Make Others Feel Taller NOT Smaller

Make Others Feel Taller NOT Smaller! - Great post from HappyHealthyandProsperous.com

Make Others Feel Taller NOT Smaller

Most people are drawn to the type of people who make others feel taller not smaller.  People like to be around other people who make them feel better about themselves.  In general, people pull away from and don’t like to be around those who make them feel bad about themselves.  Nobody likes to be around people who are cruel, mean, and rude (especially if that’s their typical nature most of the time).  This type of behavior is a sure-fire way to cut people out of your life!  It’s like the wrong end of a magnet repelling people…pushing them away instead of drawing them in.

People are drawn to those who make them feel good about themselves.  On a side note…Did you know that’s a significant factor in why many people have affairs?  It’s not that they necessarily like the other person that much.  It’s that they like themselves better when they’re around that person.  In affairs, those other people (i.e. affair partners) make them feel better about themselves.  

Someone made me feel smaller

I have been around people who have made me feel smaller NOT taller on a number of occasions.  Several years ago, I was involved in a situation that, quite honestly, made me feel like crap.  I was around someone who felt the need to “tell me the truth” because “true friends tell the truth”.  It made me feel very badly about myself, about how I looked, and about the mistakes I made.  I honestly felt I couldn’t do anything right, and even when I tried, that too was criticized.  It had a tendency to make me dread being around this person in particular.  Have you ever felt like that?  It’s pretty miserable.  Thankfully, I’m getting better about dealing with these feelings (okay…after a few tearful moments), but the initial feelings are very real nonetheless.

After being on the receiving end of hurtful situations like this, I wanted to make sure that I’M not a person who does this to others.  I wanted to be sure I was the kind of person that will make others feel taller not smaller.  So, I compiled a list of “Do’s” and “Don’ts” of practical steps that each of us can take to make sure we are NOT the kind of person that is like the wrong end of a magnet that repels people.  (I actually compiled this list on my phone at 3:00 am in the morning after the bad experience I mentioned earlier because I couldn’t sleep due to being so hurt and angry!)

I, too, have been guilty of making others feel smaller, not taller

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Bible Study Methods and Resources for the Average Person

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Bible Study Methods and Resources for the Average Person

I think reading and studying the Bible can be intimidating and overwhelming for a lot of people. I’ve come to a place where I genuinely love reading and studying the Bible. However, by no means am I a theologian or Biblical expert. I’m just your everyday, average person who’s found some Bible study methods that work to help me read, learn and study the Bible effectively. Therefore, if I can do it, anyone can!

Several years ago we took a family vacation to Colorado. While we were there, we also had an opportunity to attend a church Bible study with some family. (I wrote about it in this post.) I really loved the way they studied and discussed the Bible because it was a similar method to how I like to study and learn. Prior to the meeting, they read a certain chapter or passage out of scripture. Then they came to the meeting discussing any insights they gathered and any things they felt like God spoke or revealed to them.

It was a very engaging and interactive discussion from which everyone in the room learned and received some type of benefit and wisdom. It seemed as though each person picked up something different from the passage, but as they shared others were able to learn from their observations and revelations too. In my women’s small group we’ve been doing a similar independent Bible study method of various books of the Bible. It’s been some of our favorite small group content, preferring it over doing book studies or an organized/guided Bible study written by someone else.

I’ll share with you some of my strategies and methods that help me, personally, to comprehend what I’m reading and be able to hear from God a little better.

Getting context

I recently read a great analogy that N.T. Wright used to describe getting a larger context for some of the well-known Bible stories and how they fit into the whole scope of scripture and plan of redemption through Jesus Christ (from the Old Testament all the way through the New Testament). He talked about how he knows certain areas of London very well but isn’t extremely familiar with how they all join up because he’s used to traveling on the Underground with no mental picture of what was above him. He mentioned that if he tried walking between the different points that he would get lost.

