Category Archives: Relationships

Feeling Rejected? Shake That Dirt Off Your Sandal

We’ve been talking a lot lately about insecurities. For most people it’s an ongoing struggle, myself included. Even though I’ve grown tremendously in knowing my value and my worth and seeing myself the way God sees me, I still have feelings of insecurity from time to time. I still have to use the same strategies and practical steps that I share with you in order to help myself.

Take this past week for example. I had a reader unsubscribe from my blog which led to some feelings of rejection and being unwanted/unliked. I actually had mixed feelings about it. I was a little relieved because I don’t think this person really ever read my posts anyway, and it appeared to hurt my numbers or analytics on my subscriber list of “opened posts” (not that this is really that big of a deal, but these analytics could have bearing on my credibility with affiliates, etc.). At the same time though, I felt a little hurt and offended. I KNOW better than to feel this way, and I KNOW this person probably had perfectly good and acceptable reasons and never intentionally meant to hurt me. It still just smarts a little. It feels like somebody was saying to me, “I don’t like your stuff!”

I reached out to my sister, Shawna, to share my feelings and get some encouragement. She replied with the perfect message that really helped me (my words in italics)… Continue reading →

One of the first things that 15 years of marriage has taught me is that when you’ve been married this long and have gone through a lot together, you’ll do some crazy stuff! In honor of our anniversary we decided to celebrate by getting “ring tattoos”. A friend of mine said, “Pain to symbolize the pain of 15 years?” 🙂 Like many marriages, we really have had our fair share of pain though. I’d do it all over again, pain and all–that’s how much I love this man!

What 15 years of marriage has taught me... You'll do some crazy stuff together, like get ring tattoos to celebrate!

15 years celebrated with ring tattoos–Shout out to Josh at Davis Street Tattoo in Dallas for taking such great care of us!

What 15 years of marriage has taught me – Eric:

That you shouldn’t joke or say things facetiously that are negative to your spouse.
That when your wife knows she’s right, you probably shouldn’t bet against her…be it music artists, a certain date or a sitcom theme song from the ‘80s. 🙂
That when you’re at a restaurant and you order something that looks good, your wife will want a bite.
That when you have a nice sweatshirt that’s comfortable, your wife is going to want to wear it.
That it’s very beneficial to identify your wife’s love language and use it. This will only work to your benefit—showing them love in their love language, not just your own. (see this post here)
That when your wife is tired, hungry or hormonal, you should just back off and give her some space. And definitely don’t say anything about why you think she might be so cranky.
That sports aren’t the most important thing in life. (Tracy just said, “Yeah, apparently you have to have time for hunting and fishing too!”) After watching football on Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Thursday, maybe you shouldn’t watch the World Championships of Curling on Friday…might be best just to let that one go.
That when your wife says, “I don’t care”, it really means, “no”.

Continue reading →

How to Recognize Love and Feel Loved by Others

**Please read the companion post too: How to Overcome Feeling Unloved or Unwanted.

Last week we talked about how to overcome feeling unloved or unwanted. We focused primarily on how to know that we are loved and wanted by God. I truly believe that is the first step in overcoming this kind of insecurity in order to feel loved and wanted. Once we realize that God truly loves us and wants us, it’s much easier to believe and recognize that we are loved by others in our life.

“We understand what love is when we realize that Christ gave his life for us. That means we must give our lives for other believers.” 1 John 3:16 (GW)

Once we know God loves us, it’s much easier to believe that we are loved by others.

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Sometimes we feel like the people in our life don’t love or want us. There’s a possibility that might be a reality to an extent (like it was for Leah when Jacob preferred Rachel—Genesis 29). In most cases though, it’s our perception that is flawed. The reality is that we ARE loved. We just don’t recognize it. Just because we don’t FEEL loved doesn’t mean we aren’t. Just because it SEEMS like someone doesn’t care, DOES NOT mean they don’t.

Just because we don’t FEEL loved doesn’t mean we aren’t.

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This even happened to Jesus when he was sleeping on a boat during a storm (Mark 4:35-41), and his disciples thought that he didn’t care about them since he was sleeping… Continue reading →

How to Lead Someone to Christ

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How to Lead Someone to Christ

Knowing how to lead someone to Christ may seem like a no-brainer to some. However, for me this was an issue that made me extremely nervous. I was always afraid I wouldn’t do it right. Even though I had seen and heard people be led to the Lord countless times in church, I still questioned myself on how to do it. To be honest, I hadn’t had much experience personally on how to lead someone to Christ. I had only led my kids through the prayer and a couple of their little friends (it’s a lot less threatening with kids for some reason!).

