Category Archives: Relationships

Be Thankful–Remember What God Has Done

Be Thankful Remember What God Has Done

Be Thankful–Remember What God Has Done

“I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.” Psalm 9:1 (ESV) 

Thanksgiving seems to be a good time to reflect on what God has done for us, positive memories, blessings, and just things in general for which we’re thankful (for us U.S. folks anyhow!).  When my kids were younger, I used try to find some type of Thanksgiving craft-like activity each year to do this with them.

Sometimes we’d write down things we we’re thankful for on construction paper feathers and then glue the feathers to a paper turkey.  Sometimes we’d do the same thing on paper leaves and post leaves around as decoration, and we’d even made paper link chains before where each link listed an item of thanks (this encouraged them to think of more than just a few items in order to have a chain long enough to hang!).  Previously, I also posted several ways to try to stay thankful like this year round.

Remember 3 things God has done

When I teach at Glory House I do an activity with them somewhat similar to these Thanksgiving activities (even when it’s not Thanksgiving time).  Unfortunately, I can’t take credit for the idea though!  I think I first heard this tip from one of our pastors at church years ago.  I was taught to write down 3 things that God has brought me through, brought me to or delivered me from. They could be what God has done through victories, ways God has come through for me or has been faithful to me, answered prayers, etc.  I was then told to keep this list handy and reflect on it or refer back to it when I’m going through a rough time when things seem hopeless or bleak.

The ladies love when we do this activity.  They also usually come up with more than three, but three things are typically pretty easy to come up with and recall.  It’s just a good way to remember what God has done.  It helps us to think positively and gives us the mindset “He did it before.  He’ll do it again.” or “He helped me with that.  He’ll help me with this too.”

Remember what God has done by finding a symbol

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Who is on Your “Cabinet” of Advisers?

Who is on Your Cabinet of Advisers? Do you have people you go to for advice, counsel, prayer, etc.? We all need reliable, honest people on our team to call on when we need.

Who is on Your “Cabinet” of Advisers?

Today is the Presidential election in the United States. The role of President is a pretty powerful role. However, to think that one possesses all of the knowledge, wisdom and power in oneself to live and make decisions without relying on the wisdom and help of others is foolish. This is one of the reasons why the U.S. President uses a Cabinet, a special group of advisers.

Article II, Section 2 of the U. S. Constitution states that the President “may require the opinion, in writing, of the principal officer in each of the executive departments, upon any subject relating to the duties of their respective offices” (art. 2, sec. 2, cl. 1.). To build the Cabinet, the President nominates heads of federal executive departments such as Secretary of State, Secretary of Treasury, Secretary of Defense, Attorney General, etc. Nominees are approved or confirmed by the Senate.

We need a Cabinet too

Just like it would be unwise for the President to think he needs no one, it would be foolish for us to try to do life alone. Especially when making big decisions, it’s always a good idea to consult others. Therefore, similar to the President, we too need a Cabinet of advisers. We need people in our lives that we can go to for their opinion on certain matters.

It’s not good to do life alone

God designed us as relational beings—we were NOT meant to do life alone!

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. (Genesis 2:18 NIV)

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT)

Jesus was led alone to the wilderness to be tempted (Matthew 4:1). We are tempted more when alone. 

It’s wise to seek advice

When we don’t know what to do, Continue reading

Spiritual Alignment

Spiritual Alignment title image

Spiritual Alignment

I had to go to the chiropractor not long ago for some minor problems I was having with my back and neck. With a few adjustments the chiropractor was able to get my spine back into alignment, eliminating my symptoms of pain and numbness. It made me think about how we can get out of alignment spiritually as well.

We might not be exactly where we need to be in our relationship with God, or perhaps we aren’t completely lined up with his instructions or teachings. Sometimes we’ll seem to notice that things feel just a little bit off or not right (like my back and neck did). We may even notice that we have drifted away slightly or don’t feel as passionate as we used to. There might be a sense of dryness or just going through the motions. We may feel spiritually unproductive or unfruitful.

When we are spiritually misaligned we can become spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically depleted. These may all be symptoms of spiritual misalignment just as my pain and numbness were symptoms of physical misalignment.

Staying connected to Jesus to maintain spiritual alignment

Around that same time that I went to the chiropractor, I had spent some time reading John 15 and noticed how it shows us one way we can stay IN spiritual alignment by abiding or remaining in Jesus and his love and by God’s word abiding in us.

Pastor Tony Evans said, “John 15 says that if you will abide in Him and His Word, and He abides in you, you can do anything. You can overcome anything. Your prayers will be answered because your prayers will be aligned to Him. Jesus doesn’t want you to just learn about Him, study some stories, post some Scripture and throw up some prayers. He wants a relationship with YOU. That’s the kingdom encounter you need to pursue. It’s called: abiding.[1]

1I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. 3You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.

