Category Archives: Relationships

Remembering the Tulsa 1921 Race Massacre

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Remembering the Tulsa 1921 Race Massacre

Right now in Tulsa, Oklahoma we are commemorating a very dark part of our city and state’s history, the 100th anniversary of the race massacre that took place in Tulsa on May 31st and June 1st of 1921. I was born and raised in the Tulsa area, yet I was never taught about this horrifying event in school. I didn’t learn of this bleak and shameful part of Tulsa’s history until I was an adult. In fact, I was quite ignorant of it. However, I’ve learned that we cannot let our ignorance further perpetuate injustice.

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” Hosea 4:6a (NKJV)

I mentioned last year, that the more I have educated myself on issues of racial injustice and systemic racism, the more my eyes have been opening and the more empathy I have developed. As my empathy has grown, my internal sense of justice has also increased along with my desire to respond to injustice.

Be a part of the conversation of injustice

I didn’t learn about the race massacre because others were silent. As I’ve also stated before on issues of racial reconciliation, my goal is just to be a part of the conversation and to be a voice instead of remaining silent. I never want my silence about issues of injustice to give people the impression that I am somehow a supporter of injustice or racism. Therefore, I feel it is my obligation to speak up and speak out into my sphere of influence.

Silence in the face of evil quote

Deitrich Bonhoeffer on events of the Holocaust

“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“To say nothing is saying something. You must denounce things you are against or one might believe that you support things you really do not.” Germany Kent

“In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

“He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

“There comes a time when silence is betrayal.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

Silence, apathy, and indifference can be a sin.

“Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.” James 4:17 (NLT)

Repentance is required

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Make Others Feel Taller NOT Smaller

Make Others Feel Taller NOT Smaller! - Great post from HappyHealthyandProsperous.com

Make Others Feel Taller NOT Smaller

Most people are drawn to the type of people who make others feel taller not smaller.  People like to be around other people who make them feel better about themselves.  In general, people pull away from and don’t like to be around those who make them feel bad about themselves.  Nobody likes to be around people who are cruel, mean, and rude (especially if that’s their typical nature most of the time).  This type of behavior is a sure-fire way to cut people out of your life!  It’s like the wrong end of a magnet repelling people…pushing them away instead of drawing them in.

People are drawn to those who make them feel good about themselves.  On a side note…Did you know that’s a significant factor in why many people have affairs?  It’s not that they necessarily like the other person that much.  It’s that they like themselves better when they’re around that person.  In affairs, those other people (i.e. affair partners) make them feel better about themselves.  

Someone made me feel smaller

I have been around people who have made me feel smaller NOT taller on a number of occasions.  Several years ago, I was involved in a situation that, quite honestly, made me feel like crap.  I was around someone who felt the need to “tell me the truth” because “true friends tell the truth”.  It made me feel very badly about myself, about how I looked, and about the mistakes I made.  I honestly felt I couldn’t do anything right, and even when I tried, that too was criticized.  It had a tendency to make me dread being around this person in particular.  Have you ever felt like that?  It’s pretty miserable.  Thankfully, I’m getting better about dealing with these feelings (okay…after a few tearful moments), but the initial feelings are very real nonetheless.

After being on the receiving end of hurtful situations like this, I wanted to make sure that I’M not a person who does this to others.  I wanted to be sure I was the kind of person that will make others feel taller not smaller.  So, I compiled a list of “Do’s” and “Don’ts” of practical steps that each of us can take to make sure we are NOT the kind of person that is like the wrong end of a magnet that repels people.  (I actually compiled this list on my phone at 3:00 am in the morning after the bad experience I mentioned earlier because I couldn’t sleep due to being so hurt and angry!)

I, too, have been guilty of making others feel smaller, not taller

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Dealing With Those Who Have Been Deceived

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Dealing With Those Who Have Been Deceived

Last week we discussed that as we near the coming of Christ and the end times, we are going to see an increase in people who are being deceived or are believing lies…either from other people, from Satan, or from their own personal desires. Deception is becoming more and more prevalent these days and will continue to do so according to scripture.

Now the Holy Spirit tells us clearly that in the last times some will turn away from the true faith; they will follow deceptive spirits and teachings that come from demons.” 1 Timothy 4:1 (NLT)

“For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths.” 2 Timothy 4:3-4 (NLT)

Unfortunately, we even see deception taking hold of our family members, friends, or other people in our sphere of influence. It’s very hard to see someone we love or care about being deceived and believing lies. It’s especially difficult when they seem so far gone and are not receptive to hearing or discussing the truth.

There is a proper way to engage with or deal with people in the midst of deception. Unfortunately, our initial reaction or human nature is not typically the best way. It will take some intentionality and purpose to interact in a God-honoring, productive, and helpful way. Regrettably, I have not done this very well lately, hence my purpose in writing this post…to resolve to do better and help others do the same.

