Tips for Spending Time With God

On occasion readers post comments on different blog posts that I feel deserve more attention than just a reply at the bottom of a post. This week is one of those occasions. A reader recently posted a comment with some questions on my post “How to Overcome Feeling Unloved or Unwanted”. I’d like to take some time to answer her questions and provide some additional resources that I think might be helpful for her and others struggling with spending time with God.

This might also be a timely message for others too since the start of the year is a common time to evaluate spiritual growth and set some goals to grow stronger and spend more time with God. You might find some good tips within the post or other resources to help you kick start and/or maintain some of your spiritual New Year’s resolutions.  You can also check out Tips to Start Reading the Bible on a Regular Basis for some extra help and encouragement too.

A comment from Tina

“As great as this article is, I still can’t grasp the concept that “God” loves me…I know partly this is due to me not spending enough time in his word, but for me I never really got much of a true understanding of the Bible and his Word 1. How do I know what to read? 2. What is enough time to spend with God?

I find comfort in being around others… amongst other things, but I want to find comfort in God. 2016 was a very very hard year for me. For the past 4 or 5 months I have felt so UNLOVED, lonely, and rejected…I have prayed countless times for God to just take me away, because the pain I feel on most days has become the norm.

It hurts the most when the one person you love, says one thing but acts different….the same person that I once was all he ever wanted and because I have felt so unloved my entire life, once the triggers started happening it made me become clingy and probably push him away (although he never said it)…My point is not to get advice on the above, but instead I feel the most unloved when things like this happen.

I wish I had the belief, peace, joy, and faith, but honestly it is hard for me to fathom that there is a God…I am very skeptical, logical, and need to be in control and those 3 things are disastrous to truly believing. I get so discouraged about this. I have prayed endless prayers to stop my unbelief and doubt, to prayers about understanding, etc.

I can’t take any more on my own the stress, sadness, and heartache is making me sick. It is so hard to see and understand God when you feel like everything is against you. I truly wish I was stronger, more confidence, and self-esteem. I wish someone (outside of God) would love me like I love. I am so genuine and all that’s brought me is heartache. I sit in my room or in my car with just with tears flowing wondering what I could have done in my life to feel like this. I am hurting and can only hope that I can find happiness and joy inside of me.”

Dear Tina…

I’m so sorry that you are feeling the way that you do, but I am truly honored that you came to my post and are reaching out to me. I’m afraid that there isn’t a quick fix for the way that you are feeling. Most likely, with some intentional action on your part, you will probably experience a relief from these feelings a little at a time.  I truly do believe that by spending regular time with God you will find happiness and joy again, in addition to growing in strength, confidence and self-esteem too.

To answer your first 2 questions about spending time with God, I’d like to first mention that you might find “10 Steps to an Effective Quiet Time” as a helpful resource in learning some tips on spending some quality and productive time with God. I teach these same steps to the women who come to the women’s restoration home where I teach/volunteer, and many of them struggle with some of the same feelings as you do. However, I would still like to answer your questions more specifically.

What to read

To determine how you know what to read, it’s really just a personal preference. My advice is to start small and work your way from there. One of the easiest ways to do this is to use YouVersion (aka Bible.com) which also has a free app for smart phones. I personally prefer the app and literally use it every single day.

YouVersion/Bible app has countless reading plans that you can choose from. This makes deciding what to read easy because it’s already spelled out for you each day and you can check it off as you go. If you miss a day or two, you can click “catch me up” to get back on track. The reading plan options vary from books of the bible, to topical (plans on relationships, feelings, faith, encouragement, etc.), to seasonal plans (Christmas, New Year, Easter, etc.), or even to type/role (plans for students, women, mothers, wives, leaders, etc.). Your choices are endless. Then, when you finish one plan, you can start a new one. Sometimes I even read several plans at a time, but I don’t recommend this if you are just starting out.

Honestly, I would pick something that interests you or something you feel “drawn” to. Whatever you decide, God can use ANYTHING to speak to you. So, don’t stress about it too much or overthink it. Just start somewhere, and then stay consistent in reading each day.

How much time to spend

Now, how much is enough time with God? Well, that’s almost a loaded question. I’m not sure there is a “right” answer. I do know that you need to spend daily time with God. We’re instructed to do so in the bible.

“Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” Joshua 1:8 (NLT)

“Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But they delight in the law of the LORD, meditating on it day and night. They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do.” Psalm 1:1-3 (NLT)

However, how much time each day will vary from person to person and from season to season. God will meet you where you are. If reading the bible and having a quiet time on a daily basis are not a regular habit for you, I would recommend to start small and work up from there.

First, try starting with 10-15 minutes a day. Think of it like endurance training—you wouldn’t start off running a marathon. You build up your endurance a little at a time. Trying to spend long periods of time may prove to overwhelm and frustrate you. If you start small and work up from there, you’ll find that you enjoy it, understand more, and have a desire to spend even more time with God and in His Word more and more.

“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” Philippians 2:13 (NLT)

Other helpful articles & resources

I’m going to refer you to some other articles and resources that you might find helpful about feeling loved, growing in your relationship with God, and spending time with God. Please take some time to read and/or watch the following. I truly believe they will help you tremendously.

How to Recognize Love and Feel Loved by Others

What if God’s Love Isn’t Enough?

Recognizing God’s Love By Building Your Relationship With Him–Part 1

Recognizing God’s Love By Building Your Relationship With Him–Part 2

Tips to Start Reading the Bible on a Regular Basis

Lastly, my final resource is a video/sermon that I highly recommend watching. Several years ago, Pastor Robert Morris of Gateway Church came to speak at my church. It’s been one of my very favorite messages on God’s love for us: “God’s Greatest Desire”. Unfortunately, I don’t have a link to the original podcast that I heard. However, I did find the same message (just a slightly different version) on YouTube (link here for the video below) as well as a video/audio message on their church website within their “Love Expressed” series. The message is approximately 30 minutes—please take a half an hour of your time to listen to this message. It’s amazing!

Take Some Practical Steps To Spend Time With God And To Know That He Loves You:

• First, find a reading plan. It’s easiest to start with a pre-made plan. Try YouVersion or their free app for smart phones.
• Then, start by spending 10-15 minutes in a DAILY quiet time.
• Next, get additional tips and encouragement by reading the resources and posts listed above. If it’s too overwhelming to read them all in one setting, just pick one a day to read.  Consider bookmarking this page to have easy access to the post links.
• Finally, watch the “God’s Greatest Desire” video (or listen to the audio).

Spending a daily quiet time with God will build your relationship with Him (as would spending time with anyone) and in doing so, you’ll get to know Him and His heart better.  When you do this, you will realize how very dearly that He loves you and how He’s given up everything for you.  The bible contains the greatest romance story of all time (including your hero riding in on a white horse at the end!).  I pray that you will truly grasp that God LITERALLY thinks you are to die for! 😉  He loves you Tina.  My prayers will continue to be with you.

 

What tips do you have for spending time with God? Tell us about it by leaving a comment below.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are rude, disrespectful, sarcastic, offensive, or off-topic.  By posting on this site you agree to my Comment Policy.

P.S.  If you liked this post, you might enjoy receiving new posts delivered right to your inbox each week!  Sign up here. 

If you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward!  Share this post via the sharing links below.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)