this argument can cause with non-Christians. One could take their arguments into opposite ditches. Some would argue that all sins are equal as a way to overlook the severity of certain sins or even as a license to sin. Others would argue that all sins are not equal as an attempt to single out certain groups of people in order to condemn them. Both ditches are wrong.

My goal today is to hopefully provide a little clarification and to give some additional resources to get more wisdom in this area.

Not a quick and easy answer

Unfortunately, I don’t believe this question comes with a quick and easy answer. If it did, here’s how I would respond…

Yes, all sins are equal in that ALL sins separate us from God, regardless of degree of severity. No, all sins are not equal in consequence or in the harm and damage caused to self and/or others. Yes, all sins are equal in that Jesus’ blood and sacrifice is enough to cover them all, each and every one, regardless of degree of severity.

Yes, all sins are equal in that ALL sins separate us from God, regardless of degree of severity. No, all sins are not equal in consequence or in the harm and damage caused to self and/or others.

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I love the way Michael Kruger differentiates between sins… Continue reading →

Funny Friday: Children Broth

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You used children broth? Funny Friday: Children Broth

My brother was smoking some meat on his new smoker the other day. Apparently “children broth” is the secret to keeping the meat moist. My brother is disturbed. 🙂 Just kidding! Gotta love autocorrect! #chickenbrothNOTchildrenbroth

“You must not worship the LORD your God the way the other nations worship their gods, for they perform for their gods every detestable act that the LORD hates. They even burn their sons and daughters as sacrifices to their gods.” Deuteronomy 12:31 (NLT)

 

How to Validate Others

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How to Validate Others

How to Validate Others

Updated Post (*originally published 8/14/14)

“A friend loves you all the time, and a brother helps in time of trouble.” Proverbs 17:17 (NCV)

Humans have a need for validation.   More recently I’ve become more acutely aware of this.  Some of you make be thinking, “What the heck does she mean by validate?  Isn’t that where you get verification of visiting someplace to get out of paying the parking fees?!”  Well, that’s one definition!  However, I’m talking about the kind of validation where we verify and recognize that a person’s feelings are indeed genuine and show understanding of those feelings.

I have been hurt by well-meaning friends, family and even my husband at times because they failed to validate my feelings about a situation.  Most of the time my feelings are either minimized or judged, and then I feel like there’s something wrong with me.  I HATE the emotion of leaving a conversation feeling worse than when I started.

Some wise advice

My sister, Shawna, said it perfectly once (she’s very wise 🙂 AND a very good validator by the way):

“Some people are not empathizers.  They are not gifted at seeing through other’s eyes or trying to feel through their feelings.  People often play the devil’s advocate, when all we need ‘in this moment’ is to feel understood, to feel someone try to comprehend our frustrations.  Sometimes playing the devil’s advocate is not what people need in their first moments.  Often they need to be understood first.  When you get your feelings out (and often out-of-the-way) THEN you can look at things constructively for purpose and dealing with the situation.”

See!  Isn’t she wise?  She hit the nail on the head.  Also, to validate someone does NOT mean that you have to agree with them or believe that they are right.  Most of the time people just need to feel heard, not that you agree with them. 

When you get your feelings validated THEN you can look at things constructively.

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When people are not validated properly, sometimes damage is done to a relationship.  Trust may be lost.  Emotional distance may be created.  A feeling of “safety” in pouring their heart out to you may dissipate.  If invalidation continues and becomes a pattern, the relationship may be replaced with another that does provide validation, or worse, the relationship may be severed completely.

Practical Steps–Follow these do’s and don’ts of validation:

Continue reading →

Are You Flexible When Things Don’t Go As Planned?

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Are You Flexible When Things Don’t Go As Planned?

Are You Flexible When Things Don’t Go As Planned?

I haven’t always been the most flexible person when things haven’t gone as planned. I used to get pretty bent out of shape usually displaying a bit of self-pity, irritation and thus irritability, and even a bit of a negative attitude that often lingers long after the incident has passed. Previously, I would just blame it on my personality. “That’s just how I am,” or “I’m just a very organized, structured person,” or “That’s just my OCD personality” (even though I’m not OCD nor should I be confessing/claiming that over myself).

However, I was pretty convicted after reading something that Joyce Meyer wrote in her book “Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind”. In the chapter on being positive Joyce said, “In Romans 12:16 the Apostle Paul tells us to readily adjust ourselves to people and things. The idea is that we must learn to become the kind of person who plans things but who doesn’t fall apart if that plan doesn’t work out.”[1]

“…readily adjust yourself to people and things…” Romans 12:16 (AMP)

For me, when things didn’t go how I saw them going in my mind, I would typically fall apart. I was not flexible nor did I “readily adjust” myself to my unexpected situations.

After reading what Joyce Meyer said and reading Romans 12:16 in the Amplified translation, I decided that it was time that I start making some changes. Becoming more flexible has been a very hard, but rewarding, lesson that I’ve had to learn over the past several years. I can’t say that I’ve quite mastered it yet, but I’ve definitely made some great strides in this area.

Be flexible–“Readily adjust yourself to people and things…” Romans 12:16 (AMP)

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Practice being flexible this week during my first day of summer class

This week was my first week of a summer college class that I’m teaching. The first day of class was riddled with a fair share of unexpected mishaps. However, can I just tell you how proud I was of myself in hindsight!

I was able to see a significant amount of progress in myself in how I handled the situation today versus how I would have responded 5-10 years ago. I remained surprisingly calm, was quick on my feet when responding to problems that arose, and kept a good attitude the entire time! Well, actually one thing did irritate me a little more than it should have, but I recognized it quickly.

Here are a few of the unexpected things I encountered on my first day of class: Continue reading →

Funny Friday: When you accidentally hurt your sibling

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When you accidentally hurt your sibling

Funny Friday: When you accidentally hurt your sibling

Does anybody else’s kids do this when they hurt each other?…”I’m sorry! You’re fine, you’re fine! Please don’t tell mom!”

“Your enemies will be right in your own household!” Matthew 10:36 (NLT)