Category Archives: Problem Solving

Heap Burning Coals on Their Heads?

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Heap Burning Coals on Their Heads?

Heap Burning Coals on Their Heads?

A couple of times over the past week or so I’ve come across the verses that mention the phrase “heap burning coals on his head”.

“If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.” Proverbs 25:21-22 (ESV)

“To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”” Romans 12:20 (ESV)

At first glance, it sounds a little ironic, like “be nice to be mean”. It almost seems a bit insincere as if we are doing good to our enemy in order to actually punish them in some way. However, through a little bit of further study I found some possible significance to the reference of “heap burning coals”, so I thought I would share my findings with you this week to give you some further understanding and insight as well.

A burning conviction

One possibility is that to heap burning coals on their head might mean to cause a sense of burning conviction. In a way, this will awaken a deadened conscience–think of stoking a fire to bring it back to life again. Being kind to them may cause them to feel shame or remorse for their behavior. An unexpected, undeserved, and merciful response might inspire a guilty conscience and assist in pointing out the error of their ways. At the very least, they should feel their sin more to the point of aggravating them.

Kindness and love bring in light which exposes sin and darkness.

“All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed.” John 3:20 (NLT)

“But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them” Ephesians 5:13 (NLT)

To heap burning coals could be to awaken a deadened conscience-Think of stoking a fire to bring it back to life again.

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Melt them into repentance

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Are You Flexible When Things Don’t Go As Planned?

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Are You Flexible When Things Don’t Go As Planned?

Are You Flexible When Things Don’t Go As Planned?

I haven’t always been the most flexible person when things haven’t gone as planned. I used to get pretty bent out of shape usually displaying a bit of self-pity, irritation and thus irritability, and even a bit of a negative attitude that often lingers long after the incident has passed. Previously, I would just blame it on my personality. “That’s just how I am,” or “I’m just a very organized, structured person,” or “That’s just my OCD personality” (even though I’m not OCD nor should I be confessing/claiming that over myself).

However, I was pretty convicted after reading something that Joyce Meyer wrote in her book “Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind”. In the chapter on being positive Joyce said, “In Romans 12:16 the Apostle Paul tells us to readily adjust ourselves to people and things. The idea is that we must learn to become the kind of person who plans things but who doesn’t fall apart if that plan doesn’t work out.”[1]

“…readily adjust yourself to people and things…” Romans 12:16 (AMP)

For me, when things didn’t go how I saw them going in my mind, I would typically fall apart. I was not flexible nor did I “readily adjust” myself to my unexpected situations.

After reading what Joyce Meyer said and reading Romans 12:16 in the Amplified translation, I decided that it was time that I start making some changes. Becoming more flexible has been a very hard, but rewarding, lesson that I’ve had to learn over the past several years. I can’t say that I’ve quite mastered it yet, but I’ve definitely made some great strides in this area.

Be flexible–“Readily adjust yourself to people and things…” Romans 12:16 (AMP)

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Practice being flexible this week during my first day of summer class

This week was my first week of a summer college class that I’m teaching. The first day of class was riddled with a fair share of unexpected mishaps. However, can I just tell you how proud I was of myself in hindsight!

I was able to see a significant amount of progress in myself in how I handled the situation today versus how I would have responded 5-10 years ago. I remained surprisingly calm, was quick on my feet when responding to problems that arose, and kept a good attitude the entire time! Well, actually one thing did irritate me a little more than it should have, but I recognized it quickly.

Here are a few of the unexpected things I encountered on my first day of class: Continue reading →

5 Steps to Fight Fear

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5 Steps to Fight Fear

5 Steps to Fight Fear

We just celebrated Mother’s Day here in the U.S. this past weekend. As I’m sure any mother could attest, there are a lot of joys to motherhood, but unfortunately there are some downsides too. As a mother, one of the things I’ve had to learn is how to fight fear. It’s almost laughable the things that could go through a mom’s head and the “what if” scenarios that frequently play out in our imaginations!

Learning to fight fear is not only something that comes in handy as a mother but it is also a skill that proves beneficial in all aspects of life regardless of your role. We all need to learn to fight fear. Today I thought I’d share some of my previous crazy mom fears with you in addition to giving you a few steps and strategies that have helped me to fight fear in hopes of helping you overcome your own fears.

Some of my crazy pre-mom fears

In a previous post, I mentioned that before even having kids I had fears about becoming a mom, to the point I used to swear off ever having kids. I feared that I didn’t have what it took to be a good mom. My nature is not typically very maternal, nurturing, nor very “lovey-dovey”. In my mind I didn’t fit the “good mom mold”. I just knew I would mess the kids up.

I feared what having kids would do to my body. Really, I mean stretch marks, droopy boobs, and the potential of never achieving that pre-baby body again means the end of the world, right?  Then of course the potential pain of childbirth was extremely unnerving and fear-inducing.

Now, after having 2 kiddos I know that those fears were unfounded. Although somewhat true, they were nothing to truly fear.  I was able to fight through and overcome each of them.

