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When and Where to Pray

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When and Where to Pray

In a previous post, we talked about the why’s of praying and the many reasons for the importance of prayer.  This week I’d like to share some about when and where to pray.  This by no means is a legalistic list of do’s and don’ts, but rather some food for thought or general guidelines to think about as you establish your own prayer routines.

Pray without ceasing…an ongoing conversation

As far as WHEN to pray, there really are so many options!  You can pray when you wake up, when you go to sleep, before meals, during quiet times, in the shower, in the car, anytime, or all the time.  The important thing is to find time.

I remember having an epiphany or an “aha” moment in college.  I read the scripture 1 Thessalonians 5:17 which states to “pray without ceasing” (some versions say pray continually, pray constantly or never stop praying).  Growing up, my regular (and really only) prayer times were before meals and at bedtime.  This new insight allowed me to realize that there is really no certain or right time to pray.  God wants to talk to me all day!  I just need to pray all the time.

That’s when I started having a daily, ongoing conversation with God.  I still had regular and more formal times to pray, but more often than not I would just talk to God throughout the day.  This idea of an ongoing conversation (kind of like an invisible friend walking beside me all day long) gave me the freedom to have a friendship and real relationship with God.  I didn’t even say “amen”—it was literally an unending conversation all day long (sometimes out loud and sometimes silently in my head).

I often tell people, “if people could see me when I’m alone they’d think I was crazy—talking ‘to myself’ all the time.”  At least nowadays there’s Bluetooth and earbuds, so as far as they know I might just be on the phone! The point is, you don’t always have to be formal in prayer.  Just have an ongoing conversation with God.  You don’t even have to say “Dear God” and “Amen”. 🙂

There is no “right” time to pray. Have an ongoing conversation with God. #praywithoutceasing

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Have a regular prayer time

Aside from ongoing prayer, I think it’s also important to have a regular time to pray.  Having a routine can be helpful.  I heard Beth Jones say once, “You can pray anytime, but HAVE a time.”  A regular, routine time to pray will strengthen your relationship with God.  Morning, noon, or night, God wants to hear from you and connect with you.

“Morning, noon, and night I cry out in my distress, and the LORD hears my voice.” Psalm 55:17 (NLT) 

A regular, routine time to pray will strengthen your relationship with God.

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Pray when situations call for it

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Are You Salty? Do You Have the Qualities of Salt? Part 2

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Are you being salt and light? Do you possess these qualities of salt?

Are You Salty? Do You Have the Qualities of Salt? Part 2 of 2

Be Salt and Light

“You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” Matthew 5:13-16 (NLT)

“Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? You must have the qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other.” Mark 9:50 (NLT)

In Part 1 of this post, we talked about being salt and light in our everyday surroundings.  We discussed a few of the qualities of salt and how we could display some of those same qualities in our lives.  I’d like to pick back up this week with some more qualities of salt that we should model.

In the previous post we discussed the first five qualities, this week we’ll discuss the last five and how they serve as an analogy for how we should act:

Salt…

      1. Makes you thirsty.
      2. Adds seasoning, gives things flavor, and makes things taste good.
      3. Preserves.
      4. Has the power to change the environment around it.
      5. Serves as an electrolyte in our bodies.
      6. Mixes in and interacts with its environment.
      7. Promotes healing.
      8. Is sloughing or exfoliating.
      9. Stings but also soothes.
      10. Acts as a fertilizer to make things grow.

Value of salt

I actually learned something new when studying salt.  I knew salt was an extremely valuable commodity in ancient times, but I guess I just didn’t realize how much.  In fact, I learned that Roman soldiers even used to be paid in salt at times.  Apparently, that’s where the term “worth his salt” came from.  The word “salary” is even rooted from salt.  In the Old Testament, the Mosaic Law required that all offerings presented by the Israelites should contain salt (Lev. 2:13).  Many theologians say this was to symbolize purification and an enduring covenant (salt purifies and makes things last).

Since salt holds such value in history, that same value should still hold true today—especially in relation to how we should be like salt.  Let’s take a look at some more qualities of salt…

Some More Qualities of Salt:

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Are You Salty? Do You Have the Qualities of Salt? Part 1

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Are You Salty? Do You Have the Qualities of Salt? Part 1: Learn some of the qualities of salt and how you can use these qualities to make a difference in the world around you & in your spheres of influence.

Are You Salty? Do You Have the Qualities of Salt? Part 1 of 2

Be Salt and Light 

“You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” Matthew 5:13-16 (NLT)

“Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? You must have the qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other.” Mark 9:50 (NLT)

Each college term I pray to be the kind of person that my students will look at and see as something different, somebody that stands out from their normal college professors.  I want them to see Jesus in me, without even knowing that I am a Christian.  I want to be what the Bible calls “salt”.

