The “Right Way” to Practice Spiritual Disciplines

I’ve been seeing and hearing a lot of Bible teachers (bloggers, speakers, influencers, etc.) teaching about the “right way” to practice spiritual disciplines such as reading scripture, studying the Bible, hearing from God, praying, praising, journaling, fasting, evangelizing, discipling others, teaching others, etc. While I know this teaching is usually good-intentioned, so much of it comes across like and feels a bit condescending and condemning…and honestly, even a little bit arrogant and know-it-all-ish too.

Recently, I’ve even been getting some chastising emails and comments about the “right way” to quote scripture and the correct translation to use. (Most remarks are reprimanding me for not using King James Version ONLY when I quote scripture.) People send emails and comments that I’m not leading people to Christ in the “right way” or not approaching how we should pray in the “right way”. I’m amazed that people truly believe there is only one “right way” to do things and that God leaves so little room for margin in how we should have relationship with him.

I don’t believe this to be so.

I really believe that God is not quite that rigid and will meet us where we are. What I’ve personally learned is that God is pretty forgiving, and there is a lot of grace. Even when there might be a preferred, better, more effective, or more efficient way to do any of these spiritual disciplines, God can and will still work regardless of any of our mistakes or misgivings. Jesus clearly demonstrated that he is not legalistic. Jesus is loving, not legalistic. Even if we are not where we might need to be, he will lovingly and patiently guide us there.

I say all the time… ”God will meet you where you are.”

Promoting a “right way” can lead to self-righteousness

As I was reading my Bible this past week, my belief that there is not only one “right way” to practice spiritual disciplines was reinforced.

Matthew 9:14-17 (NLT)

“One day the disciples of John the Baptist came to Jesus and asked him, “Why don’t your disciples fast like we do and the Pharisees do?”

Jesus replied, “Do wedding guests mourn while celebrating with the groom? Of course not. But someday the groom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast.

“Besides, who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before.

“And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the old skins would burst from the pressure, spilling the wine and ruining the skins. New wine is stored in new wineskins so that both are preserved.””

I was reading Matthew 9:14-17 where John the Baptist’s disciples came to Jesus and asked why his disciples didn’t fast. Jesus replied with comments about celebrating not morning when with a groom, not patching old clothes with new cloth, and not putting new wine in old wineskins.

As I read Matthew Henry’s commentary, I understood this better. Henry suggested that believing and professing that their practices were the “right way” was likened to being self-righteous because they boasted about the way they did things, such as fasting often. Henry states,

“There is a proneness in professors to brag of their own performance in religion, especially if there by any thing extraordinary in them; nay, and not only to boast of them before men, but to plead them before God, and confide in them as a righteousness.”^[1]

Dependence on a “right way” leads to spiritual bondage

There is an implication that the dependence on certain spiritual disciplines being done in a certain manner then creates a spirit of bondage. While the disciplines are indeed good, we should not become a slave to them. I’ve seen this personally where the disciplines and the procedures then become so rote they lose their meaning and significance. They can have a tendency to merely become an item to check off of a list or something that we do out of legalism, compulsion, or obligation without our heart truly being in it. We are not really “delighting” in it as scripture encourages us to do. God cares more about our heart behind the disciplines, rather than if we are doing it the right way. We can’t get so focused on the practice that we lose sight of God and our reason behind the spiritual discipline, to begin with.

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.” Psalm 1:1-2 (NKJV)

“And when you pray, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.” Matthew 6:7 (AMP)

“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”” 1 Samuel 16:7 (NKJV)

“A person may think their own ways are right, but the LORD weighs the heart.” Proverbs 21:2 (NIV)

Relationship outweighs practicing disciplines the right way

God cares more about the relationship than following a certain practice or discipline the right way. It’s more important to KNOW God and to be KNOWN BY him than to do the right things in the right way. Again, it’s about relationship, not just religious practices.

