Category Archives: Stress Management

Wounds Heal But Sometimes There Are Scars

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Wounds Heal But Sometimes There Are Scars

Have you ever experienced some kind of pain or trauma in the past but have since recovered and healed from that? Do you have reminders, triggers, or stimuli that bring that past pain up again? Does that mean that you aren’t completely healed? Not necessarily. Personally, I don’t think that this automatically means that you aren’t fully healed. Now, as a disclaimer, let me say that this most certainly could be the case, and that some healing might still be in process (as healing IS often a long process, especially when wounds are deep or trauma is severe). However, I also believe that there are times when wounds heal, but sometimes there are scars left behind.

Even after healing, there may be times when we still experience some subsequent pain. There might even be some external or internal triggers to prompt further pain or remind us of an old injury. There may be some additional healing and recovery to be done. Then again, it may just be a scar serving as a reminder of a wound that once was there.

Let me give you an analogy…an old basketball injury

Several years ago my husband, Eric, completely damaged his ACL and meniscus in his knee. “Obliterated” was the precise word the doctor used. Eric experienced excruciating pain at the time of the injury, and the pain lasted for quite some time. He eventually had surgery replacing and repairing parts of his knee, yet afterward he still experienced some pain for a while during the recovery process. He also had ongoing physical therapy for a while. Again this was all still painful, but the pain gradually diminished as his wound healed.

Though he now has permanent scars, over time the knee was completely healed and the pain was completely alleviated. However, it’s odd because there are times when the weather might trigger a flare up of pain in his knee at the scars. Even though the injury is healed, there is a trigger for pain from time to time. The pain doesn’t last indefinitely, and experiencing pain again doesn’t negate the fact that his injury is completely healed. Nevertheless, because of the old injury he just still suffers from subsequent pain on occasion even after healing, and sometimes there are external triggers that might cause a renewed temporary discomfort, ache, or soreness.

Additionally, because of the old injury and the initial pain affiliated with it, he tends to favor, protect, or guard that knee a little more. He wants to prevent that pain or that same or similar injury from happening again. That still doesn’t mean he’s currently experiencing pain or that it’s not healed. He just tends to be a little more cautious and careful—he’s more aware. He may even avoid some of the activities that were involved in the injury to begin with.

Wounds we experience, the scars left behind, and subsequent pain even after healing

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Anxiety and Stress in Younger Generations

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Anxiety and Stress in Younger Generations

Anxiety and Stress in Younger Generations

Last week I shared about how I’m having to learn a balance of helping but not coddling my kids in order to help them build necessary life skills. Fortunately I’ve had some good teaching in this area from my pastors in addition to other helpful resources that I have either sought out or “stumbled upon” (i.e. led by the Holy Spirit). I often actively seek out resources in guiding and leading younger generations due to being a parent, educator, and church youth leader. I recognize my own limitations. Subsequently, I realize that my own perspective is definitely not unbiased and not shared by today’s younger generations and culture.

Some of the issues I have dealt with as an educator over the past 10+ years have also prompted me to seek out further counsel and guidance. One issue in particular is the rise of anxiety and stress levels in younger generations. Today, I’ll share some examples with you from what I’ve seen in my own classroom. Additionally, I’ll give you some resources to help in this area, along with other resources that I find extremely helpful when dealing with younger generations.

The rise of anxiety and stress

I’ve been pretty disheartened with the state of many of my college students lately. Although there are some AMAZING and desirable qualities in these younger generations, so many of them are so inadequately prepared for college and for life. I could get on a colossal soapbox about the sense of entitlement, apathy, poor work ethic, and lack of respect for authority that is so rampant among younger generations, but I’ll spare you that rant. My discouragement today centers around the rise of anxiety and stress (and really even poor mental health) among today’s youth and young adults.

Unfortunately, many parents, educators, and/or other influencers of youth and young adults have been a large part of the problem. I will include myself because I have personally been convicted about some of my previous parenting and teaching strategies that have enabled and even exacerbated this problem.

Recent examples of students crippled by anxiety

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Keeping a Written Account Can Help You and Others

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Keeping a Written Account Can Help You and Others

Keeping a Written Account Can Help You and Others

I’ve written before about the importance of writing things down, specifically when it comes to taking notes during church or journaling during your quiet times. There are so many benefits both to us and to others when we have a written account of something that we have learned or heard. We merely have to look at the bible to see a prime example of that.

This is something I teach both in my college classes and at Glory House, the women’s restoration home where I volunteer. The importance of having a written account of your learning and of your walk with God are fundamental lessons in my classes.

Today, I’d like to look at three examples from accounts of David, Mary (Jesus’ mother), and John to help us further learn how a written account can help us.

A written account from David

David was the primary author of the majority of the Psalms. The Psalms contain a combination of cries to God in times of despair, praise to God in times of celebration and confessions to God of sin along with pleadings for forgiveness. There are a vast range of emotions recorded throughout the book of Psalms.