One time though, I had the opportunity to lead a very special friend through the process. Talk about being a hot mess! I was terrified. This was the most important decision that they would ever make in their life, and I didn’t want to screw them up. We said a prayer out loud together (I had them repeat after me). To be completely honest, I really don’t even know what I said because I was such a nervous wreck. In my efforts to make sure we did it correctly, I pulled out my iPhone, opened my Bible app, and read Romans 10:9. Then, I googled how to lead someone to Christ just to double check! I know…I’m a goofball sometimes! 🙂 I felt a lot better because it really was as easy as it seemed. For some reason though, it just didn’t seem like it should be that easy.

In an effort to help you, should you ever find yourself in this situation, I would like to share with you how to lead someone to Christ. Continue reading →

Feeling like you don’t fit in?

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Feeling like you don’t fit in? Somebody has already accepted you…

Acceptance is a big deal. It seems like everyone I know has felt like they didn’t fit in at one point or another in their life. It’s an awkward and uncomfortable feeling. It can sometimes even cause some self-doubt and thoughts of “what’s wrong with me”. At times being around certain people can even make us feel worse about ourselves. The lack of acceptance by others is one of the common causes of insecurity.

It’s not a new issue either. Timothy in the bible apparently didn’t feel accepted or didn’t feel like he fit in because he was young. Paul had to explain to Timothy not to let his young age (or people who didn’t respect him because he was so young) get in the way of his ministry.

“Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12 (NLT)

I heard a song on the radio the other day when I was riding with Eric. It was actually a pretty catchy song, but listening to the lyrics made me a bit sad. The song was “Cool Kids” by Echosmith. Part of the lyrics say, “I wish that I could be like the cool kids ‘cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in. I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids.” I hear pain in this song. I hear the hurt of not feeling the acceptance of others and not being able to fit in. I hear a message that most people could relate to at some point in their life, myself included (“cool kids” might not even be kids). Continue reading →

9 Common Causes of Insecurity

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9 Common Causes of Insecurity

The last couple of weeks we’ve been talking some about self-worth and self-image (see the posts here and here). Those of us who have negative pictures of ourselves deal with INSECURITY. Actually, I would venture to say that most people deal with insecurity in one form or another. This is also not just an issue that women deal with (notice most of the examples in the scriptures below are from insecure men).

Insecurity is not a gender-specific issue. #insecurity

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Insecurity is not a gender-specific issue. I’ve learned that even though men and women may be insecure for different reasons, the root causes and overcoming them are the same. I’ve also discovered that there are 9 common causes of insecurity (there are definitely more, but these are the most common).

9 Common Causes of Insecurity:

Comparing yourself to others
Appearances and imperfections (external or internal)
Acceptance by others (i.e. fitting in, other’s opinions, etc.)
Feeling unloved or unwanted
Not measuring up to the standards of others (culture/society, media, etc.)
Fear
Failure (fear of OR previous failures, bad decisions, wrong living, etc.)
Tragic incident or circumstances (death, abuse, infidelity, etc.)
Getting significance in wrong things (job, gifts/talents, spouse, children, appearance, material possessions)

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Category Archives: Relationships

Feeling Rejected? Shake That Dirt Off Your Sandal

Feeling Rejected? Shake That Dirt Off Your Sandal

What 15 Years of Marriage Has Taught Me…

What 15 Years of Marriage Has Taught Me…Just a few things we’ve learned over the years…

What 15 years of marriage has taught me – Eric:

How to Recognize Love and Feel Loved by Others

How to Recognize Love and Feel Loved by Others

How to Lead Someone to Christ

How to Lead Someone to Christ

In an effort to help you, should you ever find yourself in this situation, I would like to share with you how to lead someone to Christ. Continue reading →

Feeling like you don’t fit in?

Feeling like you don’t fit in? Somebody has already accepted you…

9 Common Causes of Insecurity

9 Common Causes of Insecurity

9 Common Causes of Insecurity:

Examples in scripture: Continue reading →

Feeling Rejected? Shake That Dirt Off Your Sandal

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TOP 10 POSTS OF 2014:

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What 15 Years of Marriage Has Taught Me…Just a few things we’ve learned over the years…

What 15 years of marriage has taught me – Eric:

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How to Recognize Love and Feel Loved by Others

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How to Lead Someone to Christ

In an effort to help you, should you ever find yourself in this situation, I would like to share with you how to lead someone to Christ. Continue reading →

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Feeling like you don’t fit in? Somebody has already accepted you…

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9 Common Causes of Insecurity

9 Common Causes of Insecurity:

Examples in scripture: Continue reading →

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