When I originally wrote this post a few years ago, I was so excited because I had such a great group of young women and men in my college classes.  It was really an answered prayer of sorts.  I spent a lot of time in prayer that previous summer for the students that I would be teaching that upcoming fall semester.  As is my habit, I prayed for God to place the right students into my classes, the students that I could really help and with whom I could make a difference.  Sometimes as a teacher it’s hard to tell if I’m making a difference or getting through.  From the bottom of my heart, I want to speak into their lives and make a lasting impact.  I want to be that “salt” in their lives.

Opportunities to be salt

That following fall I had some pretty amazing, strong Christians, many of them already possessing some of the qualities of salt.  This is sometimes rare on a public college campus—to have strong Christian students that speak outright about their faith.  I could already tell that they are going to do something big someday!  They are going to be powerhouses for the kingdom of God and I feel so honored to play a small role in their lives.

My friend and fellow praying mom, Gwen, pointed out that it’s pretty cool that I would get an opportunity to speak into the lives of these students in a different way.  I got a chance to impact their walk with God and their influence on others.  I got to have conversations with them on a different level.  There were opportunities to teach them and show them how to be salt in action.  It was like on-the-job training!

Explaining how NOT to be salt

That semester I had a conversation after class with a few of my students. A couple of them mentioned that I was the only Christian professor that they had (which is not unusual for a public college).  We had some discussions about classmates, friends, and professors who are not Christians, and we spoke about opportunities to walk out our Christian faith in a potentially adversarial environment.

Some of them were struggling with people who disagreed with their beliefs and lifestyle. We talked about it being pointless and even counter-productive to argue with people who don’t have the same beliefs we do.  I told them we can sometimes do more harm than good if we try to coerce, force, or convince people of our beliefs (more about that here).  Actually, I encouraged them NOT to do this for that very reason, even though it’s in our nature to do so.  I told them that it was a hard lesson I had to learn, myself, as a student because I tend to be pretty vocal.  Those of you who know me well are probably snickering right now thinking that I just made a massive understatement. 🙂

I explained the importance of letting their life (what they do and how they act) speak louder than their words.

*Click here to read more about letting your life and actions speak louder than your words here.

“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:1-4 (NIV)

or said another way…

“…Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words…” 1 Peter 3:1 (NLT)

But first…relationship

I’ve learned from experience that it’s actually more effective to live a life of example, be a role model, and show love.  Pastor Whitney George said something once at church that has always stuck with me.  He said, “You have to win people to yourself before you can ever win them to the Lord.”  In essence, before you can truly speak into the life of another person you have to have some sort of relationship or rapport there.

You have to win people to yourself before you can ever win them to the Lord.

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Before you can truly speak into the life of another person there must first be relationship there.

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So then our first goal must be to win people to us….we must love them first.  Serving and loving on people is the best thing that we can ever do for the kingdom of God.

“Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37-39 (NLT)

Walk the walk, not just talk the talk

We discussed that it’s actually more effective to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.  We need to teach others about Jesus by our actions.  Let our lifestyle and deeds speak for us.  People should be able to tell we are Christians without us even saying a word.  There should be something different about us.  We should have Jesus’ face shining in ours.  People should see light in our faces.  People should like us and not even know why.  We need to follow the instructions of Jesus and be salt and light to the people we come across in our lives.

“You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” Matthew 5:13-16 (NLT) 

“Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? You must have the qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other.” Mark 9:50 (NLT)

In order to be like salt, we need to learn some of the qualities of salt, how we can be like them, and start putting them to work.

Some Qualities of Salt:

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Prayer & Scriptures for Survivors of Sexual Abuse

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Prayer & Scriptures for Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Recently, I received a request from a reader to write a post with scriptures and a prayer template to pray for survivors of sexual abuse and trauma. Although I have not personally dealt with the trauma of sexual abuse, I have friends and family members who have, and I also work with a local Christian women’s restoration home (Glory House) where many of the women we help deal with this. Because I have not personally dealt with or recovered from this kind of trauma, I wanted to be sensitive and do my due diligence in researching this, praying about it, and speaking with people more versed than I am before I wrote about it.

As a result, I’ve written this post with the help and vetting of some recovered survivors of sexual abuse and with some direction from the leadership at Glory House. In fact, Ms. Susie Barnes, Executive Director at Glory House who has almost 25 years of helping women and their families, said to me:

“I’m still amazed by God and His ability to heal people from such trauma!  It gives me great hope and confidence to tell others it is possible.  Amen!”