What was the importance of David (and other authors of the Psalms) recording such a vast range of emotions along with cries, praise and pleadings to God? I, personally, have benefitted from David’s writings because they help me to feel “not-so-crazy”. After all, David was called “a man after God’s heart”. If he was such a rollercoaster of emotions, then maybe I’m not so bad either with all of my own ups and downs! 🙂 I’ve learned from David’s writings that I can be real and vulnerable with God.

After having written down the events and the corresponding emotions and prayers that went with them, I also think David was able to look back over them and see how far he’d come and how much he had grown. I do this too when I look back at my own journals.

What might have been some of the other benefits of being able to look back on what he had written? How have others been able to benefit from his notes and writings? In what ways can we follow David’s example of writing things down? What benefits do you think we (and possibly even others) gain from taking notes and writing things down like David did? 

I’ve learned from David’s writings that I can be real and vulnerable with God.

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A written account from Mary, the mother of Jesus

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The Name of Jesus Gives Us an Elevated Position

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The Name of Jesus Gives Us an Elevated Position

The Name of Jesus Gives Us an Elevated Position

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower; The righteous run to it and are safe.” Proverbs 18:10 (NKJV)

When I was little my mom and dad would have my sisters, brothers, and I memorize bible verses. One of the verses that I still remember to this day is Proverbs 18:10. I think one of my favorite memories of this verse was when my twin brothers were very young when we memorized this particular verse, maybe 3 or 4 years old. At mealtimes when we prayed my brothers always wanted to say the prayer, and they would say this verse instead of actually praying for the food. It made us all laugh every time!

“Dear Jesus, The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous [then they would shout this next part at the top of their lungs] RUN INTO IT [and then back to a calm, normal voice] and are safe. Amen.”

As funny as that was, this verse always stuck with me. I knew that the name of God (or Jesus) brought safety. In moments of fear, I remembered this verse and knew I could call of the name of Jesus.

Calling on the name of Jesus as a child

I specifically remember one instance when this verse came to mind. I might have been in the 5th grade (or somewhere around that age). It was winter, and we had a snowstorm that year. We started a fire in our old woodstove fireplace, and after a while we started to hear what sounded like a low roaring thunder sound. My parents noticed the chimney (it was one of those old-time exposed chimneys) started to turn red, and my dad knew immediately that we had a fire in the chimney.

My dad shut the fireplace and called the fire department, and my mom quickly rushed the 5 of us kids outside. As we hurried outside, that verse came to mind. I thought, “Jesus’ name is safe. We need to run to Jesus’ name.” So then I started to say out loud, “We’re safe in Jesus’ name. We’re safe in Jesus’ name. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.” I repeated this over and over.

Within minutes the fire department arrived at our house. Since the fire was still contained in the chimney, the firemen were able to get on top of the roof to put the fire out through the top of the chimney. The fireman tackled the fire from an elevated position (a theme you’ll see repeated as you keep reading). They didn’t even need to use their firehoses. They just shoveled some of the snow from the top of the roof to snuff it out, which was amazing because it eliminated any flooding or damage that a water hose could have potentially caused.

The name of Jesus is a place of safety

The name of Jesus was a place of safety that I ran to in that moment that alleviated my fears and, I believe, protected us from danger and destruction. There have been other situations where I’ve done something similar, calling on Jesus in times of trouble. Even to this day in moments of fear or need, I find myself whispering under my breath, “Jesus, help.” His name is a fortress that I can run to for help and protection. 

Jesus’ name is a fortress that we can run to for help and protection.

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A different take on Proverbs 18:10

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Light a Candle in Darkness

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Light a Candle in Darkness

Light a Candle in Darkness

I was talking with a friend the other day. She’s been struggling with some things in her life and is having a bit of a hard time. Darkness might be a good word to describe what she’s feeling or what she’s going through. I thought I’d write this week about an analogy that I shared with her about lighting a candle in darkness.

The smallest light

In dark situations, we need to find the light. Sometimes all it takes in order to brighten the dark is just the smallest light…like lighting a candle in a dark room. Candlelight is a very tiny light. Nevertheless, eventually that candle will light the room, and we can see other things. Our eyes will adjust, and the room will get brighter even though previously it was all darkness. Then that light will open our eyes to see that things maybe really aren’t as dark as they seem, and there is hope.

Things also become clearer in the light. In the light we can have a more realistic or different perspective. The light might grant us ability to quit seeing things from a negative point of view in order to see things for what they truly are. In a sense we are not “blinded” anymore.

Light in darkness…

Light dispels, disperses and scatters the darkness. Evil is exposed in the light.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.” John 1:5 (NLT)

“No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.” Matthew 5:15 (NLT)

“For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.”” Ephesians 5:8-14 (NLT)

“All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed.” John 3:20 (NLT) 

Light dispels, disperses and scatters the darkness.

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Evil is exposed in the light.

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In darkness we are deceived.