“I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings.” Hosea 6:6 (NLT)

““Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’” Matthew 7:21-23 (NLT)

“This is what the LORD says: “Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the LORD who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the LORD, have spoken!” Jeremiah 9:23-24 (NLT)

“So now that you know God (or should I say, now that God knows you), why do you want to go back again and become slaves once more to the weak and useless spiritual principles of this world? You are trying to earn favor with God by observing certain days or months or seasons or years. I fear for you. Perhaps all my hard work with you was for nothing. Dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to live as I do in freedom from these things, for I have become like you Gentiles—free from those laws. You did not mistreat me when I first preached to you.” Galatians 4:9-12 (NLT)

“But if anyone loves God, he is known by God.” 1 Corinthians 8:3 (ESV)

Some spiritual disciplines are built up over time

One thing Matthew Henry pointed out in his commentary on Matthew 9:14-17 was that Jesus’ disciples may not have had sufficient strength for the same spiritual disciplines observed by others. Henry said, “Christ’s disciples were not able to bear these severe exercises so well as those of John and the Pharisees.“^[2] He mentioned that John’s disciples and these Pharisees may have been from sects that were specially trained in strict discipline and led a more austere life. They may have also practiced such things for a period of time.

Whereas Christ’s disciples were just regular, untrained men who had been taken directly from their everyday, non-religious jobs. They were not used to such rigid practices and were unlikely to adopt them immediately. Henry said, “Some duties of religion are harder and more difficult than others, like new cloth and new wine, which require most intenseness of mind, and are most displeasing to flesh and blood; such are religious fasting and the duties that attend it.”^[3]

Henry said that disciples passed through a state of infancy and that not everyone is the same (i.e. “not all his scholars in the same form”^[4]). Everybody is different, and there will not be a cookie-cutter method that works for everyone. God will NOT condemn us if we don’t do it the “right way”.

Those young in faith and not experienced or familiar with spiritual disciplines should not be obligated to observe rigid and difficult practices or they will become discouraged. Spiritual growth and some spiritual disciplines will require slow growth—it’s a process.

Matthew Henry’s commentary on spiritual disciplines requiring strength:

“That they had not strength sufficient for that duty. This is set forth in two similitudes, one of putting new cloth into an old garment, which does but pull the old to pieces (Matt. 9:16); the other of putting new wine into old bottles, which does but burst the bottles, Matt. 9:17. Christ’s disciples were not able to bear these severe exercises so well as those of John and of the Pharisees, which the learned Dr. Whitby gives this reason for:

There were among the Jews not only sects of the Pharisees and Essenes, who led an austere life, but also schools of the prophets, who frequently lived in mountains and deserts, and were many of them Nazarites; they had also private academies to train men up in a strict discipline; and possibly from these many of John’s disciples might come, and many of the Pharisees; whereas Christ’s disciples, being taken immediately from their callings, had not been used to such religious austerities, and were unfit for them, and would by them be rather unfitted for their other work. Note,

(1.) Some duties of religion are harder and more difficult than others, like new cloth and new wine, which require most intenseness of mind, and are most displeasing to flesh and blood; such are religious fasting and the duties that attend it.

(2.) The best of Christ’s disciples pass through a state of infancy; all the trees in Christ’s garden are not of a growth, nor all his scholars in the same form; there are babes in Christ and grown men.

(3.) In the enjoining of religious exercises, the weakness and infirmity of young Christians ought to be considered: as the food provided for them must be such as is proper for their age (1 Cor. 3:2; Heb. 5:12), so must the work be that is cut out for them. Christ would not speak to his disciples that which they could not then bear, John 16:12. Young beginners in religion must not be put upon the hardest duties at first, lest they be discouraged.

Such as was God’s care of his Israel, when he brought them out of Egypt, not to lead them by the way of the Philistines (Exod. 13:17, 18), and such as was Jacob’s care of his children and cattle, not to overdrive them (Gen. 33:13), such is Christ’s care of the little ones of his family, and the lambs of his flock: he gently leads them. For want of this care, many times, the bottles break, and the wine is spilled; the profession of many miscarries and comes to nothing, through indiscretion at first. Note, There may be over—doing even in well—doing, a being righteous over-much; and such an over—doing as may prove an undoing through the subtlety of Satan.”^[5]

God does not want us burdened

God does not want us burdened. In fact, Jesus called the burdened to him to get rest. What God asks of us should not be burdensome.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

“Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.” 1 John 5:3 (NLT)

Jesus reprimanded those who burdened people and crushed them with unbearable religious demands. Many obligations and spiritual disciplines demanded of people and an insistence on the “right way” to practice them often include “man-made rules”. Much of it was never something God explicitly required.

