Category Archives: Relationships

Tips for Spending Time With God

2 Replies

Tips for spending time with God

Tips for Spending Time With God

On occasion readers post comments on different blog posts that I feel deserve more attention than just a reply at the bottom of a post. This week is one of those occasions. A reader recently posted a comment with some questions on my post “How to Overcome Feeling Unloved or Unwanted”. I’d like to take some time to answer her questions and provide some additional resources that I think might be helpful for her and others struggling with spending time with God.

This might also be a timely message for others too since the start of the year is a common time to evaluate spiritual growth and set some goals to grow stronger and spend more time with God. You might find some good tips within the post or other resources to help you kick start and/or maintain some of your spiritual New Year’s resolutions.  You can also check out Tips to Start Reading the Bible on a Regular Basis for some extra help and encouragement too.

A comment from Tina

“As great as this article is, I still can’t grasp the concept that “God” loves me…I know partly this is due to me not spending enough time in his word, but for me I never really got much of a true understanding of the Bible and his Word 1. How do I know what to read? 2. What is enough time to spend with God?

I find comfort in being around others… amongst other things, but I want to find comfort in God. 2016 was a very very hard year for me. For the past 4 or 5 months I have felt so UNLOVED, lonely, and rejected…I have prayed countless times for God to just take me away, because the pain I feel on most days has become the norm.

It hurts the most when the one person you love, says one thing but acts different….the same person that I once was all he ever wanted and because I have felt so unloved my entire life, once the triggers started happening it made me become clingy and probably push him away (although he never said it)…My point is not to get advice on the above, but instead I feel the most unloved when things like this happen.

I wish I had the belief, peace, joy, and faith, but honestly it is hard for me to fathom that there is a God…I am very skeptical, logical, and need to be in control and those 3 things are disastrous to truly believing. I get so discouraged about this. I have prayed endless prayers to stop my unbelief and doubt, to prayers about understanding, etc.

I can’t take any more on my own the stress, sadness, and heartache is making me sick. It is so hard to see and understand God when you feel like everything is against you. I truly wish I was stronger, more confidence, and self-esteem. I wish someone (outside of God) would love me like I love. I am so genuine and all that’s brought me is heartache. I sit in my room or in my car with just with tears flowing wondering what I could have done in my life to feel like this. I am hurting and can only hope that I can find happiness and joy inside of me.”

Dear Tina…

Continue reading →

Why Christians Get Offended When Jesus Gets Attacked

Leave a reply

This past week, I tried to convey to one of my classes why Christians get offended sometimes, at least from my perspective. I wanted to share a little insight about why this might get so heated from a Christian perspective...

Why Christians Get Offended When Jesus Gets Attacked

Recently in my college classes we discussed diversity issues and how they can affect us in college and in life. One of the exercises we do in class is called “Examining Your Own Prejudices”. It involves each student taking an index card and anonymously writing a couple of sentences about a group of people that they have the most difficulty with. I then read each of the cards aloud, and we have a class discussion about them. We talk about where these prejudices come from, how to prevent stereotyping an entire group based on them, how to work with groups with which we have difficulties, and so on.

It’s usually a pretty controversial, yet enlightening exercise. It never fails…in each class I’ve taught there is usually a card mentioning a problem that someone has with Atheists (or non-Christians). There’s also a card or two listing Christians as the problem group. These two types of cards have a tendency to bring on the most discussion, sometimes heated. It’s often because Christians get offended and hurt by some of what’s said.

This past week, I tried to convey to one of my classes why Christians get offended sometimes, at least from my perspective. I wanted to share a little insight about why this might get so heated from a Christian perspective, and why we get so hurt when people speak badly of Jesus. I shared with them a note I had typed into my phone a while back.

Imagine a friend showing up at the worst time of your life

Imagine that you go through the hardest time of your life. You end up meeting this friend, Continue reading →

Explaining the Fear of the Lord

1 Reply

Explaining the Fear of the Lord...

Explaining the Fear of the Lord

The kids and I had a discussion recently about the fear of the Lord and what that truly means. It can be a little more difficult to explain to children. Even adults sometimes misunderstand the phrase “fear of the Lord”. So, I thought I’d spend some time on that today and share an analogy that came to mind to describe this “fear”.

This month we have been reading through a YouVersion bible reading plan called The Wisdom of Proverbs. It’s a good introduction to the book by reading a chapter of proverbs each day of the month accompanied by a short explanation each day. Reading a proverb a day is one of my daily routines that I’d like to instill in my own children. I learned as a youth that this practice is one of the best ways to grow in wisdom.

Wisdom comes from the fear of the Lord

As a result of reading the bible, we’ve learned that the beginning of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding comes from the fear of the Lord.

