Tag Archives: Communication

God’s Voice vs the Devil’s Voice

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God’s Voice vs the Devil’s Voice blog image

God’s Voice vs the Devil’s Voice

“My sheep recognize my voice.  I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27 (MSG)

I think for many people it can sometimes be intimidating to try to discern God’s voice or determining if we are hearing from God or not. At times it can be frustrating to distinguish “Is that God talking to me, is that my own thoughts, or maybe that could even be the devil trying to confuse me or get me off course?” However, there are some ways that we can differentiate between God’s voice vs the devil’s voice.

The first thing to recognize is that we are NOT crazy because we will hear both voices. I say “hear”, but most often they present as thoughts in our heads. Therefore, since we will hear different, and often competing, voices it’s extremely important that we learn to recognize the difference between God’s voice and the devil’s.

I think there are three helpful ways we can easily do this:

  1. Know the character of God and his ways
  2. Know the character of Satan and his ways
  3. Discern how it makes you feel in the moment

When you understand the character, ways, and nature of God and of Satan, then we more easily distinguish the ways and manner in which they will speak and the kinds of things they would and wouldn’t say. In turn, this can then help us to determine how to move forward with that particular “voice” that we are hearing.

Know the character of God and his ways

We can learn about the character of God just as we can learn about the character of anyone else we know…by spending time with him or by learning about his nature by the things he has done. We can do these things by reading the Bible and talking to others who have a close relationship with God. When we read the Bible, we can read through the lens of “what does this tell me about God?” in order to help us learn more about his character.

I’ve written previously about some of the character traits of God from A to Z. Once we’ve learned a lot of these characteristics, we can compare them to the voice that we hear and see if it aligns. God is peaceful…does this voice give me peace or lead me in peace? God is a comforter…does this comfort me? He is also merciful…does this voice offer mercy? God cannot lie…am I hearing any untruths or contradictions to scripture?

Once we learn and become familiar with God’s ways, we can start to say things like, “That sounds like God. This falls right in line with how he would work.” OR… “This doesn’t sound like something God would say” or “I don’t think God would talk to me in this way. This probably isn’t his voice.” When we learn more from scripture we can come to better conclusions.

Learn about God’s character to differentiate his voice from Satan’s voice.

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How To Use the Correct GPS–God Positioning System

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How To Use the Correct GPS--God Positioning System

How To Use the Correct GPS–God Positioning System

I would consider myself “directionally challenged”.  Just ask my husband.  It doesn’t take much for me to get lost.  I’m a HUGE fan of GPS now though.  Where were personal GPS devices 19 years ago when I was driving to my in-laws’ new house in Texas for the first time?  A GPS would have saved me several wrong turns and a very tearful conversation on the phone with my father-in-law (there might have even been some frantic yelling on my part 🙂 ) as he was trying to verbally direct me to their ranch.  Apparently you can turn both ways on a loop, and if you go the wrong way and then take a right-hand turn you will end up completely opposite of where you want to be.  Oops.

“Directionally challenged” in life

I’ve discovered that sometimes I can be “directionally challenged” in life too, and like a lot of people, I don’t always seek direction and guidance.  Sometimes I even flat-out ignore it.  It’s either…

    • “I don’t need your help. I can do it by myself.”
    • “No way! I’m not doing that!”
    • “That’s got to be the wrong way.”
    • “I think this way might be better.”
    • “I don’t trust you. What if you’re wrong?”
    • or something similar

Next thing I know, I end up lost or completely opposite of where I should be.  What’s even more sad is Continue reading →

7 Tips for Remembering Names

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Bad with names? Here are 7 Tips for Remembering Names...

Bad with names?  Here are 7 Tips for Remembering Names…

Do you know that feeling of panic when you see someone you know, but for the life of you, you can’t remember their name?  I’ve been there a few times.  I’ve typically done one of two things in this case.  I either try to carry on a conversation without even having to say their name and without admitting I forgot, or I go ahead and admit that I have completely forgotten their name, beg forgiveness and ask them to remind me.

Oh…there is a third thing that I hate to admit that I’ve done…just flat out hide and/or act like I don’t see them.  I know!  I know!  That’s terrible!  Don’t act like you haven’t done it though! 🙂  On the receiving end of this situation though, I think I’d really prefer the other person to just admit that they don’t remember my name.  I actually respect people more for this.  Remembering names can be tough!

It feels good to be remembered

It does feel really great though when someone remembers your name, especially if you don’t expect them to.  I had this happen recently.  I was volunteering at church and had to check in at the front desk.  The girl working there said “Tracy, right?”  That made my day!  I have probably only seen her a handful of times, and I don’t think we’ve actually ever had a conversation.  You also have to understand, we have thousands of people that attend our church and hundreds of volunteers, therefore making it extremely difficult for remembering names!  To me, it was highly impressive that she could remember my name.  It made me feel really good.

I’ve also been on the flip-side where I run into a person that has met me several times yet still doesn’t remember my name.  This makes me feel Continue reading →

How to Validate Others

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How to Validate Others

How to Validate Others

Updated Post (*originally published 8/14/14)

“A friend loves you all the time, and a brother helps in time of trouble.” Proverbs 17:17 (NCV)

Humans have a need for validation.   More recently I’ve become more acutely aware of this.  Some of you make be thinking, “What the heck does she mean by validate?  Isn’t that where you get verification of visiting someplace to get out of paying the parking fees?!”  Well, that’s one definition!  However, I’m talking about the kind of validation where we verify and recognize that a person’s feelings are indeed genuine and show understanding of those feelings.