N.T. Wright said that many people are like that with the stories in the Bible. They know the parables, miracles, and major stories, but they often have little to no idea of the context of how they all join up and are linked and weaved together. People tend to get “carried”, as on a transit system, from one story to the next, like a spiritual Underground, without really ever thinking about how things actually moved together from one thing to another in the real world. Therefore, people sometimes miss the full force of the messages because they miss out on some of the context and the connections.[1]

This analogy is a great way to describe getting context as we study scripture. That’s why some of the following Bible study methods are so helpful because they really aid in finding and creating context for a better understanding and application of scripture.

Bible Study Methods list

Start by reading book introductions

When reading a book out of the Bible, sometimes it’s helpful to start by reading the introductions at the start of the book. In most Bibles, there is a page at the start of the book that will give some introductory information and background of that particular book. It typically contains things like the author(s) of that book, when it was written, where it was written, to whom it was written, an overview of the main points or major themes, the purpose or intent of the author, and maybe some cultural context.

These types of information can be helpful to learn before you start reading to give you a foundational context from which to start. Knowing some of these bits of information can create a “big picture” that will help you piece together the parts of the reading as you go along, making it a little easier to understand and follow along. This might be comparable to looking at a picture of what a puzzle is supposed to look like before you start putting it together. Continue reading

Why Does Jesus Get So Angry at the Temple?

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Why Does Jesus Get So Angry at the Temple?

“It was nearly time for the Jewish Passover celebration, so Jesus went to Jerusalem. In the Temple area he saw merchants selling cattle, sheep, and doves for sacrifices; he also saw dealers at tables exchanging foreign money. Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them all out of the Temple. He drove out the sheep and cattle, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables. Then, going over to the people who sold doves, he told them, “Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace!”” John 2:13-16 (NLT)

A couple of years ago in our youth group, we were reading through the book of John together and having an ongoing discussion about it during our small groups. One of the students in my small group asked a good question about the time when Jesus gets angry at the Temple:

“This may be a stupid question but why does Jesus get so mad in this passage? Jesus didn’t really get mad at people and loves everyone so I’m a bit confused on why he’s so angry at people here but isn’t anywhere else in the Bible.”

I told her that it’s actually not a stupid question at all because like she said, from what we know about Jesus it seems a little out of character. Then, I went on to explain to her what I thought but encouraged her to do some research of her own to come to some of her own conclusions, and I gave her some additional resources.

I addressed the 2 things she brought up:

  1. Why Jesus gets angry (even though he loves everyone)
  2. Jesus isn’t angry anywhere else in the Bible

Because other people probably have similar questions, I thought I’d share a longer version of my response to her about why Jesus gets angry and also give some additional resources here as well.

Why does Jesus get so angry at the Temple if he loves everyone?

I think Jesus gets angry BECAUSE of his love for everyone. In this passage, he demonstrates a “righteous anger”. He had a good reason to be angry because of corruption and injustice that was hurting people. However, he still did not sin in his anger.

Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.” Psalm 4:4 (ESV)

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” Ephesians 4:26 (ESV)
“This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do,
yet he did not sin.” Hebrews 4:15 (NLT)

Corruption and injustice

Since it was Passover, Jews from ALL over came to Jerusalem, and custom/law required them to bring a sacrifice. Many could not bring animals that far of a distance due to the cost, inconvenience, and potential of that animal becoming injured or “blemished” in some way during the travels which would have made the animal unfit for sacrifice. Therefore they had to purchase a sacrificial animal when they arrived. Some historians say that prior to coming they would have sold an animal at home that they would have used as a sacrifice and would then use that money from the sale to purchase a replacement animal for sacrifice.

In the scripture passage, the people selling the animals and doing money exchanges (just like we have to do when we go out of the country and have to exchange currency for the local currency) were taking advantage of people and cheating people out of their money by overcharging and gouging them. I think of this like when there’s a hurricane coming and the gas stations start WAY overcharging & price-gouging for gas because they know people have to buy the gas to get out of town–so basically cheating and taking advantage of people.

The focus wasn’t on God in an area designated for worship

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Dealing With Those Who Have Been Deceived

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Dealing With Those Who Have Been Deceived

Last week we discussed that as we near the coming of Christ and the end times, we are going to see an increase in people who are being deceived or are believing lies…either from other people, from Satan, or from their own personal desires. Deception is becoming more and more prevalent these days and will continue to do so according to scripture.