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1:7 (NIV)

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Proverbs 9:10 (NIV)

“Fear of the LORD is the foundation of true wisdom. All who obey his commandments will grow in wisdom. Praise him forever!” Psalm 111:10 (NLT)

“And this is what he says to all humanity: The fear of the Lord is true wisdom; to forsake evil is real understanding.” Job 28:28 (NLT)

Therefore, if we want to be truly wise and grow in wisdom, we must learn this principle of having the fear of the Lord.

What is this “fear”?

The fear of the Lord has been defined as a specific sense of respect, awe, and submission to God. The Hebrew word for this fear is Continue reading →

Help From God Might Come As Help From Others

Leave a reply

Help From God Might Come As Help From Others

Help From God Might Come As Help From Others

To wrap up our recent talks about “help”, I thought I’d leave you with a reminder. Help from God might come as help from others. So often many of us pray to God for help, and for some reason we get these ideas of how that help will appear. We think God will somehow miraculously intervene. We think that God might empower and strengthen us to handle situations on our own. It doesn’t always come the way we imagine though. Occasionally, it’s much more humbling than we imagine.

Our prayers for help may come in the form of help from others. Frequently we may find ourselves having to admit that we need other people to help fix things we are dealing with or going through. Our gut reaction may be to decline that help because we trick ourselves into believing that we are somehow “less” if we accept help from others. However, we may be refusing God’s help when we don’t accept help from others that He may have sent on our behalf. 

Help from God doesn’t always come in the way we imagine.

Click To Tweet

It reminds me of a fable or parable I heard years ago… 

Continue reading →

You Rob People When You Refuse To Accept Help

Leave a reply

You Rob People When You Refuse To Accept Help. See how...

You Rob People When You Refuse To Accept Help

We talked previously about refusing to accept help and how that reveals pride. There are some other disadvantages when we don’t accept help though. In addition to showing pride, refusing to accept help might actually be robbing people of lessons, blessings, and love when we decline their help.

Don’t you try to rob me of my blessing!

I still remember a lady on the news many years ago during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. She was displaced and staying in Oklahoma. The news was interviewing some of the hurricane victims, and her interview has always stuck out to me. They were telling her story of giving money to a local church. Apparently the church tried to refuse her money. That’s when I giggled at her unyielding response. She said she told them, “Don’t you try to rob me of my blessing!”

What a perspective. She knew the laws of reaping and sowing. She knew that her small gift of monetary help, even in her time of need, would yield a blessing in return. In her eyes, anyone refusing to accept help from her was actually hurting her not helping her.

Robbing others AND ourselves of lessons and blessings

Someone’s offer for help may be them trying to love their neighbor. This is what Eric was doing when he offered to help the man at Lowes (story in previous post). When we refuse to accept help offered to us, we might be denying others the opportunity to obey God’s call to help. God commands us to help those around us.

“When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.” Romans 12:13 (NLT)

“Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4 (HCSB)

“He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”” Luke 10:27 (NIV)

By someone offering to help, they are learning to love as God loves…by giving…by being unselfish. We shouldn’t rob somebody of Continue reading →

Ask for Help. Accept Help.

Leave a reply

Ask for Help. Accept Help.

Ask for Help. Accept Help.

I was just thinking the other day about how so many of us are hesitant to ask for help. Sometimes, we are also reluctant to accept help when offered. I got to thinking…I don’t think God wants us to be this way. Really, this is just being prideful, especially if it’s a pattern or natural tendency.

The man at Lowe’s said “no”

Earlier this summer, Eric and I had gone to Lowes to look at some plants. As we were walking through the parking lot, we noticed an elderly gentleman that was loading a huge stack of concrete paving stones into the back of a van. He looked like he was struggling a bit.

This was right around the time of when God was really impressing on me to “love your neighbor”. So, I was getting ready to tell Eric that he should offer to help the guy, but he beat me to it. [insert proud wife smiley face 🙂] However, the man refused Eric’s help. Twice. Eric offered a second time saying, “Are you sure?” Nope. “I’ve got it,” was his response. It was evident he was not going to ask for help nor accept help.

It made me kind of sad too, because I thought to myself, “We are just trying to obey God and love our neighbor. Why won’t he let us?” I told Eric, “Well, maybe he knows he’ll have to unload it at home by himself anyway. So he’s thinking he might as well do it now too.” Eric said, “Even more reason to accept help now.” I praised Eric for offering to help anyway.

Refusal to ask for help or accept help reveals pride

Later, I realized that to ask for help or to accept help can be a hit on our pride. It’s like we think we’re not enough somehow if we have to rely on others. What a lie. But we believe it. That’s why we so often say Continue reading →

Connect With God Through Nature

1 Reply

Nature reveals so much about God. There's a lot to learn when we connect with God through nature. Here are some things to learn and some ways of connecting.