5“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. 6Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. 7But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! 8When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.

9“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. 10When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. 11I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! 12This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. 13There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. 

16You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. 17This is my command: Love each other.” John 15:1-17 (NLT)

Another analogy: Tires

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Don’t Be a Know-It-All—Humble Yourself

Don’t Be a Know-It-All—Humble Yourself title image

Don’t Be a Know-It-All—Humble Yourself

As a teacher, I’ve had my fill of know-it-alls in my classes. So many people give the impression that they have nothing new to learn or have no room for improvement. Many often want to share what they know and tell their personal stories, as if graciously imparting their own wisdom onto the teacher and listeners. They are the expert in their eyes. There’s a lack of humility, and most of the time they don’t even know it.

I was praying for a difficult student one time. She was a bit of a know-it-all, frequently interrupting me and others to share her own insight and stories. It often seemed like it didn’t even occur to her that she might need to learn what was being taught. I realized that some of the things she was doing were things of which I have also been guilty. Isn’t interesting how we can see some of our own flaws pointed out in others? (See Practical Step #2 in this post) As I was praying for God to humble her I realized that I too need to be humbled. Boy was that humbling! 😉

However, praying “Humble me” can be a dangerous prayer! It can potentially invite in embarrassment, looking bad in front of others, having our wrongs being made evident, or being put in our place. This can be especially hard if you’re a people pleaser or care to much about what people think about you. We might know that we need to be humbled but might not be quite ready to go through the humbling process just yet!

Don’t avoid the need to be humbled in order to be a people-pleaser

Even though the humbling process might be difficult or even embarrassing at times, we shouldn’t avoid asking God to humble us (or humbling ourselves) because of how it might make us look. Self-image should not be a determining factor nor should attempts to please others. Our aim should always be to please God, even if there’s a cost.

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 (ESV)

“It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the LORD, you are safe.” Proverbs 29:25 (GNT)

“For they loved human praise more than the praise of God.” John 12:43 (NLT)

“You like to receive praise from one another, but you do not try to win praise from the one who alone is God; how, then, can you believe me?” John 5:44 (CEV)

“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” Colossians 3:23 (NLT)

Don’t be a know-it-all!

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7 Ways to Cope With an Annoying Friend

Learn 7 ways to cope with an annoying friend...

7 Ways to Cope With an Annoying Friend

**Updated: Originally posted 5/5/2015

I’ve discovered with age that people tend to get on my nerves a lot more.  I don’t like people as easily as I used to.  Quite frankly, I have less patience to put up with people’s crap.  This has sometimes made it difficult for me to create relationships with people that annoy me I went through a period several years ago where I was having to relearn how to be a friend.

It was actually kind of weird and awkward.  I always considered myself a person who makes friends easily.  I had a lot of friends in high school, in college, and at work.  Unfortunately though, due to seasons in life, transitions, and seasons of friendships, there was a period where I found myself with fewer close friends than I used to have.  I just assumed making close friends would be easy, a piece of cake.  I had a wake-up call–it wasn’t!  It takes work.  I had to be a lot more intentional and purposeful about it.

Something I learned was that I had to put myself out there and step outside of my comfort zone a lot.  I had to place myself in settings where making and cultivating friendships was possible.  Through that process there were a lot of people that I just flat-out didn’t like.  They were annoying!  Who wants an annoying friend?  Therefore, I would immediately write a lot of people off…

Annoying friend alert!!  She’s a know-it-all (imagine a loud buzzer sound here)

Annoying friend alert!!  She talks too much (buzzer sound again)

Annoying friend alert!!  She talks like an immature teenager (another buzzer sound)

Annoying friend alert!!  She’s selfish, always wants to do things her way, interrupts me all the time, brags too much… (buzzer, buzzer, buzzer)

Common denominator

I’m sure you get the picture.  I could go on and on about why I decided someone would be an annoying friend.  The thing is, it seemed like anyone I met somehow got on my nerves.  Then I realized… Continue reading

Ways to Fight Discontentment

Ways to Fight Discontentment title image

Ways to Fight Discontentment

Have you ever struggled with discontentment in something? You know…a situation where you just feel unhappy, frustrated, annoyed, irritated, displeased, dissatisfied, or just flat out angry. It might be in your job, in your marriage, at your current church, in a relationship or friendship, in a class, on a team, or even with material things like your home or your car. I think we all at some point or another in our lives experience some discontentment with various things, myself included.

I have been struggling with a couple of these things myself over the past couple of years. Recently God convicted me about how I was handling some of my frustrations and dissatisfactions. Unfortunately I was letting my discontentment steer some of my attitudes and behaviors, and it wasn’t in a good way. God dealt with me on some practical ways that I can fight discontentment, so that I don’t become bitter or give a foothold to the devil (Ephesians 4:27). This week I thought I’d share some of those strategies with you in hopes that they might help you too if and when you ever struggle with discontentment.