Now the Holy Spirit tells us clearly that in the last times some will turn away from the true faith; they will follow deceptive spirits and teachings that come from demons.” 1 Timothy 4:1 (NLT)

“For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths.” 2 Timothy 4:3-4 (NLT)

Unfortunately, we even see deception taking hold of our family members, friends, or other people in our sphere of influence. It’s very hard to see someone we love or care about being deceived and believing lies. It’s especially difficult when they seem so far gone and are not receptive to hearing or discussing the truth.

There is a proper way to engage with or deal with people in the midst of deception. Unfortunately, our initial reaction or human nature is not typically the best way. It will take some intentionality and purpose to interact in a God-honoring, productive, and helpful way. Regrettably, I have not done this very well lately, hence my purpose in writing this post…to resolve to do better and help others do the same.

Take Some Practical Steps When Dealing With Those Who Have Been Deceived:

First, pray for God to help you when engaging or interacting with those being deceived.

It’s tempting to get irritated or angry and sometimes even feel shocked, surprised, and dumbfounded. You may need God’s help to get out of your own emotions before you can deal appropriately with someone being deceived. You might need to ask God to soften your heart first. Then, ask God to help you have his perspective and to see them and the situation as he does. Pray that God would give you the right words to speak only when necessary and to help you stay quiet when necessary. (Refer to this link for other helpful scriptures on knowing what to say.)

“Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3 (NIV)

For I will give you the right words and such wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to reply or refute you!” Luke 21:15 (NLT)

“…don’t worry about how to respond or what to say. God will give you the right words at the right time.” Matthew 10:19b (NLT)

“Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” Colossians 4:6 (NLT)

“Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.” Proverbs 13:3 (NLT)

Next, listen before responding.

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Dimensions of God’s Love

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Dimensions of God’s Love

“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:18-19 (NLT)

This past weekend we celebrated Valentine’s Day in the U.S. It’s a day to celebrate love. In keeping with the theme of the holiday, I had been reading and studying some scriptures on love. As I was reading some of the scriptures, something came to mind about the dimensions of God’s love as I read John 15:12.

“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.” John 15:12 (NLT)

The phrase in this translation “in the same way I have loved you” stood out to me. I thought to myself, “In what way does God love us?” Then some verses in Ephesians 3 immediately came to mind about the dimensions of God’s love…

“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:18-19 (NLT)

I also started thinking about how Paul was praying here that they (the people of Ephesus) would come to know, understand and experience God’s love firsthand for themselves. As I thought back to John 15:12, I had a recognition that we can’t fully love others the way God intended until we have fully recognized, become aware of, and/or known God’s love. We are called to KNOW and SHOW God’s love. However, we have to know God’s love first before we can love others properly.

4 Dimensions of God’s love: Wide, Long, High, and Deep

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10 Ways to Get Through a Hard Time

Being a Christian doesn’t exempt us from going through hard times. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do. Here are 10 ways to get through a hard time...

10 Ways to Get Through a Hard Time

Have you been going through a hard time?  Sometimes as a Christian, we feel like we should always have it “put together” and know how to handle trials, struggles and bad circumstances.  Unfortunately, being a Christian doesn’t exempt us from going through a hard time.  Jesus told us as much…

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NIV)

However, sometimes it’s just hard to know what to do in the midst of the trouble.  Sometimes we already know what to do, we just need someone to remind us or to confirm what we already know.

Previously we talked about the difficulties of going through a transition and discussed some strategies to navigate through the process.  Because transitions often include “hard times”, this week I thought I would share 10 ways that I, personally, get through a hard time.  This is kind of my go-to list of things to do (even when and ESPECIALLY when I don’t feel like it).  

Take Some Practical Steps—10 Ways to Get Through a Hard Time:

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Scriptures About the Lord is My Helper

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Scriptures About the Lord is My Helper

The Bible declares that the Lord, God, is our helper. He is there to help us in times of need. That is a promise from scripture. It is part of who God is. It is one of his defining characteristics and traits. We are God’s children, and we have the one true and only God on our side to back us up and empower us. God loves us. He is for us, not against us, and he will help when we need it and when we call out to him. He is your helper and my helper!

