Category Archives: Relationships

How to Teach Your Kids (or others) to Have Relationship With God

It’s so important to me to teach my kids to have a real relationship with God, beyond salvation. In fact, I’d say that’s part of my life’s mission and calling. I want not only to help my kids learn how to have relationship with God but to teach others this as well. It’s a part of why I started this blog. Today I was reading through the Jen Hatmaker Bible plan “For the Love“. She was discussing how kids are ultimately going to make their own decisions especially spiritually. We can’t control or guarantee the outcome as parents. She said “the best we can do is give them Jesus”. He is unchanging (Hebrews 13:8).

Jen shared how when we don’t know what to do, when we are grasping as a spiritual mentor, or when right words and answers fail us, Jesus can deliver. Kids may doubt us, but they can’t doubt Jesus because he is unfailing and dependable. He always endures. Jesus can lead and guide our kids during those times when we can’t and even after our job of raising them is done. We need to remember that our children belong to God.

Raising good, godly, world-altering kids who have a relationship with God

I kind of had a vulnerable moment with God during reading this because one of my heart’s greatest desires is to raise good, godly, world-altering kids who love God faithfully with their whole heart and have a genuine relationship with God. My kids are still young, but sometimes I worry about their relationship with God (not their salvation because I personally prayed the believer’s prayer with both of them). I especially worry about my 12-year-old son at times. He doesn’t seem too terribly interested in spiritual things or in true relationship with God. That hurts my heart because I don’t know how to fix that. You hear stories of kids being raised in good Christian homes and then turning away from God. I don’t want that. So reading this devotional helped a little…I just need to give them Jesus.

I stopped my reading and prayed an earnest and heartfelt prayer (James 5:16) telling Jesus my concerns and desires for my kids. I told him that right answers have failed me. I told him that I’m concerned that I can’t guarantee their “spiritual success”. I asked him for help. I asked him to show me what I could do (what steps I could take) to do my part in “giving them Jesus”. After pouring my heart out for a minute or two, I continued reading my Bible. This verse was part of the plan and the last phrase comforted me…

“For the Lord is good, His unfailing love continues forever, and His faithfulness continues to each generation.” Psalm 100:5 (NLT)

Each generation… That means He will be just as faithful to my kids as He’s been to me. 😀

Jesus will be just as faithful to your kids as He’s been to you. (see Psalm 100:5) #faithfultoeachgeneration

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Moses told stories to help people develop relationship with God Continue reading →

Recognizing God’s Love By Building Your Relationship With God–Part 2

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Recognizing God’s Love By Building Your Relationship With God--Part 2

Recognizing God’s Love By Building Your Relationship With Him–Part 2

Last week I started a reply to comment that I received on a previous post, “How to Overcome Feeling Unloved or Unwanted”. I shared that learning to recognize God’s love is a process that takes time and starts with building a relationship with God. This week I’d like to finish up my reply by giving the intentional steps that we need to take in order to build our relationship with God and to learn how to feel God’s love. I will give more details on what more is needed besides attending a getaway, retreat or conference in order to have lasting healing and success.

Reader’s Comment:

“I’m 59, and to this day still feel unloved. I believe what you say about God’s love for us. I can’t seem to sit and really spend time with him. I do talk to Him all day here and there. I know in my mind He loves me but the rest of me doesn’t. I’m so insure from lack of feeling love I push people away. I hate it. I have five kids whom I love so much along with 9 grandkids. At this point I prefer to be dead, but I don’t want to give up. I want to know true love (not from a man at this point divorced twice) and happiness here on earth before I die. Are there places to go for a week or 2 for adults to get away and have bible studies or spiritual help?”

Previously I addressed that there’s a need for some emotional and spiritual healing to take place. I gave an analogy of a broken arm and how a cast (like a retreat or a conference) is the start of the healing process, but more healing needs to take place on the inside by taking some steps on purpose to have lasting, long-term recovery. I mentioned that the 4-step Formula for Success would be beneficial in this process. The formula consists of learning, taking action, using persistence, and make sure we have support.