My hope and prayer through this post are to provide some prayers, scriptures, resources, and hope for those who may have loved ones that are dealing with the trauma of sexual abuse. **Please note, that I am not an expert or a licensed professional and that this is merely meant to serve as a helpful resource. It’s also important to get proper help and counseling from people who are trained, experienced, and have dealt with the trauma of sexual abuse.

The good news is that nothing is too hard for God. There is hope for being healed and restored.

Prayer and Scriptures for Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Below you will find a compilation of prayers to pray for survivors of sexual abuse along with supporting, relevant scriptures. *At the bottom of the post, you will find a list of additional resources.

You don’t have to pray ALL of these things all at once or all of the time.  You can just pick a couple of these things to pray for each day or pick the ones that are most relevant. These prayers are written to pray for someone else; however, they can most certainly be adapted to pray for yourself, if you are the survivor of abuse, by using personal pronouns (I, me, my, etc.).

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The Senses of Christmas

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The Senses of Christmas

The Senses of Christmas

The past several years, I’ve really tried to slow my pace during the Christmas holiday season and really try to savor and enjoy it. One of the things that I’ve reintroduced into my holiday break is to read books, particularly holiday-themed ones. A few Christmases ago, I read a wonderful book, The Christmas Box, which gave me an idea for a blog post about engaging our five senses at Christmastime and elsewhere. I made note of it in my notes app on my phone, and just recently I was reminded of it. Therefore, today I’d like to share some insights on the senses of Christmas.

An inspiration…

In The Christmas Box (which is a bit of a tearjerker by the way), there’s a scene where one of the characters is asking an elderly widow about which of the five senses she thought was most affected by Christmas. Her response was,

“I love everything about this season,” she continued. “But I think what I love the most about Christmas are its sounds. The bells of street-corner Santa Clauses, the familiar Christmas records on the phonograph, the sweet, untuned voices of Christmas carolers. And the bustling downtown noises. The crisp crinkle of wrapping paper and department store sacks and the cheerful Christmas greetings of strangers. And then there are the Christmas stories. The wisdom of Dickens and all Christmas story-tellers.” She seemed to pause for emphasis. “I love the sounds of this season. Even the sounds of this old house take on a different character at Christmas. These Victorian ladies seem to have a spirit all their own.”[1]

This description got my mind reeling about my own experiences at Christmas based on my five senses. I tried to answer the same question about which of the five senses I thought was most affected by Christmas. Honestly, I couldn’t narrow it down to just one. They are ALL affected!

Sounds of Christmas

Sound senses of Christmas–Jingle bells

When I think of the sounds of Christmas several things come to mind, much like those stated in the book excerpt. My favorite sound, obviously, would be that of Christmas music and carols. I seriously get giddy like a child when it’s time to break out the Christmas music! More annoyingly, I think of those repetitive holiday commercials. Then there is the collection of Hallmark Christmas ornaments that my kids play over and over by repetitively pushing the buttons on each and every one…every…single…day (I secretly enjoy this though, ssshh).

I also love the sounds of jingle bells, Salvation Army bell ringers at the stores, and Christmas stories (including THE Christmas Story). There’s also the chatty banter at family get-togethers. Finally, I can’t forget the hustle and bustle of shoppers (which can now often be avoided with online shopping!).

Sights of Christmas

Senses of Christmas--the lights

Sight senses of Christmas–the lights

The sights of Christmas are some of my favorite senses to engage. I love, love, love the lights! We love to go out as a family gazing at the neighborhood lights in surrounding communities. A Christmas tree can be seen in nearly every room of our house—it’s a rule.

Decorations abound in our home too. This completely irritates Eric because he dreads the day when it’s time to trek up into the attic to drag out the countless boxes of décor. There’s just something about twinkling greenery wrapping around railings, banisters, mirrors, windows, and doorframes that gives the home such a festive, warm, fuzzy feeling!

And we can’t forget about the Christmas movies! You know my addiction to Hallmark Christmas movies!

Smells of Christmas

The smells…

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My Addiction to Hallmark Christmas Movies

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My addiction to Hallmark Christmas movies...

My Addiction to Hallmark Christmas Movies

When I asked Eric what I should write about, he said “your addiction to Hallmark Christmas movies”. Did you sense some sarcasm in that? Me too. Actually, it’s not a bad idea though. I’ve got to be honest. I really am addicted to Hallmark Christmas movies! Sadly, he’s not lying. I admit it. I’m a full-blown Hallmark junkie.

I’m a huge fan of the Hallmark channel and their original movies, albeit cheesy and predictable as they sometimes are. Maybe it’s the predictability that I like? I always know they will tug at my heartstrings. Even if they have some sad parts, I can also always count on a happy ending. Real-life doesn’t always have happy endings, so the certainty of watching one can be enticing.