Connect With God Through Nature

“For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities–his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.” Romans 1:20 (NLT)

Any nature lovers out there? Picture me raising both hands. I absolutely LOVE being outside (weather permitting) and being around nature. There’s just something about seeing creation in all of its shapes and forms. As a result, I feel like I connect with God through nature.

Now, I know this is probably not the case for everyone. Hence, this is only one of many ways of connecting with God. There are loads of people I know who love and prefer their creature comforts…namely indoor air conditioning and heating! However, I still think even those who prefer to remain indoors have something to gain by trying to connect with God through nature.

Even Jesus liked to connect with God through nature

“Later that same day Jesus left the house and sat beside the lake.” Matthew 13:1 (NLT)

This is a verse I found written in my journal on one of my quiet time notes. My own notes beside it included some of my thoughts as I read the verse. “I love this because I can relate. Even I love to go out and enjoy peace and nature—especially beside water (like a lake). I can just imagine him sitting there, enjoying the beauty, talking to God, and thinking. I love it!”

It was cool reading that Jesus did some of the very things that I also enjoy doing to connect with God through nature and the outdoors. In fact there are several other instances of Jesus doing just that…

“But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.” Luke 5:16 (NLT)

“After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone” Matthew 14:23 (NIV)

“Then Jesus went with them to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and he said, “Sit here while I go over there to pray.”” Matthew 26:36 (NLT)

Nature can reveal so much about God.

In her book, What’s Your God Language?: Connecting with God through Your Unique Spiritual Temperament, Myra Perrine says of people who connect with God through nature,  Continue reading →

Do You Love Your Neighbor? Your ACTUAL neighbor?

Leave a reply

Do you love your neighbor? Your ACTUAL neighbor?

“Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The LORD our God is the one and only LORD. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”” Mark 12:29-31 (NLT)

Do You Love Your Neighbor? Your ACTUAL neighbor?

This past weekend, I had the opportunity and privilege to put the “love your neighbor” commandment into action alongside 2000+ other members of my church during Love Day (#loveday16). People participated in over 70 different outreaches throughout the Tulsa, OK Metro area. As a part of the larger Serve Day 2016, we joined 307 other churches across the globe to love our neighbors. I hope each of you were able to find your own way to love your neighbor too this weekend! More than at Love Day, I was able to love my neighbors…my ACTUAL neighbors…this past week as well. 

Do you really love your neighbor–your actual, literal neighbor? #loveyourneighbor

Click To Tweet

Do you really love your neighbor, your actual, literal neighbor?

Leading up to Love Day, I mentioned that I have been doing a group book study on the book Servolution and some personal individual study on how to love your neighbor. There has been some great practical advice about reaching out to love others around you. Something that stood out and was a bit convicting for me was to love my ACTUAL neighbors.

I’ve lived in my neighborhood for 15 years now, and do you know that up until this past week I’ve never even met or talked to at least half of the neighbors on my street. It’s kind of embarrassing. Or maybe you can relate? It’s so easy, and honestly more convenient, to just keep to ourselves. We don’t have to deal with the awkwardness or messiness of dealing with strangers and their potential “issues”. However, in keeping to ourselves we might be missing out on not only obeying Jesus’ commandment to love your neighbor but also the joy that comes with it as a byproduct.

It’s rewarding to love your neighbor

After my reading and studies on how to love your neighbor, I’ve tried to be more purposeful about it. I’ve especially tried to step out and show love to the people right here in my own neighborhood. It’s taken a lot of prayer and getting out of my comfort zone. Can I tell you though…It’s been so very rewarding. I had such a great week this past week!

Sometimes it seems like when you try to help others, you end up getting more out of it than they do. By stepping out of my comfort zone recently to talk to my neighbors, I have received loads of unexpected benefits. I’ve made some new friends, both young and old. I got some history lessons (I love history!), and I even learned what a Dogtrot house is! I also ended up with some fresh eggs from one of the neighbor’s chickens! Most importantly, my heart and soul were happy and full at the end of the day. 

To love your neighbor is good for your soul and good for your heart! #loveyourneighbor

Click To Tweet

On a mission to love our neighbors

Love your neighbor--Storm cleanup in our yard

The boys had to get pretty creative to get a rope around a broken limb hanging about 40 ft over our drive!

This past week our community suffered a severe storm with tornado strength winds and the accompanying damage. Thankfully we had no damage to our property. We only had a couple trees and several limbs down, a 2 day power outage, and a big mess to clean up. Many of my neighbors were not so lucky. There were several trees on top of houses.

As a result, the kids and I decided it would be a great opportunity to serve! The day after the storm we set out on a mission to Continue reading →