What Does the Bible Say About Apologizing?

Someone recently said to me that you can’t find someone saying “I’m sorry” anywhere in the Bible. In all honesty, it’s an accurate statement…to an extent. Those exact words may not have been used (depending on the translation you use). Even so, I had never heard the word “yeet” until my teenagers started using it this past year (insert rolling eyes and face slap). Although the exact words “I’m sorry” might not be mentioned in scripture, there most certainly is much discussion about confession (to God and others), repentance, seeking forgiveness, and making peace. The terminology and exact wording may just look a little different.

So what DOES the Bible say about apologizing?

Apologizing requires humility

Apologizing takes humility, and humility is a character that God greatly values! When we humble ourselves and apologize to others (which can almost always be extremely difficult to do), we are showing honor and respect to those we have wronged. Apologizing comes from a humbled heart, and God honors and favors this trait.

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”” James 4:6 (NIV)

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.” James 4:10 (NLT)

“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”” 1 Peter 5:5 (NIV)

“Though the LORD is great, he cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud.” Psalm 138:6 (NLT)

“The LORD mocks the mockers but is gracious to the humble.” Proverbs 3:34 (NLT)

“Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor.” Proverbs 29:23 (NLT)

“But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Matthew 23:12 (NLT)

Apologizing consists of confess your sins and making reconciliation

Scriptures mention that if we have sinned or wronged someone, we should confess that sin, both to God and others and make an attempt at reconciliation when possible.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James 5:16 (NLT)

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 (NIV)

“People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.” Proverbs 28:13 (NLT)

“When you become aware of your guilt in any of these ways, you must confess your sin.” Leviticus 5:5 (NLT)

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24 (ESV)

“Fools make fun of guilt, but the godly acknowledge it and seek reconciliation.” Proverbs 14:9 (NLT)

Repentance is a requirement of a genuine apology, and repentance is also a mandate of scripture.

Genuine repentance requires a sincere desire to modify our behavior and future actions, thus turning away from this behavior. We can see this theme of “repent…and turn” throughout the New Testament.

“From then on Jesus began to preach, “Repent of your sins and turn to God, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near.” Matthew 4:17 (NLT)

“So the disciples went out, telling everyone they met to repent of their sins and turn to God.” Mark 6:12 (NLT)

“Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away.” Acts 3:19 (NLT)

“God overlooked people’s ignorance about these things in earlier times, but now he commands everyone everywhere to repent of their sins and turn to him.” Acts 17:30 (NLT)

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” 2 Corinthians 7:10 (NIV)

“Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.” Revelation 2:5 (NIV)

“So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” Luke 17:3-4 (NIV)

Apologizing is a form of seeking and making peace, which the Bible instructs us to do.

We can see through scripture that God honors and blesses those who strive for and attempt to make peace. Apologizing is definitely an act of peacemaking.

“God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.” Matthew 5:9 (NLT)

“Strive to live in peace with everybody and pursue that consecration and holiness without which no one will [ever] see the Lord. Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God’s grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it” Hebrews 12:14-15 (AMPC)

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18 (NIV)

“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” Romans 14:19 (NIV)

Some examples of apologies in scripture

Joseph’s brothers

After Jacob’s death, Joseph’s brothers feared retaliation from Joseph for all the wrongs that they had done to him. They sought forgiveness from him.

“So they sent this message to Joseph: “Before your father died, he instructed us to say to you: ‘Please forgive your brothers for the great wrong they did to you—for their sin in treating you so cruelly.’ So we, the servants of the God of your father, beg you to forgive our sin.” When Joseph received the message, he broke down and wept. Then his brothers came and threw themselves down before Joseph. “Look, we are your slaves!” they said.” Genesis 50:15-18 (NLT)

Pharaoh

Pharaoh requested forgiveness in the wake of the plagues (specifically here was after the plague of the locusts). After the plague was lifted, however, he again hardened his heart.

“Pharaoh quickly summoned Moses and Aaron. “I have sinned against the LORD your God and against you,” he confessed. Forgive my sin, just this once, and plead with the LORD your God to take away this death from me.” Exodus 10:16-17 (NLT)

King Saul

After God had rejected Saul as king, Saul admitted his sin and requested forgiveness from Samuel. He had not been loyal to the Lord and had not obeyed the Lord’s commands (1 Samuel 15:11). Unfortunately in this case, apologizing didn’t eliminate some of his natural consequences, as is sometimes the case.

“Then Saul admitted to Samuel, “Yes, I have sinned. I have disobeyed your instructions and the LORD’s command, for I was afraid of the people and did what they demanded. But now, please forgive my sin and come back with me so that I may worship the LORD.” 1 Samuel 15:24-25 (NLT)

David

David confessed his sin and guilt to Nathan, and he repented to the Lord and sought forgiveness for his sin of adultery and murder.

“Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” Nathan replied, “Yes, but the LORD has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin.” 2 Samuel 12:13 (NLT)

See Psalm 51:1-19

**There are also many other examples throughout the Psalms of David confessing, repenting and requesting forgiveness. Ex: “But I confess my sins; I am deeply sorry for what I have done.” Psalm 38:18 (NLT)

Abigail

Abigail apologized to David on behalf of her husband, Nabal, after he treated David and his men poorly and refused to help them with provisions.

“When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed low before him.  She fell at his feet and said, “I accept all blame in this matter, my lord. Please listen to what I have to say. I know Nabal is a wicked and ill-tempered man; please don’t pay any attention to him. He is a fool, just as his name suggests. But I never even saw the young men you sent. “Now, my lord, as surely as the LORD lives and you yourself live, since the LORD has kept you from murdering and taking vengeance into your own hands, let all your enemies and those who try to harm you be as cursed as Nabal is. And here is a present that I, your servant, have brought to you and your young men. Please forgive me if I have offended you in any way. The LORD will surely reward you with a lasting dynasty, for you are fighting the LORD’s battles. And you have not done wrong throughout your entire life.” 1 Samuel 25:23-28 (NLT)

Nineveh

Nineveh repents of their sins after Jonah delivers a message from God to them.

“The people of Nineveh believed God’s message, and from the greatest to the least, they declared a fast and put on burlap to show their sorrow. When the king of Nineveh heard what Jonah was saying, he stepped down from his throne and took off his royal robes. He dressed himself in burlap and sat on a heap of ashes. Then the king and his nobles sent this decree throughout the city: “No one, not even the animals from your herds and flocks, may eat or drink anything at all. People and animals alike must wear garments of mourning, and everyone must pray earnestly to God. They must turn from their evil ways and stop all their violence.” Jonah 3:5-8 (NLT)

Zacchaeus

Zacchaeus offered up an apology in the form of making restitution.

“Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!”” Luke 19:8 (NLT)

Paul

Paul apologized for speaking harshly to the high priest. He was unaware that he was the high priest, and Paul acknowledged that the scriptures say that we must not speak evil of any of our rulers (referring to Exodus 22:28).

“I’m sorry, brothers. I didn’t realize he was the high priest,” Paul replied, “for the Scriptures say, ‘You must not speak evil of any of your rulers.’” Acts 23:5 (NLT) (*notice that the New Living Translation DOES use the words “I’m sorry”)

Take Some Practical Steps Toward Apologizing:

• First, know that apologies are scriptural. While the exact words “I’m sorry” may not be used, the Bible definitely promotes and includes confession (to God and others), repentance, seeking forgiveness, and making peace.

  Apologies are scriptural. The Bible definitely promotes confession (to God and others), repentance, seeking forgiveness, and making peace.

  Click To Tweet

• Secondly, consider the following questions:

-Do you feel like you do a good job of offering apologies? Do you attempt to make peace? Is it difficult for you to apologize to others?

-Think of a time when an apology was difficult but you did it anyway. What was the outcome?

-Think of a time when you avoided apologizing. What was your reason for not apologizing? What harm did/could have come from you not apologizing?

-Why do you think it’s important to go ahead and apologize even when it’s extremely difficult (i.e. pros & cons, see also James 5:16)? How does apologizing benefit both parties (the offended and the offender)?

-Is there anyone that you need to apologize to (from the past or present)? Give this some prayerful consideration—Ask God to show or reveal to you any offenses (Psalm 139:23-34).

• Next, learn how to make a genuine apology.

Read this post here for some tips: How to Apologize Effectively

• Then, understand that Apologizing Doesn’t Remove All Consequences.

Think about some consequences that you may still have to face, even after genuinely apologizing.

• Finally, make sure to repent, turn from wrong behavior so as not to repeat it.

True repentance is more than just an apology. Some of the indicators of true repentance include giving a genuine apology, demonstrating humility, submitting to authority, exhibiting transparency, making amends, demonstrating patience, and revealing evident and lasting change. Read the article “True Repentance: What to look for…”. Do you exhibit the characteristics of true repentance when you commit an offense against another? Are any of these indicators difficult for you? If so, what do you think is holding you back from having this kind of complete and full repentance?

What new insights have you gained about apologizing? Tell us about it by leaving a comment below!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are rude, disrespectful, sarcastic, offensive, or off-topic.  By posting on this site you agree to my Comment Policy.

P.S.  If you liked this post, you might enjoy receiving new posts delivered right to your inbox each week!  Sign up here. 

If you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward!  Share this post via the sharing links below.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)