Maybe the movies are an escape too? That might be where the “addiction” comes in. Addictions are often an escape from something else, aren’t they? Hallmark Christmas movies can offer an escape from an often stress-ridden and drama-filled holiday season. In the movies, we can see the picture-perfect holiday season, traditions, memories, and romance.

Where conviction and moderation come in

Many years ago I discovered that I was developing unrealistic expectations and discontentment in my marriage due to my obsession with romantic movies and books. I felt a strong conviction that I needed to overcome this struggle (that I previously didn’t even know I had). To overcome this, I had to start watching my intake of “romance”. When I started noticing discontentment, I knew I needed to limit how much I was reading and watching. I had to start practicing moderation (or sometimes even eliminate them completely for a while).

If I’m not careful, I can do the same thing with these Hallmark Christmas movies. It can be easy to develop unrealistic expectations of what a Christmas holiday should look like. Real-life might start to pale in comparison to fictional films if I fixate on them constantly. I might start to think, “Man, my Christmas stinks compared to the picturesque traditions and moments they have.” Without caution, I might forget that…THEY AREN’T REAL!!!

My conviction may not be yours

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Life Lessons to be Learned in Fantasy Football

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Here are some Life Lessons to be Learned in Fantasy Football

Life Lessons to be Learned in Fantasy Football

In 2015, I joined a Fantasy Football league.  For anyone that knows me well, this would have probably been some extremely shocking news.  Most people might have said to me, “Don’t you have enough football in your life already?”  You see, my husband and son are avid football fans…of ALL football.  My son played football at the time.  My husband coached at the time.  They’ve played Fantasy Football for years.  Additionally, my husband used to occasionally play flag football with the church.  They both watch…and watch…and watch…both NFL and college ball.  So basically, football is a 7 day/week phenomenon at our house with all the practicing, playing, and watching.  Thus, why I’ve come to despise it.  I’ve often referred to myself as a football widow.

You might see then why joining a Fantasy Football league seemed counterintuitive.  However, a friend somehow convinced me that it would be good for me (and my family), and for some crazy reason, I agreed with her!  More or less, it’s a “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” philosophy.  My choice to join them was based on wanting to be a part of something that they enjoy so much, even if it’s not an interest of mine.  I hoped that I would also learn to love and enjoy it as they do (well, maybe not quite as much!).  My friend promised me I would have fun, so I told her I was going to hold her to it!

Shared experiences

I also looked forward to the benefits that come from sharing experiences.  According to clinical psychologist Dr. Willard Harley, recreational companionship is one of the top five needs for a man in marriage.  In fact, he puts it this way, “The couple that plays together stays together.”[i]

Recreational companionship is one of the top needs for a man in marriage.

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Although I don’t necessarily agree with all of Dr. Harley’s insinuations that unmet needs are the cause of affairs, I do believe in the importance of shared or common interests and recreational companionship.  Eric and I do this in other areas too.  For example, we both love going to auctions and estate sales. We love being outdoors and on the water and enjoying a few other common interests together.

Now, football (or any sport for that matter) might not be my top preference, but it IS my husband’s and also my son’s.  Therefore, because it’s important to them, I chose to make it important to me.  Who was to say that I might not even really enjoy myself?  I wouldn’t know unless I gave it a try.  Don’t get me wrong though, I definitely still think there can be a ditch there.  When our lives revolve around football, I think that’s really sad…and almost idolatry.  For the time, though, I chose to be a part of the madness. And I figured I might as well get some good blog posts out of it as well! 😉

Here are a few life lessons I learned from Fantasy Football…

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Scriptures for Empathy

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Scriptures for Empathy

We’ve recently been discussing empathy…the decline of empathy in the present culture, the importance of empathy and how it’s integral to our relationships, examples of how both God and Jesus have empathy, defining what empathy is, some of the reasons for using empathy, some examples in scripture of using empathy, and learning how to have and improve empathy. To further enhance those discussions, I’ve put together this resource page of scriptures for empathy.

This list of scriptures for empathy provides a compilation of verses about various facets or components of empathy.

Sharing others’ emotions

“If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” 1 Corinthians 12:26 (NIV)

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Romans 12:15 (NIV)

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 (NLT)

“When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some.” 1 Corinthians 9:22 (NLT)

“Even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty.” Philippians 4:14 (NLT)

Showing compassion

“You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.” Luke 6:36 (NLT)

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12 (NIV)

“Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.” Philippians 2:1-2 (NLT)

“Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.” 1 Peter 3:8 (NIV)

Comforting, encouraging, and building up others

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