Tag Archives: Friend of God

How to Pray: Speaking From the Heart

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How to Pray: Speaking From the Heart

How to Pray: Speaking From the Heart

I think so many times people shy away from praying or hesitate to pray because they simply don’t know how to pray.  Previously we discussed the whys and whens and wheres of praying.  I’d like to spend a little time now on the hows.  We’ll look at some of the best ways to speak to and approach God.  Discussing in a few different posts, I’ll share some ways of “how to pray”.  In this post, I’ll focus on how to pray by speaking from the heart.

Many people are reluctant to pray simply because they don’t know how to pray.

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Afraid of not doing it “right”

I know from personal experience that praying can seem intimidating (especially if you have to pray out loud).  I’ve always been a rule-follower, and sometimes I’ve been reluctant to pray for fear of not doing it right.  I was afraid that God wouldn’t hear me or answer me if I didn’t know how to pray correctly or follow the right pattern or recipe for prayer.  I’ve heard so MANY formulas over the years!  Which one is the right one?  Which one do I use for which occasion?  What if I get it wrong?  What if I leave a step out?

Well, I’ve learned that there are really many effective ways you can pray.  However, all in all, the most important thing I’ve learned is that God is understanding and meets you where you are.  Contrary to popular thinking, He’s NOT a legalistic God who says, “Oh…you didn’t give praise and thanks first before making a request of me. Too bad, so sad.  Guess you’re not going to get your prayer answered this time.”  God cares more about speaking from the heart than He cares about the specific words or the way that we pray. He wants us to pour our hearts out to Him and be just honest.  He wants us to just be ourselves with Him. God already knows what we think and feel anyway.

“The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].” James 5:16 (AMP)  

God cares more about speaking from the heart than He cares about the specific words or way we pray.

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Want powerful and effective prayers? Don’t be fake.

It’s the earnest and heartfelt prayers that are the powerful and effective ones.  For me, it’s such a turn-off when I hear prayers that sound so fake and ingenuine.  Prayers like…

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Importance of the Right Friends

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Importance of the Right Friends

Importance of the Right Friends

“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” (Proverbs 12:26 NIV)

In the previous post we talked about the importance of choosing friends wisely. More specifically, we discussed avoiding unequally yoked friendships. We focused primarily on what it means to be unequally yoked in close relationships. However, we did not spend a lot of time on the reasons why we should avoid these kinds of friendships. Therefore, in this week’s post I’d like to spend more time on the importance of the right friends.

When discussing unequally yoked team animals or draft animals, we mentioned that the mismatch can cause the animals to veer off path or course (even going in circles). The disparity can also lead to burdens on one or both of the animals, a loss of strength and energy, a loss of momentum and forward progression, a slower speed, and basically the animals are working against each other preventing both from completing the tasks set before them.

This is also true when we don’t have relationships with the right friends. Bad friends can endanger our course in life and turn us away from the right direction. They can also cause us undue burdens, deplete our energy and strength (mentally, emotionally, AND spiritually). Not having the right friends can slow us down and hinder our progress in life.

Friends can impact the direction of our life

We must guard our hearts when choosing the right friends. The bible says our hearts determine the course of our life. Therefore, not having the right friends (who affect our heart) can have a tremendous negative impact on the course and direction of our life.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Similarly, there’s another saying that goes, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” Both quotes allude to the power that friendships have on our progress in life and in our future.

Our friendships have significant impact on us. There are negative ramifications and consequences when we don’t have the right friends.

Here are a few listed in scripture: Continue reading →

Unequally Yoked Friendships

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Unequally Yoked Friendships

Unequally Yoked Friendships

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV)

As a college instructor, a church youth small group leader, and a parent of a teen, I get the opportunity to work with a lot of teens and young adults. A frequent conversation that comes up in each of these roles is that of friendships and choosing friends wisely. Even more specifically, we discuss “unequally yoked friendships” and when/why to engage in them or avoid them.

What does unequally yoked actually mean?

The bible often uses agricultural terms due to the relevance to the culture of that time. People could more easily understand spiritual principles when described with an agricultural analogy because it was relatable to something they already knew and understood.

A “yoke” is a wooden crosspiece, harness, or device that is fastened over the necks of two draft animals (usually oxen) and attached to the plow or cart that they are to pull (see the picture at the top of this post). “Yoke” is also a verb meaning to join, link, or unite something. Therefore, to unequally yoke two animals would be to join or link two animals together that are unequal in size, strength, or capability or to link two different kinds of animals (Deuteronomy 22:10).

If a person were to plow a field with unequally yoked animals, we could probably imagine the problems that could arise…uneven plowing or circular plowing, the smaller/weaker animal can’t keep up, the larger/stronger animal gets slowed down, more burden is put on the larger/stronger animal, etc. The uneven match puts the animals at odds with one another preventing them from being able to work together to perform the task set before them.

What does it mean when applied to our relationships and not team animals?

Therefore, as a relational analogy to be unequally yoked refers to linking, joining, or uniting two people that are not likeminded or differ in morals, values, and/or beliefs. Specifically in 2 Corinthians 6:14 it mentions not to be yoked with unbelievers, in other words, not to be spiritually mismatched.

Does it only apply to dating or marriage?

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A Letter to My Teenage Niece on Unhealthy Friendships

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A Letter to My Teenage Niece on Unhealthy Friendships

A Letter to My Teenage Niece on Unhealthy Friendships

Why are teen and preteen friendships so hard sometimes? Especially with girls. I know young girls who insist on remaining in unhealthy friendships that aren’t good for them. They stay friends with people who hurt them on a regular basis, over and over. Hey, I’ve BEEN that girl! Sadly, this wasn’t just as a teen either!

I currently know a few young girls who are struggling with healthy boundaries in friendships. My precious niece has given me permission to publish a letter of advice and perspective to her in hopes that others may benefit in their own friendships as well.

Dear sweet niece,

I’m so sorry that you’ve been having a hard time in some of your friendships lately. It breaks my heart to see you get hurt. Sometimes I wish I could let a few of those girls have a piece of my mind. On the other hand, there are times when I want to scream at you too for letting them treat you this way! Then I remember that I’ve been where you stand, even in my adult years. So, I get it.

But why do we continue to endure these harm-inflicting relationships? It’s because we don’t want to be alone. We’d rather be with people who, deep inside, we know aren’t good for us, than to fathom the pangs of loneliness. The problem is…we’re still lonely.

I mentioned a quote in a blog post that I wrote a while back… “There’s only one thing worse than being single and lonely.  It’s being married and lonely.” The quote referenced being married versus being single. However, this can pertain to unhealthy friendships too. Just like marriage doesn’t exempt us from feelings of loneliness, neither do friendships. Booker T. Washington once said, “Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone than in bad company.” 

Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone than in bad company. –Booker T Washington

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I’d like to give you a little bit of advice from my perspective about what I’ve learned and what God has shown me about some unhealthy friendships.

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