You Rob People When You Refuse To Accept Help

We talked previously about refusing to accept help and how that reveals pride. There are some other disadvantages when we don’t accept help though. In addition to showing pride, refusing to accept help might actually be robbing people of lessons, blessings, and love when we decline their help.

Don’t you try to rob me of my blessing!

I still remember a lady on the news many years ago during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. She was displaced and staying in Oklahoma. The news was interviewing some of the hurricane victims, and her interview has always stuck out to me. They were telling her story of giving money to a local church. Apparently the church tried to refuse her money. That’s when I giggled at her unyielding response. She said she told them, “Don’t you try to rob me of my blessing!”

What a perspective. She knew the laws of reaping and sowing. She knew that her small gift of monetary help, even in her time of need, would yield a blessing in return. In her eyes, anyone refusing to accept help from her was actually hurting her not helping her.

Robbing others AND ourselves of lessons and blessings

Someone’s offer for help may be them trying to love their neighbor. This is what Eric was doing when he offered to help the man at Lowes (story in previous post). When we refuse to accept help offered to us, we might be denying others the opportunity to obey God’s call to help. God commands us to help those around us.

“When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.” Romans 12:13 (NLT)

“Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4 (HCSB)

“He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”” Luke 10:27 (NIV)

By someone offering to help, they are learning to love as God loves…by giving…by being unselfish. We shouldn’t rob somebody of the lesson and blessing they will get out of helping us. Additionally, we shouldn’t rob ourselves of the blessing and love of God shown to us through another person.

Rejection of help could be robbing people of love

Rejection of help might come across as a rejection of love. For example, if a person’s primary love language is “acts of service” or “quality time”, if we refuse to accept help, they may feel disregarded in return. We may be robbing them of feeling and showing love if we don’t let them help us.

Previously, I mentioned that one of my love languages is acts of service. So, when I want to show love toward others a lot of times I’ll offer to help or do something for them. Sometimes when others refuse that help or don’t acknowledge it, I feel hurt.

I think my kids can be the same way at times with quality time. Often, they’ll offer to help with dinner or some other task. Sometimes, my first tendency is to say that it would just be easier for me to do it by myself (because it would!). However, I have to remind myself that even though they may not do things exactly the way I prefer, in some cases both parties gain more this way. When I accept help from them, they feel loved and needed. The same may be true for others in our lives as well. 

Even Jesus needed help 

Before we mentioned that no man is an island. God doesn’t intend for us to do life alone. In fact, not even Jesus did life alone. So how can we expect that of ourselves?

Even Jesus needed and accepted help:

• Jesus chose 12 disciples to accompany him and help him.

“Afterward Jesus went up on a mountain and called out the ones he wanted to go with him. And they came to him. Then he appointed twelve of them and called them his apostles. They were to accompany him, and he would send them out to preach” Mark 3:13-14 (NLT)

• Jesus accepted the help of the angels after his temptation in the wilderness and in the garden of Gethsemane.

“Then the devil went away, and angels came and took care of Jesus.” Matthew 4:11 (NLT)

““Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”  An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.” Luke 22:42-43 (NIV)

• Jesus requested the help and prayers of his disciples during a time of great distress.

“They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.”” Mark 14:32-34 (NIV)

• Jesus needed help carrying his cross on the way to the crucifixion.

“Along the way, they came across a man named Simon, who was from Cyrene, and the soldiers forced him to carry Jesus’ cross.” Matthew 27:32 (NLT)

• Before he died, Jesus asked John to care for his mother.

“When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” And he said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home.” John 19:26-27 (NLT)

• Jesus commissioned help with spreading the gospel across the world.

“Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 18:18-20 (NLT)

Jesus knew the blessings people would get when they helped others. It’s not just a one way benefit. When we refuse to accept help, we are robbing benefits from ourselves AND others.

“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.'” Acts 20:35 (NIV)

Take Some Practical Steps To Quit Robbing Others By Refusing To Accept Help:

• Quit trying to be the lone hero. There’s only one savior, and even he needed help. Let others use their God-given gifts to help you. Agree to let others come to your rescue from time to time.
• Let others help you because this will bless them too. Let people use their gifts and show kindness. Allow people to sow a seed into your life so that it blesses them in return too. Don’t rob them of their blessing…or yours!
• Recognize that when you refuse to accept help from others they may see it as a sign of rejection and feel unloved. When you decline help, you may hurt feelings.
• The next time someone offers to help you, say “Yes! I’d love the help!”

What’s it gonna hurt? Just accept the help and quit being so stubborn! 😉

What disadvantages have you seen when you refuse to accept help? Tell us about it by leaving a comment below.

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If you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward!  Share this post via the sharing links below.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)