Overcome Insecurity Caused by a Tragic Circumstance or Incident 

Sadly many of us have had the misfortune of dealing with a tragic circumstance or incident in our lives which can lead to insecurities and affect our self-esteem and self-worth.  Painful and traumatic experiences can affect our identity and how we view ourselves.  Tamar in the bible had to deal with a tragic circumstance of being raped by her half-brother, Amnon, and she felt shame and lived in desolation thereafter.

“But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her … But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying … so Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house.” 2 Samuel 13:14, 19, 20b (NLT)  

There are a variety of traumatic experiences that could affect our perceived worth and value.  Death is a tragic circumstance that can sometimes cause low self-esteem.  When we lose someone close to us, we not only lose that person but we lose the role that we played with that person which can sometimes affect our self-worth.  We could potentially have feelings of insignificance, uncertainty, vulnerability, fear of the future, feeling of no longer being needed, etc.  These same types of feelings can accompany a divorce (a death of sorts) and even a traumatic health problem or injury (cancer, debilitating injury, etc.) in addition to insecurities about appearances if they have been altered in any way.  God HATES death and sickness and the pain and negative side effects that accompany them.  God wants to set us free from these and heal us (physically and emotionally).

“And the last enemy to be destroyed is death.” 1 Corinthians 15:26 (NLT)

“Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:4-5 (NIV)

Abuse (emotional, physical or sexual) is a tragic circumstance that can make us feel like we have little value.  It can lead to feelings that we are “damaged goods” or guilt that maybe we deserved the abuse somehow.  Many people that have suffered abuse start to believe the lie that they are worthless and aren’t deserving of love and affection.  God HATES abuse.  He wants to protect and avenge us from this.

“The LORD examines both the righteous and the wicked. He hates those who love violence.” Psalm 11:5 (NLT)

Infidelity (emotional, physical, or pornographic) is definitely a tragic circumstance that affects one’s self-esteem and one’s worth and value.  Often those on the receiving end of infidelity feel that if they were “enough” then the infidelity wouldn’t have happened.  This can lead to feelings of being unloved or unwanted as well as leading to comparisons with the other person(s) involved (i.e. affair partners or pornographic images).  The unfaithful person also struggles with negative feelings—especially guilt and a low sense of self-worth because of the pain that they have caused their loved one.  God HATES infidelity and the pain of the aftermath that it causes.  He wants to restore and heal people in these situations.

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Hebrews 13:4 (NIV)

“But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28 (NLT)

I’m sure there are many, many other examples of traumatic incidents that lead to insecurity other than the few examples I’ve given here.  Ultimately God hates them all.  He wants to free us from the pain that they cause.  He wants us to see ourselves the way HE sees us and get an accurate view of our self-worth and value.  

If you are a victim of a tragic circumstance, God wants you to know: Continue reading →