Build relationship with God: learn, take action, use persistence & make sure you have support.

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Take Some Practical Steps to Build Your Relationship With God:

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The first step we need to intentionally take to build our relationship with God (and to learn to recognize God’s love by spending time with him) is to learn about him. There are several ways to do this. Continue reading →

Recognizing God’s Love By Building Your Relationship With Him–Part 1

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Learn how to start Recognizing God’s Love By Building Your Relationship With Him--Part 1

Recognizing God’s Love By Building Your Relationship With Him–Part 1

**Read Part 2 here

With any relationship, you need to build it by spending time with one another and learning more about each other. This is how love grows. Our relationship with God is no different. We need to spend time with him and learn about him in order to cultivate and grow love in that relationship. It’s also a process that doesn’t happen overnight or even in a week.

This week’s post is another response to a comment that I received on a previous post, “How to Overcome Feeling Unloved or Unwanted”. Some responses just take more than a quick reply if I’m doing them justice. My prayer is that I can give this hurting person some hope and guidance to further recognize God’s love by learning how to build relationship with him.

Reader’s Comment:

Quick answer…

As a quick answer to the question asked about getaways for bible studies and spiritual help… Continue reading →

I Just Turned 40! Find Out How I Felt So Loved by Gifts and Acts of Service

Unmet Needs and Expectations in Relationships

My sister just shared a story with me that she saw on Facebook, and I’d like to share it with you here too. I didn’t write this story, and unfortunately I do not know the author in order to give due credit. You may have already heard or read this story because it has been reposted on the internet a number of times over the past few years. It’s a story of unmet needs and expectations in marriage. I loved it so much because I think so many people can relate.

A Story of Unmet Needs and Expectations…

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite. His lack of sensitivity and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who can’t even express his predicament. What else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me, “What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right–it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered, “Here is the question. If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind. Let’s say I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?” He said, “I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass on the dining table near the front door, that goes… “My dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further…” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. Continue reading →

What If God’s Love Isn’t Enough?

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Previously I shared that the best way to overcome feeling unloved/unwanted is to know that we are loved/wanted by God. But what if God's love isn't enough?

What If God’s Love Isn’t Enough?

This week’s post is in response to a comment I received on a former post, “How to Overcome Feeling Unloved or Unwanted”. I felt that a reply at the bottom of the post wouldn’t do him justice. In that post I shared that the best way I know to overcome feeling unloved and unwanted is to come to the understanding and realization that we are loved and wanted by God. A gentleman left me a comment, and he made a very good point. His comment:

“Ms. Robbins, with all due respect, what you say sounds excellent on paper. Unfortunately, here in the real world, no matter how much love God may have for me, it’s not keeping me warm at night. It’s not filling this empty spot in my bed. In other words, God’s love is no substitute for a warm body nor the touch of a woman who wants and desires me.”

I get what he’s saying. It’s almost as if he’s asking, “What if God’s love isn’t enough?” He’s not alone in feeling that way. I have also asked that question. In that post, I also discussed how Leah felt this way too. It’s not uncommon. It’s not absurd for him to ask this. It’s very normal. I am happy to say now that in my own searching, I have found the answer to that question.

First, I’d like to address his first statement. What I write here at this site is never meant it to just sound good on paper. My intent is to always give practical steps and applications to walk out in everyday life. This is because I do live in the real world, and I know there is a real world (full of a lot of hurt and a lot of crap). I’ve been through a lot of it myself. Most of what I share and teach isn’t just from a “teacher/professor of life” point of view. It’s from the perspective of a student who has been through a lot of these things myself and about how God has navigated me through them. Sometimes I’ve navigated through them successfully…sometimes not so much, and that’s where I get to share from my failures. What I write is from MY real world and what I’ve learned, and God has called me to share it with others to hopefully help them too.