There are times in our lives where we face trouble, when we need direction, or when we truly can’t do things on our own. We all need help from time to time. We will need help to do some of the things that God has called us to do. Sometimes that help can come from others, but other times we need help directly from God. It’s okay to ask for help, from others and from God! God will partner with us in the things that we face, big or small.

Therefore this week I’d like to share some scriptures to inform you and build your confidence in the fact that the Lord is your helper!

Scriptures about the Lord is my helper:

“By the God of your father who will help you, by the Almighty who will bless you with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that crouches beneath, blessings of the breasts and of the womb.” Genesis 49:25 (ESV)

“Then sang Moses and the children of Israel this song to God, and spoke, saying, Let us sing to the Lord, for he is very greatly glorified: horse and rider he has thrown into the sea. He was to me a helper and protector for salvation: this is my God and I will glorify him; my father’s God, and I will exalt him.” Exodus 15:1-2 (BST)

“There is no one like the God of Israel. He rides across the heavens to help you, across the skies in majestic splendor.” Deuteronomy 33:26 (NLT)

“Blessed are you, Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the LORD? He is your shield and helper and your glorious sword. Your enemies will cower before you, and you will tread on their heights.” Deuteronomy 33:29 (NIV)

“And the song was thus: O Lord, my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer, my God; he shall be to me my guard, I will trust in him: he is my protector, and the horn of my salvation, my helper, and my sure refuge; thou shalt save me from the unjust man. I will call upon the Lord who is worthy to be praised, and I shall be saved from my enemies.” 2 Samuel 22:2-4 (BST)

“But You, LORD, do not be far away; You who are my help, hurry to my assistance.” Psalm 22:19 (NASB)

“Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation!” Psalm 27:9 (NLT)

“The LORD is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.” Psalm 28:7 (NLT)

“We put our hope in the LORD. He is our help and our shield.” Psalm 33:20 (NLT) Continue reading

Promote Unity

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Promote unity

In last week’s post we talked about God’s desire for unity among his people and his intentions and will for us to be peacemakers. We discussed how that if God desires unity, then we can expect opposition from Satan striving to instigate division and strife. The devil will set up some very tempting traps that can easily and sometimes unknowingly lure us right into division. We previously discussed some ways to evaluate ourselves and our intentions in order to avoid Satan’s traps of engaging in divisive behavior. In this post we’ll address some practical ways to create and promote unity and how to avoid activities or communication that would produce strife or division.

This is by no means an exhaustive or comprehensive list of all of the possible and effective strategies for promoting unity. However, these are a few practical things that we can each start putting into practice right now in our everyday lives as we engage with others. We can all do better to engage in and promote unity with the people we encounter both in person and online.

Unity IS possible…because of Jesus

First we need to realize that the ability to have and promote unity is possible. There can be unity in and because of Jesus Christ. He took two very opposing groups of people and created unity. With Jesus it is possible to remove hostility and bring peace.

“But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ. For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us. He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations. He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups. Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death.” Ephesians 2:13-16 (NLT)

I loved this quote that I read in one of my Bible reading plans:

“Unity is a keystone element of Jesus’ work on the cross. You have likely experienced the devastatingly divisive power of sin. Sin separates us from God and from each other. But at the cross, Jesus demolished the divisive power of sin. That is why the whole point of Christ’s work was to reconcile that which was pulled apart.

Stories from the book of Acts also show us that God’s work multiplies unity. In so many places throughout Acts, powerful moves of God are associated with believers being of one heart and mind. This unity was not only of a spiritual nature, but also a tangible and visible unity with solutions to real-world problems.

…God is looking for opportunities to multiply unity, because work done in unity among the people of God releases the power of God.”[1]

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A keystone, like unity, holds things together

It mentions that “unity is a keystone element”. A keystone is the central stone at the top of an arch that holds and locks it all together. Keystones reconcile or bring two sides together holding them in a stable position. God did this kind of reconciling on earth through his son, Jesus. Because of what Jesus did we were united back to God and can be united back with people. Operating in unity and peace instead of division, strife, and hostility IS possible!

Love can create and promote unity

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