Stop Being Negative! How I had to learn this, EVEN in the most magical place on Earth…
We sometimes have to be purposeful and intentional to stop being negative. It’s so easy to get into these ruts of complaining and negativity. We tend to dig ourselves deeper the more we give in to these feelings. That’s why it’s so imperative that we are deliberate about not letting negative situations and circumstances consume us. It will take some effort to stop being negative.
Not so happy and magical
To give a personal example, I’ll share about my family’s vacation to Florida to visit Universal Studios and Walt Disney World several years ago. To be honest, at times it was very difficult for me NOT to focus on some of the treatment we received at Disney, especially with the amount of money we spent on this trip (we could have bought a small car!). I had such high expectations going into the trip because I had always heard of the wonders of Disney’s amazing customer service and how they go above and beyond to make your stay with them special and magical. Disney is supposed to be known for being the happiest and most magical place on earth. Sadly, many of our experiences there were anything but that.
We encountered rude and condescending employees at every turn, saw people who really didn’t seem to enjoy their jobs at all, received lackluster service (or no service at all) on a number of occasions, and frequently had to spend close to two hours just to get from one place to another (sometimes causing us to arrive late to reservations…thus giving an additional reason for a Cast Member to treat us rudely). Needless to say, it was hard not to be negative and to avoid complaining. To try to be positive and encourage somebody else on top of all of that seemed almost unrealistic. I’m ashamed to admit that I was not always successful in remaining positive and encouraging. I was downright frustrated.
Gratitude and seeing the good
There were times though that through frustration and all, I could see positive things if I tried and if I focused on them. However, I did have to be intentional about it in my moments of disappointment. I had to remind myself that we were very blessed to even be able to go on a trip like this because many families would never even dream of being able to do this. It was important to stop and look at my children’s smiles and see that they were making lifelong happy memories. I reminded myself that long after our trip is over we’ll probably only remember the happy times. It was also uplifting anytime I heard the Christmas music and saw Christmas decorations (FYI…Christmas is my favorite. For real.).
I could also see the exceptionally good employees and good times if I really tried to focus on them. When the lady at a resort restaurant check-in was extremely rude to us for arriving too early for our dinner reservation, we walked outside to a campfire to hang out for a while and kill some time. It was a pleasant surprise to have one of the Cast Members outside offer to let the kids use her night vision goggles to try and see some of the animals there at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. They were sooo excited! So instead of letting the rude lady ruin my night, I had to focus on the positive experience we had with the kind person who paid special attention to my kids and gave them a wonderful memory of seeing giraffes roaming around in the dark.
When I lost my phone
And when I lost my phone on Space Mountain, the Cast Member at the entrance was super nice and immediately called the loading area to try to locate my phone. We talked for several minutes while waiting for them to call back. In the process, I also witnessed her use inexplicable grace and poise while numerous people treated her rudely upon entering the ride either because their children weren’t tall enough or because they didn’t understand how the whole rider-swap thing worked. When they didn’t locate my phone she apologized and gave me hopeful instructions about what to do next.
Stop being negative…focus on the positive and encourage someone else.
Later, we texted my phone from my husband’s phone with a note indicating that the phone was lost and if found to call my husband’s number. Late that evening we received a voicemail from another Cast Member letting us know that she had located my phone and that she was following the instructions in the text message. She let us know where she was taking the phone and where/when we could go to retrieve it. This employee definitely went above and beyond to call us—she didn’t have to do that. She could have just turned the phone in to Lost and Found, but instead, she added the personal touch. Fortunately, this was an occasion where I thought to say a positive word and to encourage her (read more about encouraging others here). I sent her thank you photo and text back once my phone was retrieved.
If I looked and focused on the good (Philippians 4:8), it was much easier to stop being negative.
In hindsight, I could go on and on about what a wonderful trip it was…negative circumstances, treatment, and all! Our family made some lifelong memories that we will treasure forever. When I decided not to dwell on the bad and to stop being negative, our vacation became a great one. 🙂
Take Some Practical Steps to Stop Being Negative:
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First, be intentional.
It will take effort to stop being negative, because it doesn’t always come naturally. Feelings, especially bad ones, if not kept in check can tend to overpower our ability to focus on the positive. I discussed this a little bit previously when I shared about starting my day the right way.
“Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise (sensible, intelligent people), Making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:15-16 (AMP)
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Next, don’t dwell on the bad, and don’t complain and argue.
Continuously mulling over the negative will only make the matter worse, and complaining and arguing don’t typically fix the issue. They just make everyone else around you miserable. This for sure is easier said than done, but it IS possible (more on avoiding negative comments here). God never gives us a command without giving us the ability and power to do it…
“Do everything without complaining and arguing.” Philippians 2:14 (NLT)
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Then, focus on the good, even when the bad seems to stand out more.
That’s why the first step mentioned is to be intentional—these two go hand in hand. Take the time, especially in or after bad moments, to try to find the positive.
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)
“For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (NLT)
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Finally, try to find a way to turn a bad experience into a good (or funny) one.
Sometimes if you look hard enough, you can find a way to turn your situation around. For example, we were able to do this on our trip with a crazy boat driver. There was a certain boat driver that would crash us into the dock. Every. Single. Time. This was quite annoying, especially when I had to grab Eric’s arm each time we were docking so I didn’t get thrown into the floor! However, later we were able to laugh about it. And when we waited in line (for quite some time) only to just miss fitting on the boat causing us to wait for the next boat…then to wait even longer to see the next boat pulling in with GUESS WHO…we were able to burst into laughter and say “You’ve got to be kidding!” We were able to stop being negative by turning a bad experience into a funny one. Another way you can turn a bad situation around is to just find a way to encourage someone else. It feels good to make somebody else’s day.
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 (NLT)
“In everything I have pointed out to you [by example] that, by working diligently in this manner, we ought to assist the weak, being mindful of the words of the Lord Jesus, how He Himself said, It is more blessed (makes one happier and more to be envied) to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35 (AMP)
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Read these related posts as additional resources to help you to stop being negative:
Is It Time to do Some Spiritual Plumbing?
Let Your Life Speak Louder Than Your Words
Are You Salty? Part 1 and Part 2
What are some things you do to stop being negative? Share them with us by leaving a comment below.
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If you have benefited from this post or if you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward and share this post with them via the sharing links below! “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)
*Updated: Originally posted 1/19/16