Now onto the part about “God’s love is no substitute”. He makes a very good point. I truly get it. I know that pain. I know what that longing and emptiness feel like. I know that feeling that something’s missing. I remember when all of my friends were getting married, and I was single. Everyone else seemed so happy. They seemed to have something I was missing. It made me so sad to see couples. And weddings…they would set me into a major funk and depression. For a while, I even refused to go to weddings because they were so depressing for me. Isn’t that awful? I now feel horrible about that because I see in hindsight how extremely selfish that was of me. I should have celebrated in others’ happiness instead wallowing in my own sorrow and self-pity.

Now, I’m happily married (for nearly 16 years now—wahoo!!). However, I CAN’T tell you that it’s always been happy, happy, joy, joy or that I’ve never experienced loneliness. Marriage or relationships don’t exempt you from feelings of emptiness or loneliness—even with having that person to share life with and that person who wants and desires you. I heard somebody say once, “There’s only one thing worse than being single and lonely. It’s being married and lonely.” Even in my marriage I have experienced some of the deepest pits of feeling unloved and unwanted. Some of it stemmed from marriage troubles, but quite honestly a lot of it was due to my own insecurities and in trying to make my husband fill a void in me that only God’s love can fill. Although, I experienced these immense feelings of being unloved and unwanted, I was also able to overcome them.

Oswald Chambers

God showed me that it was through Him that I could overcome feeling unloved and unwanted. God showed me that if I will always fill myself up with His love first, then everything else I get from others is just an overflow on top of an already full cup (an analogy I learned from Beth Moore). And when I’m already full and overflowing, THEN I can be better at overflowing that love onto others. We have to be filled with God first.

If I will fill myself up w/God’s love first, then everything else I get is just an overflow on top of an already full cup!

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How to Pray for Unsaved Loved Ones

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How to Pray for Unsaved Loved Ones

“I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. This is good and pleases God our Savior, who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:1-4 (NLT)

We are instructed to pray for our unsaved loved ones. Sometimes it’s just hard to know how or what to pray. I encountered this same problem, so I did some study and research to find the best ways to pray for unsaved loved ones. I say “unsaved loved ones” but really these things could be prayed even for those who are saved that may have drifted away from God for some reason.

It’s very hard to see someone you love so lost or far from God or even questioning God. You want so much to help them, to fix them but you inevitably know that it’s not within your control. To receive Christ and to have a life-changing relationship with God is a personal and individual decision that we can never make for someone else, no matter how badly we want it for them. We can “plant seeds” (i.e. talk to them in a non-threatening and non-pushy way and/or show example in our own life), and we can pray for them. The rest is up to them. God gave us free will. Jesus Christ is his free gift to us, ours for the taking. However, a gift demanded or forced is no gift at all. We don’t have to take it. Sometimes we want something more for someone than they want it for themselves. It kind of stinks to feel this way, but guess what…You’re in good company. That’s how God feels all the time. All is not hopeless though! Prayers are extremely powerful!

“…The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James 5:16b (NLT)

I have heard numerous people tell stories, my pastor included, that they are where they are today as a result of someone praying for them. God will go to work on our behalf, but we have to ask.

After studying and researching how and what to pray for unsaved loved ones, I compiled a list of things that I started to use. I actually wrote the list of what to pray in my notes of my phone and would open it and pray through the list for my unsaved loved ones. However, you don’t have to pray ALL of these things all of the time. I have done that, but for the most part I just picked a couple of these things to pray for each day (or whenever my unsaved loved ones came to mind—not necessarily every day).

Take Some Practical Steps to Pray for Unsaved Loved Ones (text in red are example prayers):

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Life Skills for Success ~ Pressing Toward the Mark

Category Archives: Relationships

How to Teach Your Kids (or others) to Have Relationship With God

How to Teach Your Kids (or others) to Have Relationship With God

Raising good, godly, world-altering kids who have a relationship with God

Moses told stories to help people develop relationship with God Continue reading →

Recognizing God’s Love By Building Your Relationship With God–Part 2

Recognizing God’s Love By Building Your Relationship With Him–Part 2