Take Some Practical Steps When Dealing With Those Who Have Been Deceived:

First, pray for God to help you when engaging or interacting with those being deceived.

It’s tempting to get irritated or angry and sometimes even feel shocked, surprised, and dumbfounded. You may need God’s help to get out of your own emotions before you can deal appropriately with someone being deceived. You might need to ask God to soften your heart first. Then, ask God to help you have his perspective and to see them and the situation as he does. Pray that God would give you the right words to speak only when necessary and to help you stay quiet when necessary. (Refer to this link for other helpful scriptures on knowing what to say.)

“Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3 (NIV)

For I will give you the right words and such wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to reply or refute you!” Luke 21:15 (NLT)

“…don’t worry about how to respond or what to say. God will give you the right words at the right time.” Matthew 10:19b (NLT)

“Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” Colossians 4:6 (NLT)

“Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.” Proverbs 13:3 (NLT)

Next, listen before responding.

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Prayer for Those Who Are Being Deceived

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Prayer for Those Who Are Being Deceived

Unfortunately, we live in a day and age where Satan is amping up his activity in order to deceive people. He knows his time of an end is drawing near. The Bible is VERY clear about the rise and increase of false prophets and deception as we near the coming of Christ and the end times. We need to expect that there WILL BE those attempting to deceive us (and some even doing so in the name of and purportedly for the cause of Christ).

Some deception also comes, not just from other people, but from Satan or evil spirits attacking our minds and thought life with lies. Many people also start to believe things contrary to scripture, Biblical teaching, and godly living simply because of their own desires. They simply don’t want to believe the truth.

“Now the Holy Spirit tells us clearly that in the last times some will turn away from the true faith; they will follow deceptive spirits and teachings that come from demons.” 1 Timothy 4:1 (NLT)

“For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths.” 2 Timothy 4:3-4 (NLT)

When those we care about are being deceived

It’s very hard to see someone you love or care about being deceived and believing lies. It’s especially difficult when they seem so far gone and are not receptive to hearing or discussing the truth. All is not hopeless or lost though!  We can pray for them because our prayers are extremely powerful!

“…The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James 5:16b (NLT) 

After studying and researching how and what to pray for those who are being deceived or believing lies, I compiled a list of things to pray followed by scriptures that these prayers are based upon. You can pray these items in part, or I’ve also combined them as a collective prayer at the bottom of this post (with an image to save, pin, or print).

Take Some Practical Steps to Pray for Those Who Are Being Deceived:

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Dimensions of God’s Love

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Dimensions of God’s Love

“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:18-19 (NLT)

This past weekend we celebrated Valentine’s Day in the U.S. It’s a day to celebrate love. In keeping with the theme of the holiday, I had been reading and studying some scriptures on love. As I was reading some of the scriptures, something came to mind about the dimensions of God’s love as I read John 15:12.

“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.” John 15:12 (NLT)

The phrase in this translation “in the same way I have loved you” stood out to me. I thought to myself, “In what way does God love us?” Then some verses in Ephesians 3 immediately came to mind about the dimensions of God’s love…

“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:18-19 (NLT)

I also started thinking about how Paul was praying here that they (the people of Ephesus) would come to know, understand and experience God’s love firsthand for themselves. As I thought back to John 15:12, I had a recognition that we can’t fully love others the way God intended until we have fully recognized, become aware of, and/or known God’s love. We are called to KNOW and SHOW God’s love. However, we have to know God’s love first before we can love others properly.

4 Dimensions of God’s love: Wide, Long, High, and Deep

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Pray Without Ceasing

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Pray Without Ceasing: What does that even mean?

“Pray without ceasing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (KJV)

1 Thessalonians 5:17 tells us to pray without ceasing. Some translations of this verse say pray continually or pray without stopping. So what does this even mean? Does mean that I need to sit around for hours at a time praying? I don’t think so. I think this is more about turning our thoughts to God on a regular basis and just talking to him as we do this. To me what it all boils down to is this, to pray without ceasing just means to pray and talk to God throughout your day as an ongoing conversation. Prayer is not a religious ritual. Prayer is a conversation with our father and our friend, and it comes from a place of relationship not rigid or rote protocol.

An “Aha” moment

In my previous blog post about When and Where to Pray, I wrote about how when I was in college I had a sudden realization after reading this verse that there is really no “certain” or “right” time to pray. Growing up, typically prayer times were before meals and at bedtime. I remember reading “Pray without ceasing” and having the thought that God wants to talk to me all day. I just need to pray all the time and not just before meals or bed.

From that point on, I started having a daily, ongoing conversation with God.  I still had regular and more formal times to pray, but more often than not I would just talk to God throughout the day.  This idea of an ongoing conversation gave me the freedom to have a friendship and real relationship with God.  I didn’t even say “amen”. It was just an unending conversation all day long.

