Restoring Relationship: Humility and Forgiveness

God restores broken relationships. I already knew this. In fact, I’ve already experienced this in my own marriage. Today though, I saw a new perspective to restoring relationship from the story of Esau and Jacob.

“Then Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming with his 400 men. So he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and his two servant wives. He put the servant wives and their children at the front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last. Then Jacob went on ahead. As he approached his brother, he bowed to the ground seven times before him. Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. And they both wept.” Genesis 33:1-4 (NLT)

Jacob betrayed Esau (Genesis 27). Esau had every right to be angry at Jacob and to avoid restoring relationship, even to the point of fighting and killing Jacob. Jacob knew this, hence his fear when Esau was approaching (Genesis 32:3-21, Genesis 33:1-2).

However, God stepped in and changed hearts…BOTH of their hearts. God changed the situation to the point where only HE could get the credit and glory for what took place.

Jacob humbled himself.

‘He told them, “Give this message to my master Esau: ‘Humble greetings from your servant Jacob. Until now I have been living with Uncle Laban, and now I own cattle, donkeys, flocks of sheep and goats, and many servants, both men and women. I have sent these messengers to inform my lord of my coming, hoping that you will be friendly to me.’” Genesis 32:4-5 (NLT)

“Then Jacob went on ahead. As he approached his brother, he bowed to the ground seven times before him.” Genesis 33:3 (NLT)

“But Jacob insisted, “No, if I have found favor with you, please accept this gift from me. And what a relief to see your friendly smile. It is like seeing the face of God!” Genesis 33:10 (NLT)

““All right,” Esau said, “but at least let me assign some of my men to guide and protect you.” Jacob responded, “That’s not necessary. It’s enough that you’ve received me warmly, my lord!”” Genesis 33:15 (NLT)

Esau offered forgiveness and harbored no ill-will.

“Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. And they both wept.” Genesis 33:4 (NLT)

“My brother, I have plenty,” Esau answered. “Keep what you have for yourself.” Genesis 33:9 (NLT)

“…And because Jacob insisted, Esau finally accepted the gift.” Genesis 33:11b (NLT)

“Well,” Esau said, “let’s be going. I will lead the way.” Genesis 33:12 (NLT)

“All right,” Esau said, “but at least let me assign some of my men to guide and protect you.” Genesis 33:15 (NLT)

Both brothers wept. Both wanted restoration. They each wanted their brother back.

“…And they both wept.” Genesis 33:4b (NLT)

“…And what a relief to see your friendly smile. It is like seeing the face of God!” Genesis 33:10b (NLT)

This gives me hope…

This gives me hope and reminds me that if God did that for Esau and Jacob, He can and will do that for us too as we look at restoring relationship with those that may need mending. This can be true regardless of what happened or who was at fault. God can and will change hearts of all parties involved. 

Take Some Practical Steps When Restoring Relationship:

• First, get God involved in the process.

Some things only God can mend, change, and restore. This was the case for Jacob and Esau. Some hurts and betrayals are much too deep for any human to repair or heal. These will take the supernatural power of God to soften and change hearts. Then, only God can get the credit and the glory for the amazing, and seemingly impossible, thing that took place. Invite God into your situation (God, I invite you in to this situation. Please help me. I can’t fix this on my own.). Ask God to soften and change hearts. Pray this verse over yourself and them:

“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” Ezekiel 36:26 (NIV)

• Next, practice humility. Humble yourself.

“So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.” 1 Peter 5:6 (NLT)

“For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Luke 14:11 (NIV)

“A man’s pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor.” Proverbs 29:23 (NASB)

“But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”” James 4:6 (ESV)

• Finally, practice forgiveness.

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:13 (NLT)

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25 (NIV)

“Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!” Matthew 18:21-22 (NLT)

I KNOW there are many more important components to restoring relationship and to reconciliation. However, these two (humility and forgiveness) stood out to me in this story. So that is what I impart to you in today’s post!

Have humility and forgiveness played a part when you were restoring relationship? Tell us your story by leaving a comment below!

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If you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward!  Share this post via the sharing links below.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)