Think haunted house. Things are worse than they seem in the dark. Continue reading →

A Prayer for Caregivers

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A Prayer for Caregivers

Recently I’ve been feeling some empathy for caregivers, not because I’m personally in that position but because I have family members and friends who are. I see many of them suffering silently (and some not so silently!) as they care for ailing loved ones. The mixed emotions are evident as it is apparent that they deeply love who they care for, yet they themselves experience such fatigue and frustration and maybe even some feelings of failure. I’ve seen where it’s sometimes so hard to offer compassion and then the guilt that immediately follows. What a rollercoaster of emotions these caregivers must ride.

My dad has had his fair share of medical problems (and that’s putting it lightly). Several years ago he was having some serious health problems. My mom has always been his primary caregiver. During this time, a friend of mine and I were having a conversation, and she was inquiring more about my mom than my dad which I thought was odd. My mom wasn’t the one with the major health problems at the time—my dad was.

However, she went on to explain something that I hadn’t thought of prior to that. She said, oftentimes people focus more on the patient, and the caregiver gets neglected (by others AND by themselves). She went on to say how many times when the caregivers are neglected, they end up being worse off than the patient in both physical and emotional health, especially if they are older or have any health problems of their own.

I’ve learned that caregivers have a higher risk of stress and medical problems, in addition to the emotional and mental turmoil on top of that. In light of that, this week I’d like to give you a prayer for caregivers. 

What a rollercoaster of emotions caregivers must ride.

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A Prayer for Caregivers

Lord, help me remember I am doing your work.

Help me to clothe myself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love.

Help me to live out and embody the fruit of the Spirit showing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Enable me to see them through your eyes.

Help me to have compassion as you did and to follow your example.

Ease my burden and provide times of rest and refreshment.

Give me the energy necessary to fulfill my tasks.

Grant me the strength and extra grace to be able to handle things I might not normally be able to handle.

Help me not to lose my joy and give me moments of laughter.

In moments of frustration help me to be slow to anger and to refrain from letting any anger or frustration give a foothold to the devil or lead to any sin.

Comfort me as I mourn what I have lost.

Fill me up with your love so that I’m so full that your love overflows out of me–I do not have the sufficiency to pour this out of my own supply so I need YOUR supply.

Thank you for supplying all of my needs according to your riches in glory through Christ Jesus.

Help me to just be your conduit and means through which you work and help me to remember that it’s you THROUGH me.

Thank you for trusting me with this role of caring for another.

Scriptures for Caregivers (above prayer is based upon these scriptures)

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The Power of Restraint

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The Power of Restraint

Jesus was (and is) God (John 1:1, John 1:18, John 10:30, Matthew 1:23, Isaiah 9:6, 1 John 5:20). Therefore, because Jesus is God, he has unlimited power (Job 36:22, John 13:3). Maybe the most impactful demonstration of his power was that of his power of restraint—that of not using his power when he could have or in a way that we might respond out of human nature.

This power of restraint was probably most evident during his trial and while he was on the cross. Throughout this period of time and events he endured such intense suffering. Fear. Betrayal. Anger. Abandonment. Torture. Pain. Sadness. Rejection. Unmerited punishment. Oppression. Judgement. False accusations. Discrimination.

 

These words probably only touch the surface of what Jesus underwent. Yet, in spite of all this, he restrained from using the power to stop it or retaliate. It would have only taken one word to stop it all. Just one word. Nevertheless, instead of a showy manifestation of almighty power, Jesus exhibited a more humble display of something possibly far more difficult—the power of restraint. 

Maybe Jesus’ most impactful demonstration of his power was that of restraint.

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At his disposal…

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Explanations for Why We Wait on God

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Explanations for Why We Wait on God

“This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.” Habakkuk 2:3 (NLT)

“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9 (NIV)

I’ve been talking with a couple of friends recently about the draining process of having to wait on God. I’ve written before on this topic and of how it can sometimes seem like God has forgotten us or abandoned us as we’re in this waiting limbo. In that post I gave some encouragement and discussed some strategies to endure the process while we wait on God. I also shared a post with some helpful scriptures for waiting on God.

Today, I thought I’d tackle the subject from a different angle. Sometimes it can be helpful to know WHY we’re having to wait. To give some possible explanations for that, I’m going to share an analogy that I heard many years ago that has helped me tremendously. I’ve re-listened to this message many times since, and I also use it as part of my teaching lessons at Glory House. Additionally, I often refer this same message to friends…in fact I referred it again just this past week!

I love coming up with analogies to teach concepts and principles…but unfortunately I can’t take ANY credit for this one. It’s from a message that Pastor Steven Furtick did on May 5, 2012 at Elevation Church titled, “Waiting Room: Hubs & Spokes, Holding Patterns & the Supernatural Dateline”.[1] (You can watch the message here.) It’s such a good illustration that explains the process of waiting so much more clearly. The analogy compares our wait on God to some things you might experience when flying.

I’m going to summarize his main points, adding in some examples and expounding a bit so that I’m not repeating his exact message because I’d really like you to go have a listen for yourself!

Hubs and Spokes—We don’t always get a direct flight

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