Proverbs 31…It’s Not Just For Women
Proverbs 31 is one of those chapters that I think a lot of women sometimes read and then feel deficient. It’s almost like we can never measure up to her. I mean, really, who can do and be proficient at ALL of the things that she does? Talk about a Renaissance Woman!
However, recently I had some different insights while reading Proverbs 31 in The Message translation. As I read through the verses about the Proverbs 31 woman, I jotted down her characteristics in my journal. It dawned on me that it’s not necessarily the activities that she does that matter, but the character and traits she possesses are what are truly important. That should be our primary takeaway from the reading. Thank goodness because I don’t think I’ll EVER be proficient at sewing!
In Proverbs 31, verses 10-31 form an alphabetic acrostic, used here as a type of Hebrew poem about a woman who exemplifies godly character and wisdom from A to Z. J.A. Motyer says, “In the common form of acrostic found in Old Testament Poetry, each line or stanza begins with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet in order. This literary form may have been intended as an aid to memory, but more likely it was a poetic way of saying that a total coverage of the subject was being offered — as we would say, ‘from A to Z.‘”[1] So in this case, the Proverbs 31 woman exemplifies godly traits and wisdom throughout and completely. She’s the full package.
Proverbs 31 is not just for women
In part of my recent study of the Proverbs 31 passages, I came across a really good article by Rachel Held Evans. In her post, she mentions that the “target audience” of Proverbs 31 is actually men. I did not know this! Rachel mentioned that she learned from a Jewish friend of hers that in the Jewish culture, it’s the men who memorize the passage, not the women.
In fact, the men actually sing or recite it to the women as a way of praising and blessing them! This special “Eshet Chayil” song is typically done each Friday night before the Sabbath or Shabbat meal.
Here is a video of a traditional Eschet Chayil song with the Hebrew lyrics and English translation shown:
I LOVE this English rendition by Ari Lesser as he sings to his wife:
I also realized these are NOT just characteristics that a woman should possess. Men should possess the Proverbs 31 characteristics too. These same character traits this passage praises the Proverbs 31 woman for having are also desirable for men. They are not gender-specific. ALL people, men and women alike, should strive to have this type of character.
Proverbs 31:10-31 in The Message Translation
Below is a look at my takeaways about character from the passages. I use the feminine pronouns “she” and “her” when describing her characteristics, but read through them keeping in mind that we should all endeavor to display this type of character in our lives.
“A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.”
A woman like this is rare and quite valuable, not to be taken for granted.
“Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.”
She is trustworthy.
“Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.”
She is not spiteful, mean, nasty, or vindictive to her husband. Instead, she is very generous to her husband.
“She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing.”
This woman takes her time and doesn’t rush into purchases or decisions. She buys quality items, not cheap, inexpensive, shoddy, or inferior materials. She also enjoys her work and her talents. Using her gifts gives her pleasure.
“She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises.”
She likes to surprise people with nice things. She loads up with good things to lavish on her family and friends.
“She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.”
This woman is a good manager of her time. She wakes up early to start her day, and she is prepared and organized.
“She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.”
Researching before making decisions is important to her by carefully evaluating things and not making impulsive purchases or decisions. She is also a saver, keeping money set aside, and she doesn’t spend all that she has. As my dad would say, she doesn’t let money burn a hole in her pocket! She uses the extra money that she does have wisely, using it to her advantage and helping her to reap even more benefits. For example, by planting a garden with extra money she will have additional food to consume or sell making her even more money. The extra money is also put to use allowing her to do more things that are not only productive but that she enjoys (like gardening).
“First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.”
She doesn’t waste time. The first thing she does is get up, get dressed, and get busy. She doesn’t let distractions get in the way.
“She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.”
Her work has meaning, and she sees and understands the significance of it and the worth and value in it. She doesn’t despise her work and doesn’t complain about it. Additionally, she’s not in a hurry to finish. She does things well, with excellence and doesn’t get in a rush.
“She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.”
She has other gifts and talents too in addition to being good at her regular work. To use another age-old idiom, she’s not a one-trick pony.
“She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.”
This woman has a heart for the hurting and is quick to help those in need. She has an eye for and keeps watch for people who might need her help. She’s proactive about it.
“She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.”
Her family’s needs don’t cause her worry or concern because she has already made preparations in advance before any problems even occur. She foresees potential trouble and makes arrangements before it even happens.