Take Some Practical Steps to Fight Discontentment:

Pray for a right heart and spirit

One of the things that has helped me the most over the past year has been to pray Psalm 51:10 as a heartfelt prayer over myself. By doing this, I’m asking God to change my heart and clean it up and to help me have a right spirit in areas where my heart and spirit may not line up with God and his heart. I’ve seen a tremendous difference in my attitude (and my irritation levels) since doing this. Whenever, I start to feel discontentment and frustration coming on, I will say this verse out loud, sometimes two or three times (or more!).

Another verse that I pray over myself is Ezekiel 36:26 asking God to take away any hard-heartedness or stubbornness that I might have and to help me be more tender and responsive.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10 (ESV)

“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” Ezekiel 36:26 (NLT)

Pray for grace

I’ve also found it extremely helpful to pray for grace. This is the kind of grace to be able to handle things that I normally can’t handle on my own. This definition of grace is God’s ability and enabling power. With God’s ability and power helping us, it makes managing difficult situations much easier and more bearable.

“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Hebrews 4:16 (NLT)

Pray for those things that frustrate you

Consider this–maybe God is allowing you to be discontent in certain areas in order to talk to you or trigger you to pray for those areas. Instead of just feeling discontentment in expressing your frustrations and complaining, start praying about those issues or things that you see wrong. Pray about things that need to be changed. Find some scriptures to stand on and believe for that will help with that specific need or problem.

Strive to give, not to get, when you are feeling discontentment

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Apologizing Doesn’t Remove All Consequences

Apologizing Doesn’t Remove All Consequences

Apologizing Doesn’t Remove All Consequences

**Updated: Originally posted 11/22/2016

A few years ago my son and daughter were arguing after church. Surprise. Surprise. Why do kids argue over the stupidest things? My daughter had actually won a prize at church, a giant Pixy Stix. They started arguing over if she would share or not. When she went to put her coat on before we walked out to the car she needed someone to hold her Pixy Stix. She wouldn’t hand it to her brother but to me instead. Apparently he got mad because he was “trying to help her”. I’m sure he had other ulterior motives too. So he spouted off in a hateful tone, “I was just trying to help you! You’re a piece of crap!”

After I picked my jaw up off the floor at the nastiness that just spewed out of his mouth, I quickly informed him that we DO NOT talk like that to people. I also advised him that he would definitely not be getting any of that Pixy Stix now.

When we got to the car I made him do the 4-step apology (or as we call it now, “apologize the right way”). We had some further, lengthy “discussion” about his attitude and the ease with which he flung his verbal assault. After some conversation, the tension ceased. Something else lighthearted created peace between the two siblings again; for the life of me I can’t remember what it was now.

Then, I had that motherly 6th sense as I was driving. My daughter, the forgiving soul that she is, gave her brother some of her Pixy Stix candy.

So hollering behind me…

Me: “Are you eating some of that Pixy Stix?!”

My son: “Yes, she gave me some.”

Me: “I told you NO Pixy Stix.”

My son: “But I apologized and she forgave me.”

Me: “Apologies don’t delete consequences. Just because you said you were sorry doesn’t mean that your punishment disappears. Just because she forgave you doesn’t make the hurt you caused her disappear.”

Then I remembered an exercise that I sometimes do with my classes to demonstrate a point. Continue reading

What Does the Bible Say About Apologizing?

What Does The Bible Say About Apologizing title image

What Does the Bible Say About Apologizing?

Someone recently said to me that you can’t find someone saying “I’m sorry” anywhere in the Bible. In all honesty, it’s an accurate statement…to an extent. Those exact words may not have been used (depending on the translation you use). Even so, I had never heard the word “yeet” until my teenagers started using it this past year (insert rolling eyes and face slap). Although the exact words “I’m sorry” might not be mentioned in scripture, there most certainly is much discussion about confession (to God and others), repentance, seeking forgiveness, and making peace. The terminology and exact wording may just look a little different.

So what DOES the Bible say about apologizing?

Apologizing requires humility

Apologizing takes humility, and humility is a character that God greatly values! When we humble ourselves and apologize to others (which can almost always be extremely difficult to do), we are showing honor and respect to those we have wronged. Apologizing comes from a humbled heart, and God honors and favors this trait.

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”” James 4:6 (NIV)

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.” James 4:10 (NLT)

“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”” 1 Peter 5:5 (NIV)

“Though the LORD is great, he cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud.” Psalm 138:6 (NLT)

“The LORD mocks the mockers but is gracious to the humble.” Proverbs 3:34 (NLT)

“Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor.” Proverbs 29:23 (NLT)

“But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Matthew 23:12 (NLT)

Apologizing consists of confess your sins and making reconciliation

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