““Yes,” said Jesus, “what sorrow also awaits you experts in religious law! For you crush people with unbearable religious demands, and you never lift a finger to ease the burden.” Luke 11:46 (NLT) (also Matthew 23:4)

The ESV translation says, “you load people with burdens hard to bear”

The AMP translation says, “you weigh men down with burdens [man-made rules, unreasonable requirements] which are hard to bear”

As I teach about spiritual disciplines, my goal is to provide support in the form of resources, tips, practical steps, etc. Everything you find at HappyHealthyandProsperous.com should be a help, not a hindrance. My heart is NEVER to burden people with legalistic obligations or condescension. Please don’t let others do this to you either. Know that God is FOR you not against you, and he will meet you where you are!

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31 (ESV)

Take Some Practical Steps to Practice Spiritual Disciplines the “Right Way”:

• First, please be reassured that there is NOT necessarily a “right way” to practice spiritual disciplines!

Don’t feel condemned if you don’t practice spiritual disciplines (such as reading scripture, studying the Bible, hearing from God, praying, praising, journaling, fasting, evangelizing, discipling others, teaching others, etc.) in EXACTLY the way others say you should. There is not only one right way. God is not that rigid, as you will learn about his character by reading the scriptures. Don’t be hard on yourself, and don’t let others be hard on you either.

• Secondly, recognize that those demanding that there is only one right way of practicing spiritual disciplines may be operating in self-righteousness.

This is a caution for you not to behave this way either and demand similar things of others that you might influence or disciple. Be cautious of becoming prideful and recognize when others might be operating in pride also.

• Third, take caution that you don’t fall into the trap of spiritual bondage by believing that there is a “right way” to practice spiritual disciplines.

This can cause you to do things out of obligation only without your heart truly being in the practice.

• Next, realize that God’s goal with you is relationship, not rituals or “right ways”.

Get to know him and be known by him instead of focusing so much on techniques or approaches.

• Then, be flexible and build endurance and strength over time with spiritual disciplines.

Don’t overwhelm yourself or attempt to do so much that it becomes discouraging for you. Remember your spiritual growth will be slow. Don’t pressure yourself to do what others are doing or to do them in the same way they are doing them.

• Finally, don’t burden yourself and don’t burden others with unbearable religious demands or man-made rules and unreasonable requirements.

Try to see ways, techniques, and approaches as suggestions to try out. Try them on for size. See what works for you. See what helps and what your personal preferences are. Remember that God will meet you where you are!

Have you felt a burden or obligation to practice some spiritual discipline in the “right way”? How has that hindered you? Tell us about it by leaving a comment below!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are rude, disrespectful, sarcastic, offensive, or off-topic.  By posting on this site you agree to my Comment Policy.

P.S.  If you liked this post, you might enjoy receiving new posts delivered right to your inbox each week!  Sign up here. 

If you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward!  Share this post via the sharing links below.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

1. Henry, Matthew. “Matthew Henry’s Commentary – Bible Gateway.” Bible Gateway, www.biblegateway.com/resources/matthew-henry/Matt.9.14-Matt.9.17. ↑
2. Henry, Matthew. “Matthew Henry’s Commentary – Bible Gateway.” Bible Gateway, www.biblegateway.com/resources/matthew-henry/Matt.9.14-Matt.9.17. ↑
3. Henry, Matthew. “Matthew Henry’s Commentary – Bible Gateway.” Bible Gateway, www.biblegateway.com/resources/matthew-henry/Matt.9.14-Matt.9.17. ↑
4. Henry, Matthew. “Matthew Henry’s Commentary – Bible Gateway.” Bible Gateway, www.biblegateway.com/resources/matthew-henry/Matt.9.14-Matt.9.17. ↑
5. Henry, Matthew. “Matthew Henry’s Commentary – Bible Gateway.” Bible Gateway, www.biblegateway.com/resources/matthew-henry/Matt.9.14-Matt.9.17. ↑