Crazy new mom fears I had

Then after having kids you wouldn’t believe the crazy scenarios that would play through my head. For example, I explicitly remember that every time I would go into my mom’s bedroom in her house to nurse, I would sit on her bed and immediately start having these fears of lifting the baby up with both arms only to whack their little, soft baby head on the shelves that are over my mom’s bed. In my imagination, this would of course result in severe head and brain injury…blood…death…all from a bookshelf and nursing. Yep. Told you I was crazy!

Or…In my split level home I have a set of brick stairs that go down into the living room. Walking with the baby, I would imagine myself tripping down the stairs and launching the baby into the air across the room where he/she would of course, you know…die.

Then nearly EVERY SINGLE TIME after I would drop the kids off with my mom or whoever else might be watching them, when I would exit my vehicle to go into a gas station, grocery store, or work I would have a minor panic attack…”Did I leave the kids in the car? Did I FOR SURE drop them off already?”

I had frequent crazy fears that I was somehow going to inadvertently kill my kids…forget them…lose them…or just permanently mess them up in some way, shape, or form.

Crazy current mom fears

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Biblical Examples of Waiting

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Biblical Examples of Waiting

Biblical Examples of Waiting

“All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NLT)

I love that we can look to the Bible to learn from others but also to gain encouragement. We can see from many of the Bible stories how the characters, these REAL people, were often extremely relatable and went through many of the same types of things that we endure today—maybe not identical circumstances but comparable troubles and accompanying emotions. We can see that we’re in good company. Because ALL scripture is useful for teaching us, including Bible character stories even as adults, I often use “character studies” in my lessons when teaching where we’ll explore different Bible characters that complement our current topic of study.

Today’s post comes directly from a character study worksheet I use on waiting. There are several examples in the Bible of people who had to practice waiting for various things. We’ll discuss of few of them here. I’ll also vary slightly from my typical post format and implement some “practical steps” with some questions to ponder for each character study instead of waiting to include them at the end.

We can learn a lot from and be encouraged by the extremely relatable characters in the Bible. We’re in good company!

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Unfortunately life requires a lot of waiting

Unfortunately throughout our lives, and often on a number of occasions, we will find ourselves waiting. It’s just one of those unenjoyable life truths. A few things we could find ourselves waiting on might include (but are not limited to):

    • Healing
    • A marriage or relationship to be restored
    • Our future spouse
    • Child(ren)
    • Answers, direction, guidance, and/or purpose
    • A loved one to come to or return to God
    • Financial breakthrough
    • Promotion
    • Freedom
    • Justice
    • Change
    • Fulfillment of a dream
    • Fulfillment of a promise

Waiting can be an extremely difficult and sometimes painful process. Previously I wrote a few posts on this topic that you might also find helpful…

When You’re Waiting on God—to give some ways to wait and some encouragement throughout the process

Explanations for Why We Wait on God—to share some potential reasons behind the waiting

Scriptures for Waiting on God— to give some scriptures to focus on during the waiting periods

To supplement these posts, today’s character studies will give some additional encouragement and hopefully some relatable stories from the Bible to help and give some food for thought in the process of waiting.

Abraham was waiting for a son

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When You Fall or Fail Get Back Up!

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When You Fall or Fail Get Back Up!

When You Fall or Fail Get Back Up!

Sometimes we are our own biggest critic and condemner when fall short, fail, and or make mistakes. We may even have a tendency to give up and stay down once we’ve fallen. However God wants us to get back up and keep going. He’s not mad or angry. He’s not discouraged or disappointed. In fact, God is our biggest cheerleader!

“For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him.” 2 Chronicles 16:9a (ESV)

“Then my enemies will turn back when I call for help. By this I will know that God is for me.” Psalm 56:9 (NIV)

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31 (NIV)

“The LORD is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” Psalm 118:6 (NLT)

“But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us by the arrival of Titus.” 2 Corinthians 7:6 (NLT)

I’ve mentioned before that Joe McGee often says, “We’re not the perfect people, we’re the getting back up people!”

“The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked.” Proverbs 24:16 (NLT)

God cheers us on even more if we fall or fail

God is our Father, and he a good father, a good parent…even better than we could ever be.

“So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.” Matthew 7:11 (NLT)

Subsequently which of us would kick or discourage a child when he’s down? That would be a pretty awful parent to do something like that, right? So why would we expect God to do something like that?

I recently heard someone say that if a child is running in a race but then falls in the middle of the race, the parent would never say, “You’re so stupid. How could you do that? What’s the point of even trying now? You might as well go ahead and give up.” That’s when a parent starts cheering even louder and encouraging them even more… “Get back up! You can do it! You’ve got this!”

That’s how God is. God cheers us on even more when we fall or fail.

It also reminds me of my son pitching at a baseball game. If he’s pitching well and throwing strikes but then starts throwing balls instead of strikes, that’s the time I start cheering him on a little more.

God won’t kick us when we’re down. If we mess up, sin, or fail in some way, he is cheering us on even more…”Don’t give up! You’ve got this! You can do it! You’re not alone—I’m right here with you!”

God won’t kick us when we’re down. If we mess up, sin, or fail in some way, he is cheering us on even more.