“She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks.”
Her other talents (i.e. sewing) are put to use not only for her enjoyment but for practicality as well. This shows that she’s frugal but also gets exactly what she wants and likes (i.e. type of clothes) for less money. She also has her own style and is, again, quality-minded as evidenced by the types of materials she uses. She takes pride, but is not prideful, in looking nice and presentable and cares about her appearance.
“Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers.”
She has good taste in men! In his commentary, Matthew Henry states that “She adds to his reputation in the world” and [he is] “known to have a good wife”.
“She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.”
She uses her gifts not only to enjoy herself but to make money as well by selling what she makes. Furthermore, she uses her eye for style and quality to help others because she offers quality items that are well-made and elegant. She has integrity in her business dealings. Because she “always faces tomorrow with a smile”, she is a light to others, always happy, smiling, positive, and optimistic.
“When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.”
This woman is wise enough to only speak when it is worthwhile. She doesn’t talk too much, nor does she mumble or ramble on like a fool. She knows when to “KMS”! Also, when she does speak, she is constantly kind and gentle with her words—even in correction or when she speaks something opposing to others’ views.
“She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.”
She is aware of her family and doesn’t neglect them. By keeping an eye on them, she protects them and knows what’s going on around her. She pays attention to them. Setting an example herself, she is a good teacher, mentor, and leader in keeping her family productive and not idle. She won’t tolerate laziness.
“Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!””
She earns the respect and praise of her family and doesn’t do things to make them distrust, disrespect or speak negatively of her. They speak very highly of her and have a deep reverence for her. Her husband recognizes what a jewel she is and sees her value based on her way of life, actions and attitudes. He knows deep down how lucky he is to have her.
“Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!”
She is not misleading with her charm and is genuine and not fake. She has qualities that will outlast her beauty. When her outward beauty fades with age, she will still be desirable. She loves and fears God with all of her heart. Her love for the Lord and all of the other qualities and characteristics listed are evident to her husband, children, and all those around her.
Take Some Practical Steps to Demonstrate Some of the Proverbs 31 Characteristics:
- Be trustworthy
- Do not be mean, nasty, spiteful or vindictive to your spouse
- Avoid impulse buying
- Purchase quality things
- Enjoy working
- Enjoy utilizing gifts and talents
- Show generosity in surprising others with nice gifts
- Have good time management skills
- Be an early riser
- Be prepared and organized
- Research and carefully evaluate before making important decisions without acting rashly
- Save and spend money wisely
- Invest in opportunities to earn extra money
- Do not become easily distracted
- Do not despise or complain about work and/or job
- Work with a spirit of excellence without getting in rush
- Utilize your many gifts and talents
- Have a heart for the hurting and an eye for people in need, then act upon it
- Prepare in advance for potential trouble or obstacles
- Be frugal, but not cheap
- Have a sense of style and care about appearance (in a non-prideful way); look your best
- Pick your spouse wisely and add to their positive reputation
- Use your gifts and talents to make money—and let it be a win-win in that others get the very best and are willing to pay for the quality and integrity that you offer
- Face each day with a smile and be a light to others
- Be positive and optimistic and see the best in each day
- Speak only when it is worthwhile, knowing when to KMS, always be encouraging, kind and gentle with your words…including and especially when you are speaking to those with opposing views.
- Pay attention to your family
- Don’t tolerate laziness in your family—keep them productive and do this by leading by example
- Earn the respect of your family and don’t give them reasons to distrust, disrespect, or speak negatively of you—be the kind of person that someone is lucky to have
- Be genuine and real, not fake or misleading
- Don’t get wrapped up in your outward appearances—instead focus on qualities that outlast good looks
- Lastly, and most importantly, love the Lord with all of your heart…and let this be evident to all around you
This is a long list and may seem overwhelming. However, what from this list of character traits stood out to you the most? What pricked your conscience a bit? Focus on those things for the time being. Baby steps. Remember, God meets you where you are, and He will work with you and on you little by little.
Which of the Proverbs 31 characteristics stand out most to you and why? Tell us about it by leaving a comment below.
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- Motyer, J. A. “Acrostic.” The New International Dictionary of the Bible. By J. D. Douglas. N.p.: Marshall Pickering, 1987. 12. Print. ↑