I have been hurt by well-meaning friends, family and even my husband at times because they failed to validate my feelings about a situation.  Most of the time my feelings are either minimized or judged, and then I feel like there’s something wrong with me.  I HATE the emotion of leaving a conversation feeling worse than when I started.

Some wise advice

My sister, Shawna, said it perfectly once (she’s very wise 🙂 AND a very good validator by the way):

“Some people are not empathizers.  They are not gifted at seeing through other’s eyes or trying to feel through their feelings.  People often play the devil’s advocate, when all we need ‘in this moment’ is to feel understood, to feel someone try to comprehend our frustrations.  Sometimes playing the devil’s advocate is not what people need in their first moments.  Often they need to be understood first.  When you get your feelings out (and often out-of-the-way) THEN you can look at things constructively for purpose and dealing with the situation.”

See!  Isn’t she wise?  She hit the nail on the head.  Also, to validate someone does NOT mean that you have to agree with them or believe that they are right.  Most of the time people just need to feel heard, not that you agree with them. 

When you get your feelings validated THEN you can look at things constructively.

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When people are not validated properly, sometimes damage is done to a relationship.  Trust may be lost.  Emotional distance may be created.  A feeling of “safety” in pouring their heart out to you may dissipate.  If invalidation continues and becomes a pattern, the relationship may be replaced with another that does provide validation, or worse, the relationship may be severed completely.

Practical Steps–Follow these do’s and don’ts of validation:

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How to Apologize Effectively

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How to Apologize Effectively

How to Apologize Effectively

Updated post (*originally published 8/5/14)

“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” Matthew 5:23-24 (NLT)

I stumbled onto something pretty cool previously that I thought I’d share with you.  I think you’ll like it too!  It’s a free personal profile to discover your “apology language”.

I’m a HUGE fan of Dr. Gary Chapman, who is best known for his New York Times bestseller: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts and the series of books that go along with it.  A few years ago I was listening to one of the Focus on the Family podcasts, and Dr. Chapman was discussing the Five Love Languages and how there are also five languages of apology.  He’s co-authored a book with Dr. Jennifer Thomas titled When Sorry Isn’t Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love in which they detail the study of apologies and how people give and receive them.

Listening to the podcast, I found this very intriguing because I’ve noticed myself sometimes having a hard time receiving somebody’s apology simply because of the delivery or because it didn’t feel genuine to me.  Dr. Chapman mentioned that “If you receive an apology that omits your apology language, chances are you won’t fully accept it or even recognize it as an apology.”  The goal of their book was to help people “learn the techniques to effectively recognize and deliver apologies and watch relationships thrive as a result”.

The five basic languages of apology are: Continue reading →

The Holy Spirit Told Me to Eat a Pineapple

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The Holy Spirit Told Me to Eat a Pineapple

The Holy Spirit Told Me to Eat a Pineapple

The Holy Spirit told me to eat a pineapple. Sounds crazy right? I thought so too, but let me back up and share the whole story with you. This really is more about going to the Holy Spirit for guidance and listening…even in the small things.

A couple of weeks ago I had lunch with one of my friends. I always enjoying getting together with good Christian friends. I always walk away feeling so encouraged and uplifted and sometimes even challenged a little, as was the case when I met with Kim. After all, isn’t that how God intended for Christian community to work?

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17 (NLT)

“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

Anyhow, Kim was sharing some things with me about how God has been working in her life and about some projects that she’s working on. Something that stuck out to me was how she kept mentioning her reliance on the Holy Spirit, for EVERYTHING.

I had to ask myself, “Do I rely on the Holy Spirit as much as I should? Do I go to him or listen for guidance on even the small stuff?” If I’m answering honestly, it’s “No”, at least not as often as I should.

I DO listen to God and speak with him regularly. Also, I DO listen to the Holy Spirit’s voice. Fortunately, he’s a familiar friend that I do recognize. I think where I was missing the mark was in seeking guidance, on purpose, for even small things in my life. Things where I think, “I’ve got this” or things that seem too trivial to bother God with. Things like minor stomach discomfort or acid-reflux.

Stomach issues, the Daniel Fast, and then more stomach issues

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Funny Friday: Me Monster

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Funny Friday: Me Monster

Since we talked earlier this week about practicing how to talk less and listen more, I thought I’d share a funny video clip that came to mind from comedian Brian Regan about being a “me monster” that’s relevant to this week’s topic. (direct YouTube link here)

“Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.” Proverbs 18:2 (NLT)

Talk Less, Listen More

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Talk Less, Listen More

Talk Less, Listen More

Do you guys know people who talk too much? You know the ones… The people who when they start talking everyone else’s internal dialogue starts to silently scream, “Oh, here we go again! Can you just shut up already!?” Unfortunately, it seems to be these talkative people who don’t seem to grasp the concept of talk less, listen more.

This has come up quite a few times recently in various settings. I often have to revisit this issue with my students in my college classes, in my Glory House classes, and in my youth small group. Listening is a critical part of communication—just as important, if not more so, than speaking. You’ve probably heard that God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason—we should be listening twice as much as we speak. In fact, James 1:19 advises us to be quick to hear and slow to speak.

The harm of talking too much

I’ve written before in my post about KMS (Keep Mouth Shut), that this is a lesson that I’ve unfortunately had to learn. Additionally, learning how to KMS and talk less has been one of the hardest lessons (and ongoing for that matter) to master. I’ve seen firsthand some of the damage it can cause when we talk too much.

  • It hurts relationships
  • We come off looking like a fool
  • We lose credibility
  • Too much talk can lead to sin
  • We look arrogant, like a know-it-all, and come across as selfish
  • We can appear to be inconsiderate and disrespectful

Scriptures to encourage us to talk less…

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