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A fall or fail is not the end or a death sentence

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The Holy Spirit Told Me to Eat a Pineapple

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The Holy Spirit Told Me to Eat a Pineapple

The Holy Spirit Told Me to Eat a Pineapple

The Holy Spirit told me to eat a pineapple. Sounds crazy right? I thought so too, but let me back up and share the whole story with you. This really is more about going to the Holy Spirit for guidance and listening…even in the small things.

A couple of weeks ago I had lunch with one of my friends. I always enjoying getting together with good Christian friends. I always walk away feeling so encouraged and uplifted and sometimes even challenged a little, as was the case when I met with Kim. After all, isn’t that how God intended for Christian community to work?

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17 (NLT)

“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

Anyhow, Kim was sharing some things with me about how God has been working in her life and about some projects that she’s working on. Something that stuck out to me was how she kept mentioning her reliance on the Holy Spirit, for EVERYTHING.

I had to ask myself, “Do I rely on the Holy Spirit as much as I should? Do I go to him or listen for guidance on even the small stuff?” If I’m answering honestly, it’s “No”, at least not as often as I should.

I DO listen to God and speak with him regularly. Also, I DO listen to the Holy Spirit’s voice. Fortunately, he’s a familiar friend that I do recognize. I think where I was missing the mark was in seeking guidance, on purpose, for even small things in my life. Things where I think, “I’ve got this” or things that seem too trivial to bother God with. Things like minor stomach discomfort or acid-reflux.

Stomach issues, the Daniel Fast, and then more stomach issues

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Anxiety and Stress in Younger Generations

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Anxiety and Stress in Younger Generations

Anxiety and Stress in Younger Generations

Last week I shared about how I’m having to learn a balance of helping but not coddling my kids in order to help them build necessary life skills. Fortunately I’ve had some good teaching in this area from my pastors in addition to other helpful resources that I have either sought out or “stumbled upon” (i.e. led by the Holy Spirit). I often actively seek out resources in guiding and leading younger generations due to being a parent, educator, and church youth leader. I recognize my own limitations. Subsequently, I realize that my own perspective is definitely not unbiased and not shared by today’s younger generations and culture.

Some of the issues I have dealt with as an educator over the past 10+ years have also prompted me to seek out further counsel and guidance. One issue in particular is the rise of anxiety and stress levels in younger generations. Today, I’ll share some examples with you from what I’ve seen in my own classroom. Additionally, I’ll give you some resources to help in this area, along with other resources that I find extremely helpful when dealing with younger generations.

The rise of anxiety and stress

I’ve been pretty disheartened with the state of many of my college students lately. Although there are some AMAZING and desirable qualities in these younger generations, so many of them are so inadequately prepared for college and for life. I could get on a colossal soapbox about the sense of entitlement, apathy, poor work ethic, and lack of respect for authority that is so rampant among younger generations, but I’ll spare you that rant. My discouragement today centers around the rise of anxiety and stress (and really even poor mental health) among today’s youth and young adults.

Unfortunately, many parents, educators, and/or other influencers of youth and young adults have been a large part of the problem. I will include myself because I have personally been convicted about some of my previous parenting and teaching strategies that have enabled and even exacerbated this problem.

Recent examples of students crippled by anxiety

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Keeping a Written Account Can Help You and Others

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Keeping a Written Account Can Help You and Others

Keeping a Written Account Can Help You and Others

I’ve written before about the importance of writing things down, specifically when it comes to taking notes during church or journaling during your quiet times. There are so many benefits both to us and to others when we have a written account of something that we have learned or heard. We merely have to look at the bible to see a prime example of that.

This is something I teach both in my college classes and at Glory House, the women’s restoration home where I volunteer. The importance of having a written account of your learning and of your walk with God are fundamental lessons in my classes.

Today, I’d like to look at three examples from accounts of David, Mary (Jesus’ mother), and John to help us further learn how a written account can help us.

A written account from David

David was the primary author of the majority of the Psalms. The Psalms contain a combination of cries to God in times of despair, praise to God in times of celebration and confessions to God of sin along with pleadings for forgiveness. There are a vast range of emotions recorded throughout the book of Psalms.

What was the importance of David (and other authors of the Psalms) recording such a vast range of emotions along with cries, praise and pleadings to God? I, personally, have benefitted from David’s writings because they help me to feel “not-so-crazy”. After all, David was called “a man after God’s heart”. If he was such a rollercoaster of emotions, then maybe I’m not so bad either with all of my own ups and downs! 🙂 I’ve learned from David’s writings that I can be real and vulnerable with God.

After having written down the events and the corresponding emotions and prayers that went with them, I also think David was able to look back over them and see how far he’d come and how much he had grown. I do this too when I look back at my own journals.

What might have been some of the other benefits of being able to look back on what he had written? How have others been able to benefit from his notes and writings? In what ways can we follow David’s example of writing things down? What benefits do you think we (and possibly even others) gain from taking notes and writing things down like David did? 

I’ve learned from David’s writings that I can be real and vulnerable with God.

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A written account from Mary, the mother of Jesus

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