Sometimes I imagine this like talking to an invisible friend walking beside me (because he kind of is!). It doesn’t even have to be out loud, but it can be. Sometimes I find myself praying out loud without realizing it. You can imagine some of the strange looks I might get. I remember one time I was walking in the kitchen feeling really frustrated, drained, and overwhelmed. Slightly under my breath (or so I thought), and in a bit of a growl, I pleaded to God saying, “Sustain me”. My husband, Eric apparently overhead. He laughed as he jokingly asked me if I was demon-possessed because all he heard was a growling sound and what he thought was a “SAVE ME”. We got a good laugh about that!

Some examples of what “pray without ceasing” might look like on an average day for me

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Promote Unity

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Promote unity

In last week’s post we talked about God’s desire for unity among his people and his intentions and will for us to be peacemakers. We discussed how that if God desires unity, then we can expect opposition from Satan striving to instigate division and strife. The devil will set up some very tempting traps that can easily and sometimes unknowingly lure us right into division. We previously discussed some ways to evaluate ourselves and our intentions in order to avoid Satan’s traps of engaging in divisive behavior. In this post we’ll address some practical ways to create and promote unity and how to avoid activities or communication that would produce strife or division.

This is by no means an exhaustive or comprehensive list of all of the possible and effective strategies for promoting unity. However, these are a few practical things that we can each start putting into practice right now in our everyday lives as we engage with others. We can all do better to engage in and promote unity with the people we encounter both in person and online.

Unity IS possible…because of Jesus

First we need to realize that the ability to have and promote unity is possible. There can be unity in and because of Jesus Christ. He took two very opposing groups of people and created unity. With Jesus it is possible to remove hostility and bring peace.

“But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ. For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us. He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations. He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups. Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death.” Ephesians 2:13-16 (NLT)

I loved this quote that I read in one of my Bible reading plans:

“Unity is a keystone element of Jesus’ work on the cross. You have likely experienced the devastatingly divisive power of sin. Sin separates us from God and from each other. But at the cross, Jesus demolished the divisive power of sin. That is why the whole point of Christ’s work was to reconcile that which was pulled apart.

Stories from the book of Acts also show us that God’s work multiplies unity. In so many places throughout Acts, powerful moves of God are associated with believers being of one heart and mind. This unity was not only of a spiritual nature, but also a tangible and visible unity with solutions to real-world problems.

…God is looking for opportunities to multiply unity, because work done in unity among the people of God releases the power of God.”[1]

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A keystone, like unity, holds things together

It mentions that “unity is a keystone element”. A keystone is the central stone at the top of an arch that holds and locks it all together. Keystones reconcile or bring two sides together holding them in a stable position. God did this kind of reconciling on earth through his son, Jesus. Because of what Jesus did we were united back to God and can be united back with people. Operating in unity and peace instead of division, strife, and hostility IS possible!

Love can create and promote unity

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Are You Creating Unity or Division?

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Are You Creating Unity or Division?

The theme of “unity” has come up quite a few times over the past year or more in my readings, journaling, and prayer time. It’s not surprising due to the fact that there has been so much division in the world these days. So many things keep us divided…politics, racial issues, public health issues, gender and sexual identity/orientation issues, theology issues, etc. We truly are a broken world, and only God can mend and unite. He is the source of all unity, and he truly desires unity, not divisiveness.

Unfortunately some of the nastiest and most divisive people are Christians, which I believe saddens God. He wants us to be known by our demonstration of love.

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35 (NIV)

I decided to compile my journal notes and scriptures on the matter to write about after experiencing and seeing some divisive interactions myself this past week. This week we’ll look at what God’s heart is on the matter of unity and some ways to measure our hearts and motives against scripture. In the next post, we’ll look at some practical ways to promote unity.

Divisive interactions

I’ve written before that I unfortunately get a lot of hateful emails and comments on my blog, many of them from Christians. I received yet another divisive comment last week (which was not approved/posted since it didn’t adhere to my comment policy). The comment seemed to serve no other purpose than to attempt to cause strife, division, and condemnation. It was definitely not helpful, encouraging, or promoting peace or love in any way to myself or my readers.

Additionally, I saw some other passive-aggressive comments responding to a photo that Beth Moore had posted on Instagram. It was a cute photo that her daughter had taken of her dog crammed in a chair behind Beth while she was trying to read her Bible. Someone had replied with a couple of comments about posting pictures of yourself reading your Bible, indirectly insinuating that maybe these are not genuine and that it puts focus on yourself instead of on God. These comments stirred up quite a storm of conflict, especially amongst Beth Moore’s fans against this commenter. Bam! Division! Strife created; unity gone.

I found myself asking, “Why do people do this? Why do they feel the need to say something…to correct or condemn others…to give their two cents? Do they genuinely think that their comments and interactions are helpful? Do they not see how this fuels a fire of conflict and division? Why do people get sucked in?”

It’s a trap of the devil that so many of us can easily get lured into.

Avoid the trap

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